>commute to work every morning at the same time >see this

if she doesn't give you any signals the endeavor is pointless.

>>18465549
Maybe before you talk to her try and catch eye contact and smile at her, you can usually tell if a girl is interested in speaking to you at all by how she responds to making eye contact across the room. Just look at her and try to give a warm smile, if she responds well, maybe the next day sit down next to her and say hi. Mention that you have noticed her there at the same time as you and then just introduce yourself.

>>18465576
I was about to say that, she will probably feel bothered and think about OP in terms of "this pestering dude"

>>18465549
>but never smiled at me or anything, she just looked away most of the time.

Don't be the creepy guy at the train. She is just trying to use public transport, let her be. Don't do anything.

>>18465576
You're right. Maybe she's just shy?

>>18465580
I'll do that. Do you think it's weird that I haven't talked to her 3 months or do girls not care about that?

>>18465606
>Maybe she's just shy?
Are you an average looking guy or a 9/10 at least? Look, it is more likely that she is just occupied with her life and her stuff. She listens to music, reads a book, uses trains and train stations for their designated purpose instead of turning them into dating platforms.

If you must, chat her up. But I doubt it will be a comfortable situation for either of you.

And yes, she'll be aware that you silently creeped on her for 3 months before making a move.

>>18465606
I think it should be fine that you waited this long, since you can just mention that you've noticed you share the same commute and that will give a starting point to the conversation.
But for fucks sake OP, if she looks uncomfortable at all or disinterested leave her alone. You don't want to make her hate the trip to work any more than she already definitely does. Or worse, she chooses to find a new route all together over having to talk to you ever again because you were weird.

>>18465627
>Are you an average looking guy or a 9/10 at least?
Unfortunately, I'm more of a 6/10

>And yes, she'll be aware that you silently creeped on her for 3 months before making a move.
You're probably right, I think she noticed me.
It was actually my idea that she just wants that the guy makes the first move, that's the only reason I'm even asking that. Ofc it doesn't look too great, but maybe girls just want attention?

The next time it's raining, open up your umbrella and let her stand under it.

Then say, "Hi, I'm anon by the way. I see you every day but I suck at talking to strangers."

If she acts weird during the initial exchange of pleasantries, drop it and leave her be.

Otherwise, it's a good way to get your foot in the door

>>18465646
>It was actually my idea that she just wants that the guy makes the first move

Are you implying she is interested but waiting for you? Dude, she avoids your gaze and doesn't even smile. She is not into you.

>>18465649
Holy shit, it is actually raining the next days.
Thanks anon, that's some good advice!

>>18465655
If she has her own umbrella already, just hide yours in your backpack or something and ask, "Sorry, do you mind if I stand under there with you?"

>>18465670
Okay now you are crossing into autist territory.

>>18465673
How is it autistic to politely ask someone if you can stand under their umbrella at the bus stop?

>>18465675

Train station. Those usually have roofs. Also, if you need to force this so much, holy shit, isn't that a good indicator of how awful the plan is?

>>18465675
1. You already have your own, which you were hiding in your bag. If she sees it at any point she is going to be weirded tf out.
2. Its a bus stop? There is almost always already shelter there. If you ask to share the tiny space under her umbrella while there is an entire bus stop there thats fucking autistic.

OP here:
It does have a roof, However, it is so huge that I usually wait at the very end of it so there isn't a roof anymore. She is always waiting there as well, always at the same spot as me.

>>18465682

Obviously the umbrella idea doesn't work if wherever you're standing has a fucking roof.

The idea isn't to "force" something. It's to create a socially acceptable pretext to start a conversation. It's 100x better than just approaching a complete stranger out of the blue and saying "Hi!"

>>18465696

100 x 0 is still 0. The setup is creepy, and adding an umbrella doesn't change that. It's been three months of OP staring at her. He needs to move on.

>>18465691
1. That's why I said "hide" it. The idea there is that she doesn't see it, genius.
2. See >>18465696

Have any of you ever approached a stranger with the goal of asking them out before? Having a pretext to talk to them is an absolute necessity

>>18465713
>Having a pretext to talk to them is an absolute necessity
Do you think the umbrella thing is better than walking to her and saying "I was too shy approaching you so far but you're cute ..."?

>>18465708
The point of this whole charade is so that the girl doesn't think "This guy has been staring at me imagining a life together for the past 3 months" but rather "Oh, this guy is just being friendly, I'll chat with him for a second"

You people are so socially stunted that you think talking to a stranger you're attracted to is automatically creepy. It's only creepy if you come off that way. If you do it right, even if she's not into you, she'll still be flattered that some guy finds her attractive. Everyone likes attention if it's given in a friendly and non-intrusive way.

>>18465734

Basically anything is better than that. You don't want her to know that you've been eyeballing her since forever.

>>18465739
>Everyone likes attention if it's given in a friendly and non-intrusive way.

And you expect the guy eye-fucking her for three months to come off as natural instead of creepy?

Think for a second if this plan can work in this situation.

>>18465744
You're right, I'll try the umbrella one.

General question:
Let aside the eyeballing for 3 months, do girls actually want to talk to anyone while listening to music? I feel like when they have their earpods in, they want to be left alone.
I might be wrong tho, maybe they listen to music BECAUSE they are alone. What do you think?

>>18465750
>And you expect the guy eye-fucking her for three months to come off as natural instead of creepy?

You said eye-fucking. He said he saw a cute girl and has been too nervous to talk to her. What you said is creepy. What he said is actually sweet.

So yes, I think it's entirely possible for OP to find a way to talk to this girl and not come off as creepy.

>>18465766
It could be one or the other, but either way I would say it's intrusive to begin speaking to someone with earbuds in. They have to interrupt whatever they're listening to to hear what you're saying. I wouldn't do it.

>>18465770
This is what I think as well.
Talking to her while she reads a book or something seems more appropriate to me.

>>18465768
>He said he saw a cute girl and has been too nervous to talk to her.

He said she stands near him every day. He says she noticed him staring. He says she never smiled at him, is busy with music or books, and looks away from him.

So yeah, I don't think this is sweet.

>>18465766
>maybe they listen to music BECAUSE they are alone.

If someone does that in class or at work, specially over lunch, then yeah, I'd bet on lonely.

On public transportation, though? Every is alone there, specially if they are just going to work. So no, I don't think that applies to her.

>>18465781
The problem is, I never see her outside the train and train station. So I don't know whether she's a loner and just shy or just reserved.

>>18465787

And that's why it's creepy. Three months. She could have signaled for you to advance. The fact she didn't should be an indicator that she doesn't want you to.

Also, as you point out, you know nothing about her. Let me ask you something: Why are you here asking for help to talk to this girl instead of talking to some female that you know and that likes you?

>>18465792
> Why are you here asking for help to talk to this girl
I hoped to get the opinion of some anons that don't know me personally (which I got, thanks guys)
>instead of talking to some female that you know and that likes you?
The only female friends I have are either taken or have openly admitted not being into me.
I'm 21 and I am still single. This girl I see everyday seems really humble (NOT what on here would be called a "Stacy"), so I thought that I might be lucky for once.

>>18465792

You're ignoring the possibility that the girl barely knows OP exists and doesn't even register him on her radar.

In fact I would say that's way more probable than her having already evaluated him as someone she has no interest in dating.

They haven't even interacted yet. Why on earth would she signal some rando at the train station to come talk to her? Because they made eye contact once and she looked away? That's not how these things work.

>>18465808
>humble

What do you mean by that? I admit I don't know exactly what "Stacy" is. I've read it around, but like the term "Chad" I never looked up a real definition.

>>18465809

Ok, let me turn it around to you: Why should OP think she is available? She is doing stuff on her trip, she might be gay, in a relationship, or just not into him. Do you really think women like being propositioned all the time just for existing?

Also, you keep minimizing it. It was not "she looked away once". OP has been staring at her for a while. His OP makes it very clear. Ans she noticed him.

>>18465813
She just seems like that type of girl that rather stays at home on Saturday evenings, reading a good book instead of partying at a local club or bar.
She doesn't look arrogant at all, doesn't wear makeup and walks around with messy hair.

Look OP, the truth is you can sit around her all day debating on signals she sends you or doesn't send you, what kind of girl she is, etc. - but you will never know until you try.

As long as you're not overbearing or pushy or intrusive, I can't see any harm in just talking to her.

At that point, if she's clearly not interested, just let it be and continue being strangers on the commute.

Rejection happens. If you just never talk to anyone because you're scared of it, you'll never get anywhere unless the other person makes all the effort - which only happens very rarely

>>18465825

So, you figured out her personality by staring at her. Don't build girls up in your head like this. You don't even know her.

Also, see how your definition is about what she DOESN'T do as a way to say she is better than other girls? You want to ask out an idea, not this girl.

>>18465826
That's what I think as well and I could kill myself for not approaching her after like 2 weeks.

>>18465824

He's not propositioning her, he's literally just trying to talk to her to see IF he SHOULD proposition her.

There's no way he can know the answer to any of those questions until he talks to her. You're making such a huge deal out of a simple conversation that would be the first and potentially only one that happens between them.

If she doesn't want to talk, he'll stop talking to her, and that's that. You're acting like he's trying to ram his tongue down her throat or something.

He's just a shy person with a crush. There are millions of people just like him all over the world. It's completely normal and harmless.

>>18465826
>I can't see any harm in just talking to her.

It's uncomfortable, and it will make a trip she needs everyday be more creepy.

Just getting it off your chest is not a god enough reason to think you have a right to bother people.

>>18465836

Have you ever seen it from the women's point of view? Do you really think she won't notice why he is talking to her?

There was this news about a dude that started posting signs to find a girl from the train, and a couple days later an opposite sign appeared from the girl, saying she was creeped out and that if they had been alone in the train she would have left because he was constantly staring at her. It was in Spain or some shit.

Point is, crushes are dumb. Wanna date? Try online, go to bars, or some other place where people are looking for this shit. Just taking the train is not an invitation.

>>18465830
Well, I like her because she's all natural, not because of no makeup (although that is like the same thing).

I'm not a party guy myself, so I figured that could fit.
To be honest, I know that generalizing doesn't make sense. However, she is the only one reading a book or listening to music while reading, while the other girls here are ALL either smoking and texting or just texting.
So yea I don't know her but judging from her appearance, she might be humble and I find that attractive.

>>18465837
Not everyone thinks a stranger talking to them is uncomfortable.

>>18465851
Yes, which is why I emphasized unintrusiveness and politeness. There is a massive difference between a guy posting SIGNS about a person to someone just saying hello.

Just like with any social interaction, you take social cues, verbal and nonverbal, and frame your replies around that.

I never said OP should hound her or be pushy. I said the exact opposite.

>>18465852

Again, you lie she is reading just because others don't do it. You want to date an idea. The idea of a "better girl". But you don't know this one.

>I'm not a party guy myself

Neither am I and I don't think we would be very good friends. Just because we DON'T like the same thing doesn't mean we will like each other.

>>18465866
>I never said OP should hound her or be pushy. I said the exact opposite.

And I told you why he probably won't. Read this: >>18465852. He is already building her up in his head. He has already decided they are a good fit. Can you see my point? He is going too fast in his own head. How will he behave with her?

>>18465852
You're an idiot for filling up the blanks. She might be nothing like the idealised picture of her you have created out of your loneliness and wishful fantasies.

>We see each other EVERY day and she noticed me before, but never smiled at me or anything, she just looked away most of the time.

She is not interested but because she reads books instead of texting she surely is not a party girl, just like you are not a party guy, so you two must be soulmates.

I didn't see anything wrong with your idea of asking her out, but now I realise that you are one of these pathetic morons who create an imaginary version of a person they like before making a move. For 3 goddamn months you couldn't summon up enough courage to say a simple "hi" to her, but in your head you two are already dating and planning names for your future offspring. I hope she'll tell you to fuck off, honestly.

>>18465873
You don't know him and you don't know her. You're projecting this air of a creepy sex-starved stalker on to him in the exact same way he's projecting an ideal onto the girl.

The fact is you just don't know until you at least speak to the person. It's silly to assume you know so much about what someone wants/how they behave when you haven't ever exchanged a single word with them.

>>18465868
Maybe. But I think it's more that those other girls share 0 interest with me, so it's normal that I don't find them interesting (neither do they have interest in me, from what I presume).
I sound like a hypocrite in your story, but what I try is finding people that share common interests with me, as shallow as this may sound.

>>18465887

Dude, you put the guy down in the post right above this one. You are finally seeing him as I did. Only difference is that it took you a bit longer.

>>18465890

No, you are idealizing her. You don't know if she shares you interests.

>>18465886
I just stated what I "think" her personality is like, because one anon asked me about it. Nothing more.

It's not her being not-a-party-girl that attracts me, it's her attitude, her hair, her smile (she didn't smile at me but at some 2 or 3 year old baby in the train once).
I stated my problem in the OP, my explanation was more like what I think she is like and I would like to find that out.
>>18465904
Yea, but what can I do? I can't be the only one doing that. Of course I have an opinion about her without knowing her and I would like to find out how she really is. Problem is that I didn't have the balls so far to ask her and I'm afraid it's too late.

This whole debate about her looks or her personality is more just my personal opinion. This is of course important, you wouldn't approach a girl that you think is totally not sharing any interest with you, even if you don't you even know her at all.

>>18465899
No, I didn't. That post isn't me.

I agree that OP is slightly naive in that he already has an idea of what this girl may be like in his head.

I don't agree that he is pathetic or a moron, however. I totally sympathize with him and I think he's just another lonely soul trying to navigate the awful bureaucracy of overly meticulous social convention to find someone to love.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all. Shy people just get a bad reputation because of the ones who don't know how to respect peoples' boundaries.

>>18465886
>You're an idiot for filling up the blanks. She might be nothing like the idealised picture of her you have created out of your loneliness and wishful fantasies.

Lets be honest, who doesn't do that? Cant blame OP here, we all judge people that we don't know.

>>18465941
Sure, but he spent 3 months on doing that instead of chatting her up after a week or two. So his false impressions of her are rather grounded at this point.

>>18465923
>No, I didn't. That post isn't me.

Sorry for assuming then.

>Shy people just get a bad reputation because of the ones who don't know how to respect peoples' boundaries.

You are telling OP to do just that. To approach a stranger on her way to work just because looking at her makes his willy hard and she is not a "Stacy".

>>18465941
Thanks

>>18465946
I get what you are saying. I am probably about to do the wrong thing out of the wrong reasons.
But come on, it's really frustrating, I want to talk to her but something is holding me back and I hate myself for that. Ofc, when seeing someone everyday for 15 minutes, you imagine what kind of person this is, I don't mean it bad.
I'm just someone that can"t approach people and it's killing me inside.

>>18465919
>Yea, but what can I do?

To stop idealizing her? Get real prospects for dating. If you had girls you were flirting with, you wouldn't even look twice at some rando on the train. But the people around you are not available or already rejected you.

Here's what I think you should do: Branch out and expand your social circle. This stupid crushes are a cry for help from your subconscious. If you have the time to idealize a stranger, it means you need more social contact.

>>18465963
>I want to talk to her but something is holding me back

You know, deep down, that it's creepy and that it would make her really uncomfortable..

>>18465958

Now you're just shitposting. For the millionth time, talking to a stranger does not automatically equal invading their privacy.

Also, you're the one who is projecting this perverted sexual deviancy into his motives. That says way more about you than it does about him. He just said he would like to get to know her.

If I were going to be approached by a stranger, I would much rather it be him than you.

>>18465958
>Stacy
I should have never mentioned that name, I just read it all over 4chan and thought it might give you guys an impression. Again, this is not the reason I want to talk to her, I solely stated that I like how she looks like and how she behaves. That's all.

>>18465965
I agree. But I think talking to strangers would be a good first step wouldn't it? Even in my group of friends, I'm not the "normal" one, so why not trying to talk to strangers? This might give me some self-esteem I thought.

>>18465973
>you're the one who is projecting this perverted sexual deviancy into his motives.

What are his motives? He already listed them for us:

1) She is cute

2) She doesn't seem to be an Stacy

I'm not projecting, he said that.

>>18465980
No I didn't say that.
I'm probably not lurking enough to fully understand the Stacy thing.
Again:
1. Yes I find her cute.
2. Yes, she looks like she has a really nice personality and is humble. That doesn't mean she does, I would like to find it out.

>>18465979
>Again, this is not the reason I want to talk to her, I solely stated that I like how she looks like and how she behaves. That's all.

You don't now how she behaves. I already pointed out you assume she doesn't behave like other girls. You like what she DOESN'T do.

>But I think talking to strangers would be a good first step wouldn't it?

Of course not! Most people will react badly to being approached by a stranger. At the very least, they'll ignore you, and that will wreck havoc with your self esteem.

Instead of shooting at random, try going top laces where you fit. Where your interests are appreciated and shared. Where you can be you.

But a stranger? Won't work. Will only make you feel worse. And most of the time, it won't even be your whole fault. People have a life to deal with, and you never know why they might react badly.

On the other hand, it's easy to make friends in a club or social gathering, as people are enjoying themselves there. They won't be in such a happy mood when going to work.

>>18465998
>You don't now how she behaves. I already pointed out you assume she doesn't behave like other girls. You like what she DOESN'T do.
I see her everyday, so I kinda do.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? You see someone everyday and like her/him out of more or less pathetic reasons?

>On the other hand, it's easy to make friends in a club or social gathering, as people are enjoying themselves there.
I already plan to go out more which I already am. But yea, it doesn't help that speaking to strangers is making me feel uncomfortable. But I keep trying for sure.

>>18466013
>What would you do if you were in my shoes?

I used to see this girl all the time do to my job. A couple times a month for the last two years. I even talked to her a couple times, as I gave her some things to sign and she payed me.

Still, doesn't mean I get to ask her out. I talked to her, and nothing ever came out of it. Well, too bad.

I would never even try it on public transport. Specially if we both will keep making the same route.

>it doesn't help that speaking to strangers is making me feel uncomfortable. But I keep trying for sure.

Awesome! Just make sure you try in social gathering and other such places, not randomly on the street. And don't undervalue taking to guys, too. You want to make friends and be comfortable with strangers. And they might introduce you to some girls down the line.

>>18466029
>I would never even try it on public transport. Specially if we both will keep making the same route.
Yea, that is something that pops up in my mind as well.

>You want to make friends and be comfortable with strangers. And they might introduce you to some girls down the line.
That's the plan. For too long, I thought that I am destined to be socially awkward. Well maybe I am, but at least I try to do something, right.
I would even be ok to get some more friends to talk to

Still, this girl won't let me sleep in peace at night, I keep thinking about her.

Anyway, I gtg to sleep now, thanks for all your advices and all your help anons, I appreciate it!

>>18466053
>Still, this girl won't let me sleep in peace at night, I keep thinking about her.

Last bit of advice, that's not healthy. You are staying up for a literal stranger.

Or rather, you are putting the idea that keeps you up over her. The idea is that perfect girl you want, the one that will like you because she is different from the rest. You have to deal with the fact that that this girl is not that idea. No girl is. People are people. Treat them as people.

>>18465549
just politely pass her a sealed envelope with a letter inside explaining that you think she is beautiful and include your email address in case she wants to

>>18466077

Literally the worst idea yet in this thread.

>>18465549
You're probably not going to read this, but realize that if she found you disgusting she could have just taken the train at an ealier time. Yea sure she hasn't smiled or given you any interest, but who cares? Worst case scenario she says no to your advances and thats it. If she says no and you become uncomfortable then just ride the train or bus earlier and avoid her. Take the chance, you probably won't find any like this in the future.

>>18467100
I am.
That's actually a good point, thanks anon.

Didn't see her this morning at the station though since I had to begin working earlier than usual.

I think, I will approach her, you guys made some compelling statements. If she refuses to talk to me and feels awkward afterwards, she might as well just walk 20-30m away from me, we've got a big train station. And if she wants to have conversations, I'll be over the moon.