My attempt to making a shorter version of describing how I feel, to anyone interested, it's this thread (long version): >>18477945
I can't connect with other people, no matter how hard I try, I just can't relate to them.
And in general, I find most people boring, or straight up annoying.
This may look like it was said by a complete arrogant, but I am not, most of the time at least. I dislike showing off, and I don't like too much attention from people either.
I'm an 18 y.o. virgin. I'm not really concerned about losing my virginity, but more about the fact that I can't really find a girl, who is humble, and dresses accordingly, and at least moderately looking and moderately intelligent. I may be looking in the wrong places, but then again, my social cicle is pretty much confined to my only close friend I suppose, and I am not really looking into expanding it, I find it utterly meaningless.
And so, I suppose I'll never get a chance to show someone how much I want to give, or feel like someones wants me to come to somewhere, or cheer someone by my sole presence. Someone to really value me, to love me, other than my parents. The person who raised me (my parents couldn't look after me most of the time when I was young, because they were working long hours) almost had a stroke the other day, and I didn't feel anything, not even fear that I might not see her again.
I mostly cope with things by myself. My mother told me that my father believes that he has lost contact/his year with me (I can't translate it any better, but what he basically said he didn't say it in a bad way, nevertheless, made me feel like a dissapointment).
To the ones that made it so far, thank you for reading this edgy as shit post of mine.
All I can think after writing this, is this: What's wrong with me? I mean, I am the one who can't develop healty relationships, not the others.
Am I cold at heart?
Please help.