So I'll just cut right to the chace: When it comes time

>>18478373

pretty much exactly what you said. you like a girl, but you pussy out then rationalize as a defense mechanism.

>>18478376
Is it really pussying out though? Like I said I'm not nervous, I'm just like "eh, its not really a good time, I'll do it next week."

>>18478373
Next time, think back to your thoughts of being a pussy/loser to motivate yourself to not feel like a pussy/loser later. Once you do it once, it'll be more easy just because you have experience in the matter/ It doesn't matter if you are rejected, only that you tried in the first place.

>>18478378

sounds like you then rationalize as a defense mechanism. if it was just a 'not really a good time' why wouldnt you ask her next week?

just because you arent nervously sweating and spilling spaghetti doesn't mean you didn't pussy out.

>Not because I'm shy or nervous or anything, I just choose not to
Yeah right. You didn't chose anything, fear did it for you.

I mean, I can't give you any real answer with only that information, but it sounds a lot like fear of rejection. The most obvious answer is to "push through" it and just ask her out next time, no matter what your brain tells you is the right "choice". If you want a more detailed answer read "Models" by Mark Manson.

>>18478384
I have asked a girl out before though. It hasn't gotten any easier.

>>18478385
Ok. Yeah, it's just that if there were a 100% chance she'd say yes, or for that matter a 100% chance she'd say no it'd be easier. It's just that the uncertainty freaks me out. Not to mention the likelihood of her saying yes and then flaking.

>>18478403

welcome to life.

once you realize it doesn't fucking matter you get over it though.

>>18478400
>The most obvious answer is to "push through" it and just ask her out next time, no matter what your brain tells you is the right "choice".
Noted. I guess it would be worth mentioning I've never NOT been rejected.

Even asking people I thought were friends to hang out. I've been given the old "oh, I gotta do something later" or "another time," one of my "friends even laughed at me and told me to get a life, so...

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52KB, 640x640px

>>18478412

>never NOT been rejected

woof.

>>18478416
The only time anyone's agreed to spend time doing extracurricular activities with me was my friend who I've been friends with since elementary school. So, yeah. It's true.

Just saying, he's probably right about the fear of rejection thing, even if it's subconscious.

>>18478421

that doesnt rationalize a fear of rejection. you are who you are regardless of whether or not someone rejects you, whether good or bad.

being afraid of rejection is like being afraid of mirrors. the mirrors arent the problem.

>>18478424
Fear of rejection can be caused by a lack of success is all I'm saying. I'm not saying I'm not willing to change.

>>18478430

if youve never not been rejected then focus less on quantity and start focusing on quality. people dont just choose one random person to shit on for all of existence. you see it in TVs and movies because the writers are trying to wokr through their own issues and can't admit that they were assholes back in the day.

you may not be an asshole but there are plenty of other reasons people might reject you.

>be me senior year
>meet a guy who is really fucking annoying
>we try our best to welcome him into our friend group anyway
>he has to tell these really long 20 minute stories that take up our entire lunch break without any of us getting to talk
>we talk to him after school one day and say he needs to slow the roll so everyone can have a chance to talk.
>he says 'oh i wont sit with you anymore its okay'
>we say 'no, its okay to sit with us, we just need you to be more open to others talking as well
>'no its okay i wont bother you'
>'okay but if you change your mind just know you are always welcome at our table
>two days later a counselor calls me in and asks me why i banned him from sitting our table
>he insists we kicked him out for no reason.

>>18478449
Well I definitely don't talk too much and I definitely don't bitch out of situations like that.

I guess I might be kind of boring. Is it pathetic to ask a friend or family why?

>>18478463

you can try. you might not like what you find. mine was only an example of a boy who had become corrupted by what happens.

when were young we tend to have a small experience that moulds us. Perhaps you had some fat kid physically bully you. so your parents told you you were better than him because you are smart. so then you fixate on your intelligence and how that makes you better than everyone else adn any time you see an attractive or bigger guy do anything negative you insist that you areb etter than them to feel less bad about it.

then before you know it you're watching death note and talking about how all the 'sheep' of the world would be better off with you in control.

>>18478473
None of that really describes me, but I see your point.

A woman has already made her choice about you before you even approached her. You're just talking to her to see what it is. If you don't approach women then chances are you've missed out on girls who may have been interested in you. Giving in to fear and not asking feels a lot worse than rejection from someone you barely knew.

>>18478484

>none of that really describes me
>but i see your point.

apparently not if you feel the need to clarify that.

again, just an example. the point im trying to make is that any small thing could have begun to corrupt you if you let it. if you have been universally rejected on every level for your entire life then its not some single fatal flaw you have. There has to be something wrong with both your face adn your personality.

>>18478490
I'm just saying, that hypothetical stuff you came up with doesn't sound like me or my situation at all.

But there's nothing wrong with my face. At all. I just don't understand why most people are invited into this little club of "normal" people. Meanwhile, people make assumptions about me i.e. I don't like doing the same shit they do, or don't like the same things they do. Or gossip, like other people know what's going on in other people's lives. Even if it could potentially hurt or help me. Like my sister. She'd gladly let me marry an evil succubus if it meant she didn't have to spill some "secret" about her friend.