I'm depressed, perhaps suicidal, have constant dreams of

It could backfire, but you already know that. You have to be well nourished, and in a good mood when you take them. If something bad happens while you are tripping it's ogre, you will find yourself crying eating poison ivy in the woods with your pants full of shit.

>>18451857
I understand.

Which drug was it though LSD or shrooms?

I honestly can't remember what he said.

It definitely can help if you get in the right mindset.
I recommend doing it alone with a cat or a dog in a very clean room with a lot of flowers. The space has to be very comfortable, nobody should bother you. Mindset should be excited about it and positive. Music and all that.
Only then you will have a good experience, it will really change the way you look at life. One of the things I wrote while on LSD:
>everything just exists. And all problems people have are so futile and stupid on the eternal time-space-continuum, it is ridiculous. It doesn't matter, ever.

>>18451861
Well I had a bad trip on shrooms. Really your biggest problem will probably be finding the shit.

Pssssssh. Hallucinogens were incredibly powerful for me and rapidly evolved my perspective. Unfortunately this was at the expense of the other details that usually come with putting in the time required to gain this perspective such as patience, tolerance and empathy.

How should I put this? You know how a common theme runs throughout most heavy psychedelic encounters? Like everything is connected in some profound, but ultimately meaningless way. That everything is ok because ultimately it is all one and the same. That the passage of time is subjective and learning to let go and be part of a flow within the universe is vital to and analogous to letting go of negative aspects of yourself.

I mean, great. But sounds suspiciously like the loser nihilist talk of elderly buddhists convinced the path to enlightenment lays with reducing life to the point where you are ok with starving yourself to death on a mountain. Ok for them if they've lived a full and active live overwhelmingly packed with the typical trappings of comfort and conformism, but what if you aren't at that point yet?

The trappings and anxieties of life are what motivates us, especially while we are young. It is only when older with perspective can we flippantly shit talk these anxieties as some kind of folly of youth, forgetting that without these formative experiences we'd have never grown into the wise (lol) adults we are supposed to now be.

So great, I now know that everything is without meaning because ultimately it is all pointless and that is ok because we are connected by a weird thread that runs throughout everything like matter and time. But unfortunately I'm human and as such humanistic concerns are all that give life meaning and value and I just talked myself out of giving a shit due to 'enlightenment'.

Ever hear of masturbation?
Safer and easier that this. Could get a little messy though.

>>18451903
>he compared masturbation to psychedelics
Oh shit...

>>18451898
>Ok for them if they've lived a full and active live overwhelmingly packed with the typical trappings of comfort and conformism, but what if you aren't at that point yet?

>The trappings and anxieties of life are what motivates us, especially while we are young. It is only when older with perspective can we flippantly shit talk these anxieties as some kind of folly of youth, forgetting that without these formative experiences we'd have never grown into the wise (lol) adults we are supposed to now be.

That's a real good point.

>>18451898
I'm perhaps not putting it very well. There were a lot of positives. Such as realising that trying to take something from an experience when it is simply not there is a dishonest mental fabrication which serves no purpose except to empower others to take advantage and delay and deceive myself when it comes to getting what I claim to want.

This outcome of this means I just don't do pointless shit for the sake of pleasing others if it means lying to myself and potentially them. This has made me look like quite an ass hole and distressed quite a lot of people over the years. But fuck it because I'm not responsible for their delusion and why do I want people in my life who are going to knowingly or unknowingly try and force behaviour from me using guilt, shame and dishonesty?

Thing is, growing as individuals in the company of others, flawed or not is kind of what satisfies the urge for companionship and connection.

I place great importance on doing what I want to do because time is limited and precious and I should live life for myself. Yet giving this precious time recklessly to others shows humility and is a great gift to them. So again I'm kind of compelled to act in a way which isn't very nice to be around. Even though it would appear to be important to myself that I am social and connected to others and within a community.

That said the need for validation from others is something I've managed to rationalise as a weakness or failing on my behalf, Ultimately a negative motivation and childish insecurity likely formed as a child due to my survival at that age being connected with my ability to make others need to take care of me while having no verbal ability.

But is it actually valid? Hey ho, who cares right? Ultimately these revelations are without meaning as well.

Try it anon. See how it goes. It isn't always great to do 10 years of 'self work' in 15 hours while alone in a 'nice' room. Ego death pisses over concepts such as 'nice' as well.

>>18451853
I have experienced both depression and shrooms. If you are in a low or mixed state of mind you defenitely should wait.

About the brain altering effects, it sounds like BS. Sure, a big deep trip FEELS like a reser but probably not due to physical changes.

Stay on the safe side and YES you have lots to lose, just visit some survivors of failed suicide attempts. Brain and nerve damage is hard to live with, unimaginable.

Look over your life, sleep and eating habits ARE fucking basic stuff but easy to get wrong and to disregard. Maybe people unable to take basic needs into account just have to suffer the consequenses... Evolution and all that...

>>18451853
I would go see a psychiatrist and get on some meds. While there have been studies suggesting that hallucinogens like shrooms and lsd can have positive effects on depression and anxiety, I personally know someone who was tripping with a friend who killed themselves during the trip. He knew this person was struggling with depression and it eats him up to this day.
Find a good doc and find a medication that works for you. I'm on lexapro and it's the dank