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I need advice on how to handle my grandmother (mother's mom).
Some backstory:
My mom is an abusive narcissist. I'll get into details if asked. Anyway, my mom kicked me out of the house at 18 and I was literally homeless in the middle of winter. I lived in abandoned house and none of my family came to help me. I almost starved
Anyway, I thought my grandmother was my friend. She gave me food and shoes one time, but other than that she's done nothing. When I was homeless, she invited me to dinner and made me cry (I am a girl) out in public.
She's done this more than once, however I'm not homeless anymore and have a job. But, other times have included me pouring my heart out about the abuse and crying, but she doesn't believe her daughter did anything wrong.
Anyway, after 5 years I cut my mom out of my life. My family is going nuts and blaming me (victim blaming?). My sister won't talk to me, I think because grandmother and mom are paying for her college (but they won't co sign for my loans, or help me...)
The problem:
Yesterday my grandmother sent me an 'I love you!' text. I don't know how to respond. It doesn't feel like she loves me. What should I do?
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>>18460753
You don't. You've made a commitment to cut these people out of your life, bringing them back in will only cause more of an emotional burden on you. Move on. Time heals all wounds, and as more time passes and you start to make more of a life your own, start a family of your own that you'll love, you'll be the one with the true victory at the end of the day. Because you'll be happy all on you're own without validation from emotionally abusive people, you'll have made it. Good luck anon.
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>>18460808
Thank you, anon. I guess I just feel bad because my grandmother hasn't abused me....although she has been cruel, and I have younger brothers and sisters. Are you saying I should cut my losses? I only expected to cut my mother off, not mostly innocent people....
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>>18460823
Not only has she made you cry in public, but she denies what you tell her regarding the emotional abuse you mother inflicts on you. It's okay to feel bad, because you're a normal human being. Your sis won't talk to you, so she's already cut you off as her own loss. The only innocent person here is you, and you deserve to have a normal life. Trust me, move one. It hurts at first, but soon you'll start your own life, have your own kids, and be a better mother to them, and an even better grandmother to your grand children to prove everyone wrong about you. That you were the one who had their head on straight, not the emotionally abusive people. Time will heal you, but it's gonna take a long time, so be prepared.
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>>18460856
Thanks anon. This is what I will do. You're right.
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>>18460886
Have a good night anon, I wish you nothing but the best of luck. You'll get there :)
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