So I've been dating this girl for over two years now. She's

>>18440145
Break it off while you still can. Thank me later.

>>18440172
She's essentially doing that for me, but still love her too much to just let her go. She says she still loves me too, but "sometimes love isn't enough", which is bullshit.

>>18440145
instead of telling her things are gonna change, do it. really and truly try extra hard. surprise her with a cute well thought out date, bring her her fav food for lunch when she's on her break at work

idk man, this is really beta but if you love her fight for her. chances are if she's willing to drop you that quickly she's already talking to some other dickhead

>>18440204
You've probably never dated someone with depression, and caring about someone you love isn't beta. Grow up.

Anything I do now is "not going to change things", because I've already tried. I'm pretty sure she's not talking to someone else, though. We've been arguing about minor shit related to the move for a month or two now, and it's starting to get close to crunch time. She tends to bottle everything up, pretend life is fine for a while, and then fucking explode at the slightest provocation.

I'm usually able to calm her down or wait it out until she's slightly less down, but this situation involves throwing a major life change into the mix. I'm pretty much at a loss now.

Try thinking of stuff she might want to do and do it. Could be something simple as taking her on a drive somewhere and just talk about random stuff. She might just be restless, girls end up being like that sometimes.

But she's got to cut you some slack. Everyone gets comfy in a relationship, so she shouldn't be holding that over your head. You're entitled to have what you want as well, it's give and take. A relationship should be 50/50, sometimes 60/40 in either direction, but always averaging 50/50.

Worst case Ontario, two years isn't very long in the grand scheme. After an adjustment period you'll have plenty of time to focus on yourself and become a better you.

>>18440239
Eh, I feel like she's just making excuses. Every problem she mentioned was trivial shit. I took her on a trip in April, she took me to a concert in May, and we also went on an offroading mini-trip later that month (she's into that sort of shit).

I don't know if she's just getting cold feet about the move or doesn't think it'll work out or if she's legit sick of me or what. Half the time, SHE doesn't even know what she wants or what would make her happy.

>>18440261
There's only so much that you can do really. If she can't figure her own shit out no one can expect you to figure it for her.

It's tough because really the solution is to talk with her and get to the bottom of what the problem is, but you also have to avoid shit getting heated and blowing up into an argument. Once we get heated, our brains shortcut to irrational shit and then we're back a few steps.

Best of luck m8y

>>18440276
>>18440276
Thanks dude.

There's no talking to a depressed person about issues without them getting heated. I've learned that from experience. Even if I stay calm, she'll still only see it her pessimistic way.

Fuck this whole situation.

>>18440145
>How the fuck did I go from "loving, happy relationship" to "let's break up" in less than a fucking week?

I have had it happen in about 2 months time. went to Hawaii and had a blast and within 2 months we broke up after 2 years of dating. People change and relationships can break apart from it.

>What the fuck do I do now?

see if you can open her up to dealing with the problems she expressed. you may have to forge ahead and try and fix things as best you can. it will be really fucking hard to pull off if she is unwilling.

>Also, she has depression.

My ex was the same way. suicidal depression for the 2 years we dated and we just couldn't get control of it especially in the last two months. Idk how bad your girls depression is but I can guess it is playing a big role in how she sees the relationship.

>I don't want to lose her.

I know your pain my man. just be ready just in case she calls you and drops the "I don't think we should date anymore or see eachother ever". I wasn't and I am still trying to sort my shit out 9 months after the fact.

>>18440145
Same thing happen to me. It went from being happy and loving to one another, to disaster. She was depressed too, possibly bipolar based on her behaviors. I left my college for the weekend to attend my girlfriend's family wedding with her. As soon as that was over and I headed back, I got yelled at over text. So then we decided to take a break for a bit. Then, not 10 minutes later, she texts me back saying that she's sorry and she still loves me. Following that, a whole lot of silence from her, and uncertainty and stress for me. I tried to get her to talk to me, I tried to affirm that I loved her, but eventually she called it off, and I haven't talked to her since. Kinda relates to your situation, although I don't really have a happy ending for you. Thing is, sometimes these things happen; sometimes it's just trivial bickering, and sometimes it's relationship ending. If you truly value your relationship, you have to fight for it, try to do all you can to fix things (To a point, obviously. Don't go too far and sacrifice all of who you are) . But whichever way it goes, just realize that life goes on, and if you are meant to be with your current gf, you will be; if not, then not so much. Life goes on, and as harsh as it may seem, (trust me, my breakup fucked up my life for a good half year or more) you'll move on eventually.

>>18440317
>see if you can open her up to dealing with the problems she expressed
She's basically in the "there is no solution" stage. Even when I offer solutions, it's all "things will still never change". It's like reason doesn't apply here.

>My ex was the same way
I'm sorry to hear that, man. It's a lot to fucking deal with. My girl isn't quite that bad, but it's pretty bad. It plays a huge role. We've had arguments before that she's apologized for later just because she flew off the handle.

>just be ready just in case she calls you and drops the "I don't think we should date anymore
She didn't come out & say it directly, but that's basically where we're at now. I left before we got to that point, and I just told her that it wasn't goodbye, it was just goodnight. We hugged, she cried, we hugged more, and I left.

It doesn't bode well for me that you're still dealing with it 9 months later. I'm on month 0 right now. Fuck my life.

>>18440325
That sucks, dude. No one should have to deal with that shit. You did nothing wrong and got fucked over for it. This world is bullshit.

>>18440358
>It's like reason doesn't apply here.

Yeah depression does that. You could have a solid plan that would really help the relationship but they'll feel as if it is too late and not commit. Shit sucks but depression does that.

> It's a lot to fucking deal with
Yeah I know the stress from the relationship really fucked me up. I can't handle lots of stress so I get angry and snappy which only made her depression worse. I would recommend maybe trying a counselor or couples counselor as they can allow you or your girl to vent to a third party.

>It doesn't bode well for me that you're still dealing with it 9 months later. I'm on month 0 right now. Fuck my life.

the general rule for recovery from a failed relationship is the total time/2. so for 2 years it will take roughly a year to come to terms with. and that varies person to person. some people bounce back really well and others need time to cope and deal with the situation.

I have to be honest that even though I am sad and wish she'd call me I have never been so stress free in the past 2-3 years. Like I can't remember when I felt this free of stress it's been so long. I dated her in college and the combo of school + her depression was murder. Now I just have work and I go home and de-stress from work easily since I don't have to worry about her and the relationship.

I will give a tip since breakups hurt and it took me forever:

talk to your friends. they will help you. if you don't have any then go and do anything that forces you to be out of the house.

create goals for yourself. learn new hobbies, explore the town, exercise. basically challenge yourself and use these challenges to improve yourself or find who you are.

also I recommend a no contact. it hurts but I know every time I unblock my ex and see her I get sick thinking of all the shit we did or could have been. It's better to just cut that pain out.

>>18440423
Thanks, man. Unfortunately, I'm a little bit older, and most of my friends are married and busy having kids or whatever stupid shit married people do. I've been down this road a bunch of times, but never with someone I've cared about so much. I wish she could just see that.

>>18440471

>I wish she could just see that.

sometimes they just don't see it man. but if that's the case then fuck them go out and find the person that will value you.

We'll all make it one day. I wish you the best senpai.