Ordered pacakge on darknet, vendor used "gay lube oil"

She probably know what's actually in the box and is keeping the weed for herself.

Just tell her it's lube for masturbation or take it from her. How stupid are you? Your mother isn't going to kick you out of the house over some lube or weed. If she does you don't want to live there anyway. Don't forget that God created weed, it's one of nature's gifts.

>implying that a vendor would ever mark a package "gay lube oil" and implying that doing so wouldn't just raise suspicion

>>18462435
Anon I can't even begin to express how retarded you are.

What in GOD'S name made you think a package boldly labelled "gay lube oil" would go over well in the event that someone other than you received the package first?

I suppose getting caught ordering lube isn't as bad as getting caught ordering something outright illegal. But of all things, GAY LUBE OIL? For fuck's sake you could have at least gone with heterosexual lube oil.

>>18462442
best response

>>18462435
1. Fuck you for ordering off the dark net to your parents house
2. Either tell her what's in inside or tell her it's for masturbation. She'll likely dispose of it either way.

>>18462435
where is the package hidden do you think? when she's out of the house or taking a shower or something i would loot through all her shit to find it. t's probably in her room

i'm a girl. if you live in ohio or possibly surrounding states ill stop by your house and tell your mom that it was a joke and i was sending it to mess with you in exchange for 3g

or if you don't live in ohio get one of your friends to come over and be like "LOL DUDE! got u good!! xD"

>>18462435
You've got dry skin from the air conditioning and you need something water based, hypoallergenic, and cheap.

tell her it's one of your mates playing a practical joke.

>>18463578
That would basically ensure the package making it into the trash

>>18462435
You cannot be this stupid and still remember to take six breaths a minute, can you?

Do you have no creativity?

FFS just say someone must have pranked you and sent something to your house or some shit.

You did not tell her you actually ordered that package did you? Because if you did, then this thread is pointless.

>>18462435
Sloppy with you getting yo weed bro. Really sloppy.

But basically if your mom is trying to make you admit that you have gay anal sex with your buddies at sleepovers. I mean my mom is cray cray too. Just tell her the fucking truth that you have a fiending for the green.

Either way you are temporary fucked for doing sloppy shit.

>>18462435
This could be the plot of a comedy movie

>>18462442
This. Admitting that you masturbate sounds like a WAY smaller problem than admitting that you do drugs or that you are gay. Tell her you just wanted to buy masturbation oil that you heard about and you had no idea it had anything to do with gayness or anal sex, and that it's probably a joke that the vendor put on the package. Tell her that you hesitated to tell the truth because you're too shy to talk openly about masturbation. It's possible that masturbation might offend her faith but it's definitely the least dangerous outcome.

I recommend that you also tell her you don't care that much about trying the oil thing and that you'd rather throw the stupid thing in the thrash. It might help convince her. You suffer a small cost but in exchange you drastically improve the odds of not being kicked out.

Lol be thankful it wasn't a bloody raid