So I met a dude last summer and we hit it off awesomely (I'm a dude, he's a dude. It's some gay shit). We were flirting and getting intimate, and things seemed to be going well! I liked him a lot, and I started to hang out in his friend group and everything. Things seemed pretty good, and he even mentioned liking me back.
Anyways, once he goes back to college. He mentions out of the blue that he's going to be living at his boyfriend's place. I was pretty bummed by this, since he hadn't mentioned a boyfriend up until that point.
Needless to say, I started talking to him less, just because I didn't want to torture myself emotionally. I told him so when he messaged me, he told me he liked me back, but It doesn't really help the situation, since =He has a boyfriend. We still talk, but I still try to keep him at an arms distance, which upsets him.
I'm pretty pissed now. I feel like the asshole, because I feel like I'm ghosting him, but I just don't want to tell him off, because honestly, I still want to be friends with him, I just want to be friends once my feelings die down. I really don't want to burn this bridge. I feel like this is all my fault, because I waited too long to tell him I liked him. What do I do?
As a note, he's usually messing around with guys. His boyfriend doesn't seem to mind, so I'm guessing their relationship is open, which makes me feel like even more of an idiot.
First thing, you are not being an asshole.
He isstringing you along plus messing around with others and sound like his other half is willingly turning a blind eye or down right oblivious esp with the others he flirts with.
I see red flags of a manipulator here, be friends if you must - but in all honesty you would be best to keep yourself busy with other people that do not include him
>>18454240
My biggest fear is losing the mutual friends we have. I feel like each day I get a little closer to losing them if he ends up getting mad and breaking off what's left of the friendship himself.
>>18454261
Its not a problem being friends, but, only going off what you have wrote - "if he ends up getting mad"
If this would be the case then maybe it would be best to keep you distance, just a friendship can last with people with huge gaps between not seeing each other.
Im really trying not to be the negative just-get-rid-of-them poster, but again it still sounds of manipulation. They get angry when they no longer control a person they once could, even on a friendship level. It just does not sound good for your well-being