>2012, NEET virgin overweight MMO addict, in debt >2017,

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>>18453474
What helped put you in the right direction?

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>>18453484
Pain and loneliness was the driving force. As far as "setting me on the right path" I tried everything from across the internet. /fit/ is half people who don't know what they are talking about but being on any program> not being on a program. Diet means more than anything.

Your going to need self esteem from somewhere and lifting is all sorts of good when dealing with anxiety and getting the testosterone/motivation to change yourself.

Goodlookingloser and Mark Manson's Models were probably the two best resources for getting social/interacting with girls. To this day I remind myself of GLL's "9/10 guy is much different than the 999/1000 guy that your imagining" speech.

Zen and psychology (the older the self help the purer) helped a lot. I had to get over a lot of emotional baggage. I had only anger as an emotion at one point. I had to work to become honest with myself and get the full spectrum then I had to work to deal with the pain of the full spectrum.

I can give more specifics if you have a particular concern.

The best advice I have is to try everything, never give up and put faith in systems and routine action.

>>18453474
>Why does the chip on my shoulder feel bigger than ever?
Because you're still as insecure now as you were back then, I think. Despite all you've achieved you're still not sure you're worthy of any of it, and so, anything that might challenge your worthiness strikes really close to home.

To get rid of that chip you have to internalise that you've made it, that the little pricks you feel are nothing more than that. Mosquito bites on an elephant. The futile attempts of those jealous of and far beneath you to rile you up. Rise above them and find contentment, you have nothing to prove. Grow closer to your girlfriend, do your job and take things as they come. You have managed to take all the steps, save the last one.

>>18453533
That's probably pretty close to it. The main gnawing feeling I have is that I should do so much better and I've wasted so much effort to get to normal.

mind if I ask how old you are?

>>18453474
this is me:

>for the last 7 months almost everything I do is to get laid.
>not sure what I will do when it happens
>I don't even know how to actually have sex other than from porn.
>obviously can't tell this to the girl I'll get laid with because Im embarassingly old

any advice?

>>18453509
My issue is weight loss and not being able to make good friends. Women have always been something I just don't think I'll get around to.

>>18453740
You're hijacking a thread, but you're probably seeking OP. Well I'm not OP but I'm here to help:

For the record I usually get lucky once every few months, but that's largely due to the fact I don't go out much and I'm a workaholic.

Your problem might be the fact you have nothing to talk about. Before sex, before flirting, you have to be able to hold a conversation. That means having genuine and thought out opinions, stories to share and experiences to relate with. You want to get laid you first need to have substance.

You might get lucky and just happen across a girl who headed out to the pub with the intention of hooking up, but that's very rare for basic guys like you and me.

>>18453474
Fuck travel and fuck airports. It's always a god damn event.

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>>18453740
Just do it. Put yourself in the mindset that even if it is a trainwreck it is an experience you want to experience so you can get over your nervousness.

Do what you want- she'll say no or adjust you if she wants to do it a different way. Just enjoy yourself.

Worst things that can happen is 1. not getting hard 2. cumming to fast. I had a problem with 1. for a while, you just have to keep trying and relax. It helps alot if you have an understanding girl who you stick with and work through it.

>>18453776
Weight loss and making friends is all about routine.

For weight loss, make your diet routine than tinker with what you eat. The easiest way to lose weight is going to be to count calories. The easiest way to count calories is to plan your meals ahead and eat the same things so you know how much you are eating.

For making friends- join clubs, make it a routine to try starting conversations at all of the places you go regularly. These don't have to be deep meaningful conversations. You can simply ask the guy bagging your grocceries how he is doing. Ask your classmates about their weekend etc. The point is to make it routine to put yourself out there and get use to it.

Once its routine you'll feel more social freedom to go deeper, you will also 'know' more people and be able to see which ones want to be your friend/will make good friends.

>>18453474
What do you think I should do?

I'm a 25 year old virgin, no education, no job. I'm on the verge of suicide every day. Even though I've been in therapy and on medication on and off for the past 6-7 years, I feel worse than ever. I regret my entire life as I feel as if I've wasted the best years of my life on nothing. On top of that, I've dropped out of university twice because my choice of education wasn't right. I'm more afraid of waking up tomorrow than not.

I know there's no one magic solution to my pathetic life but any help is much appreciated.

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>>18453474
Was the path out of NEETdom a linear, buckle down and get to it sort of effort, or was it more of a passive one that you grew into, doing each achievement when you felt like it until you got to a point where you're like "Oh, I guess I'm here now." I ask this because my discipline and commitment is shit, and while I'm able to put effort to get something done, I can never really "keep at it" so to speak. I can never really make up my mind on what's worth doing and not doing with my life. I don't know if you've ever experienced the latter, but if it's the former, then what's the thing that's going to make me change into the other?

>>18453509
I saw you studied zen, that's cool. Study Zen seriously.

>>18454811
> I ask this because my discipline and commitment is shit, and while I'm able to put effort to get something done, I can never really "keep at it" so to speak.

It was both. I had to work hard to build habits and then certain things just happened.

I did progressive constant practice of simple things for example, talk to three random people a day while at university, when you are use to that make sure you talk to three random girls.

This lead to other things being easier when they cropped up. The same thing happened with going to the gym. I struggled stay consistent.

>. I can never really make up my mind on what's worth doing and not doing with my life.

That is hard. It is the reason why you need to start simple and work on being consistent. Being consistent will help you in all areas of your life so it doesn't matter if you chose the "right" thing to be consistent in. Pick something you know will help. Don't look for a key or magical solution. You know working out three times a week will help. Just stick to that and be consistent that you've always worked out. You can do the same thing with something simple like talking to people regularly.

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>>18454809
I think you should pick something, anything and accomplish it. It doesn't have to be big and it doesn't have to mean anything to anyone else.

You need to build yourself esteem by winning. You can pick any goal you want. I'd recommend a physical one because exercise will have a great synergistic effect on your mood.

You have to pick something and go after it. Make the goal something you can work for daily.

I went to college for close to 8 years before earning a bachelors because I didn't know what was worth it- I kept giving up and dropping out. What finally got me to graduating was deciding that it didn't matter and that the key was accomplishing something, anything was more important than accomplishing the "right" thing.

>>18453509
'models' was fucking retarded. to summarise it:

> keep asking girls out and eventually one will say yes

wwwwowwww

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>>18454860
>>18454872

I kept a journal of the long series of stupid shit I tried. Consistency and willpower was the important part but here is a list of things that "helped a little" that I did on and off. I had long streaks with some of them, I had short streaks with some of them. I kept any that I felt helped and I tried my best to never quit any of them. That consistency and struggle is what built the work ethic I have now. The same work ethic that makes me succeed and gives me confidence that I can overcome whatever happens to me.

>gym everyday
>counting calories
>drinking a gallon of water a day
>no fap
>no porn but yes fap
>talk to a stranger everyday
>talk to a stranger that was an attractive female everyday
>join a sports club (at one point I was in 3 at the same time)
>be at a bar everynight (this was when I had grown self esteem)
>study X for an hour a day
>read a book a month
>probiotic food on an empty stomach everyday
>medication everyday (started at 10 minutes, was at 45 minutes a day at its peak)
>running 3 days a week
>attending toastmasters
>Studying with atleast 1 female "friend" from each class each semester


I think its important to point out that I fucking struggled and felt completely alone in my struggles. People didn't even know why things bothered me. I'd run into what now look like normal questions and freeze. Things like - what type of music you listen to, if you have a gf, what your major is, if I'd been to the local club.

The first time I drove a group of people in my car I had a minor panic attack and managed to hide it. The first time I went to a bar with a group I freaked out before hand. I didn't know what to do or how I was suppose to act. I skipped parties I was invited to because I didn't want to ask for directions to where they were. I turned down a girl who asked me out because I didn't know what to do with her.

Worse when I stopped trying to be social and trying to improve I regressed.

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>>18454881
Sounds like we read a completely different book desu. This was the high level summary I got.

>accept yourself, fix problems that are seriously wrong if you have them
>be completely honest
>You don't want the ones running away from your honesty anyway

>>18454902
no it was more like

> dont care about what anyone thinks of you (ie sociopathic, he even says 'i know this sounds like sociopathy but its nod rly ;DD')
> ask out infinity girls and eventually one will say yes

its not really about fixing problems, more about just ignoring them. which i guess is the fabled 'confidence' everyone always talks about

>>18454942
I guess that book really pissed in your cheerios.

You can be really pissed off about tropes (confidence, dating as a numbers game) but I don't really think that those are the books fault. There is a reason why those are tropes. You can go all snowflake and decide there is a reason the same advice everyone gives to everyone doesn't apply to you but the only person you are hurting is yourself.

You can't really go into self help books to attack them if you find one thing wrong. You need to look at them more pragmatically and take the good stuff out and disregard the rest.

>>18454970
its stupid because its not actually any kind of help. asking everyone in the whole world will ofc eventually lead someone to say yes, but the point of these dating books is to not have to do that shit

i did everything all these books and this website etc. say, haircut, fitting clothes, interesting hobbies, social circle, etc. etc. still doesnt work for me, so what was the point? i would like these books a lot more if they actually did help the people who need it; they are just ego boosters for down on their luck chads

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I am a Neet how do I escape what's holding my back is my acne and overweightness

>>18455554
>Jerking off for 5 hours then touching your face
>Absolutelydisgusting.png