I'm a pretty good guy, why am I still a kissless virgin

Because you aren't a pretty good guy

>>18436629
how do you know that

Because being a "nice guy" doesn't make you good or attractive. Because real men take chances, not shy away from them and choose the safest routes. Because everyone likes a confident alpha, not a cowardly beta. Because you haven't taken the red pill yet and see reality for what it is.

>>18436657
i take chances in that im wasting my life away

>>18436657
also, why do you get to choose what makes someone a "real man"?

I've done things I found very difficult, and just because I haven't achieved as much as you might have doesn't mean I haven't gone through as much difficulty in my life as you have.

>>18436622

Anon, ignore all of the meme logic on here.

How many girls have you tried kissing in your life?

>>18436692
thats just translates as youre a fuckup. just do it

>>18436710
ive never really tried kissing anyone

i know that it doesn't really make sense to expect being kissed without trying, but i've been on a couple dates and it never seemed like it would have been a natural thing to do

>>18436721
just do what
im a fuckup because of things out of my control, and even if i put as much effort into my life as you have i wouldn't be where you are.
how can you judge me, asshole?

i'm 18 i'll be glad to fuck you if you happen to live in ohio or surrounding areas

>>18436723

I understand that, but people on a date, especially the first one are usually awkward and nervous, not just you.

One person has to be the leader, so to speak. When I was a teenager, I would initiate touching by doing flirtatious things like bumping into the girl I was with, or pushing her playfully, or tapping on her opposite shoulder. Just playful things. This would usually get us both giggly and happy feeling, then that would lead to holding hands, and then when the date was over when you're saying bye or goodnight, you slow the mood down, hold her, cuddle, whatever, kiss her on the forehead, see how she reacts, and kiss her on the mouth.

Depending how aggressive you are, you can get full on make out sessions on a first date. If you haven't kissed anyone, it isn't anything inherently wrong with you. It is just something you have to learn. I didn't have my first kiss until sixteen, and it was a lot of trial and error.

I can give you more tips, if you'd like. Just whatever you do, don't fall for redpill bullshit, or people insulting you. Those people are autistic as fuck.

>>18436622
Stop posting ab this everyday you faggot. How is this solving your solution you worthless plastic shit.

>>18436726
>things out of my control
>implying such a thing exists for a man
You have such a defeatist, cucklike attitude. Complaining about people being better than you, complaining about being a kissless virgin and in the same breath admitting you've never tried, all around I fucking hate complaining in general. I can judge you all I want based on that alone.

>>18436745
>>implying such a thing exists for a man
are you literally retarded?
how does someone control everything

and i never said i never tried.

literally learn how to read english

>>18436740
i've only posted threads on here once or twice before, and it was a long time ago

>>18436692
>Why do you get to choose what makes someone a "real man"?
I don't. Actually, the part about "real men" was a slight exaggeration of an expression, and it's way too general a concept, though my point still stands when it comes to some specifics, such as how to be attractive to women in particular.

Since you seem like you're beginning to get it, here I'll try to break it to you, and you in particular, how to get girls.

Do you feel pissed off when someone talks down to you? Keep that pissed off feeling going. Remember how you talked back to me just now? Do it again and again and more importantly, do it IRL as well. Practice with the thought that you deserve to be treated better and you will do what you think is right. Of course you'll still have to conform to social norms, but acting a bit crazy occasionally to show how you really think and feel can be what shows your confidence as a man.

Step out of your comfort zone. Don't think too hard about things, set a certain limit for thinking until you have to put it into actions. Being scared is fine, you don't have much experience with relationships after all, but don't let it stop you from trying.

[cont]

>>18436763
>how does someone control everything
People who got lucky and were born with or into things that let them succeed like to pretend everyone is completely in control of everything in life so that they can tell themselves they earned the things they were born with.

>>18436774
[cont]

How to get girls? I can't help you with the specifics, but keep in mind just this one thing: Chicks dig confidence.
If you're not satisfied with who you are right now and don't think people will desire your current self, try improving it.
If you are already confident enough, go talk to girls. It's okay to be clumsy at first, everyone is like that, and as with anything else, you're gonna need some practice. (Whether you'll keep going until you get some skills and feel comfortable enough to do it naturally, or you'll shy away because talking to women is too difficult, is the deciding factor here.)

The attitude you have is very, very important. If you're not confident, it shows. People are naturally drawn to confident and happy people. Also, don't whine or complain too often. Whining doesn't make anyone attractive, taking steps to solve problems does. (This doesn't mean you should be afraid to show your insecurities, though. Talk about your problems with an attitude of trying to resolve them and working on yourself, not for the sake of complaining.)

Ask me if you have any questions.

>>18436763
>never said I never tried

>>18436723
>ive never really tried

Yes there are things you can't "control". But you can't treat it that way. That just leads to more things out of your control.

>>18436739
What do you mean redpill bs lol
Admittedly a lot of those are broscience but they are still general knowledge in condensed form, don't just go discredit all of it just like that. I find it kind of ironic that you're criticizing some generalization by generalizing it yourself.

OP, you just need to put yourself out there more. Lots of girls are cool with non confident people. It certainly helps but it's not your doom. It really sounds like you're just waiting for a romance to fall into your lap. You have to work for it, and once you're in a relationship you have to keep working and do your best. It doesn't sound like you're doing your best to meet a nice girl. Try a dating site or meet people and stop going home immediately after work and going on 4chan.

>>18436822
stop making assumptions about me anon

>>18436780
What do you do when you fall into the self-improvement hamster wheel?

>>18436723
Think about it like getting a job, why would expect to get one if you aren't trying to get one? You're only ever going to get a kiss if you pursue it, even if it means asking politely after a date "i had fun, can i kiss you"? You have to actively pursue things you want.

>>18436796

Not really. It is all meme logic. Have you ever seen the movie Grease? There is a scene where John Travolta is talking about how he banged this girl over the summer (he didn't.) and lo and behold the girl shows up at school and his voice gets all squeaky.

What I'm saying is that the way guys really interact with girls, and the way they boast about it with their buddies in the locker room are two different things.

What women want really isn't that confusing or mean spirited. Women don't want to be treated meanly. Women don't want to be cheated on. They want to be treated kindly and with respect. So why does it seem like girls go for assholes? Well, because those are the guys who know how to manipulate a girls desires. They feed them full of compliments and flowers and kind gestures, they get what they want (sex) then they break up. But, by that time the girl is so enamored that she just wants the good feelings back.

So, for OP, how would I suggest getting your first kiss? Talk to a lot of girls (but don't let them know you're talking to a lot of girls.), take them out on dates, tell them they're pretty, hold their hand, and go in for a kiss. There really is no "right" time, you just kind of go for it.

>>18436824
People are trying to help you, and this is your attitude.

Maybe not all of the advices given are good and correct, but a little bit of appreciation and respect doesn't hurt.

Since you don't even give us enough information, of course some assumptions have to be made. And those are based on observations of how you talk and what you said about yourself, so not completely baseless and incorrect after all.

Do you need advices or not? What are you here for? Your ego is getting in the way of your learning and it should stop. Have you even considered the previous responses? Why are you only responding, with a negative attitude, to the responses that seem to offend you (while clearly are just trying to help)?

So many questions, only one problem. And that problem is your attitude. Fix it first before we continue talking.

>>18436844
>Self-improvement hamster wheel
What do you mean exactly?

>>18436848
You've got so many things wrong I don't even know where to begin. If you're interested I could elaborate. We can have a few exchanges if you like, but I don't think you've figured out women like you think just yet. Admittedly it's much simpler than most people tend to believe, but there's a bit more to it than what you seem to think.

>>18436848
Also, I don't really care much for the specifics you mentioned (everyone does it differently, and I get that those are just a means of examples), but I do agree with the notion that There is no "right" time for it, you just do it. This is why confidence is so important, because sometimes it's just a matter of do or don't.

>>18436856
that post was from someone i knew and i was pretending they didnt know me when I said that


anyway, this was a drunk rant thread and I didn't expect or maybe didn't even want serious discussion to come out of it

>>18436856
I'm a woman and I agree with what the poster said. He just needs to buck up and actually make a move. I do agree with your first bit about taking advice though. This is really shit posty instead of exchanging ideas.

>>18436856
I've been "improving myself" for years now. I was fat so I lost weight and started going to the gym. I have shitty skin so I started buying and using products. I try to buy nice clothes that fit me, I'm learning to draw etcetera.

Yet I still feel totally inadequate and that no woman would ever get anything from being with me. I just find more stuff to work on which overwhelms me and just makes me feel like no matter what I do I'll never be good enough. That's why I said hamster wheel, I spin harder and it just spins harder but I don't move anywhere.

I just don't see how to be confident.

>>18436890
how many moves did you make

>>18436902
All of them. I even proposed. However he did make the first move in discussing having our daughter and our first kiss.

>>18436913
no i mean, with how many different people before it worked

>>18436920
A lot of trial and error, sometimes even if it worked we didn't like each other or we weren't compatible. I went on a few dates and wasn't even interested in kissing them, some I did happily. You just have to ask.

Honestly why the fuck did I even make this thread, what a fucking waste of time.


Yeah yeah yeah, put yourself out there, ask girls out, etc, I've heard it a million times.

Sorry for wasting your guy's time but I'm just going to continue living exactly as I normally do. Sometimes jealous of other people's success, but mostly not even trying to think about it because I don't have the confidence or self esteem to reproduce it.

Who knows, maybe I'll even go on another date in a month or two when I don't have such a low opinion of myself.

>>18436901
I think I see your problem now. You seem to be "improving yourself" superficially. What I mean is, you are not really improving yourself for your sake, I mean you kind of do, it you don't feel happy and content with yourself. It is not something you particularly enjoy, maybe you do but you kind of see it as a chore.

Another thing is you are putting yourself below other people. This is often a result from the fact that you do not love yourself as much as you should. Self-confidence can be said to be just your perception of self and how much you like yourself.

If you need reassurance, from an outsider perspective you seem like quite an alright dude already. You worked out, you lost weight, you spent decent time and effort on improving yourself. You have interesting hobbies (you do, right?) and certainly you have many things you can be proud of. Why not start taking more pride in those? Please realize that while you are not as good as many people (which is usually just how you perceived it), you have done enough that you are better than many who didn't even try.

There is no hamster wheel, it's just in your mind. You think you'll never be good enough for people, but what you really need is to be good enough for you. Improving yourself for your own sake and nobody else. If you're making an effort to do that, I say that's a good enough a reason to be proud.

There are many things that come after, like how to date girls, how to handle relationships, how to avoid messy dramas, and many sticky situations (it's a lot more trouble than it's worth usually, though it can be fun), ecetera.
HOWEVER, those all rely on one prerequisite condition and I think tackling this problem is what you should be focusing on right now: your general attitude.

Learn to love yourself, anon, and others will come to love you.

>>18436979
>>18436963
Sorry it this sounds both corny and cheeky, but confidence is still key, and the key to gaining confidence is practice and practice on facing your fears every day.

Nobody can help you with that, it's up to you now.

Good luck.

>>18436979
The post about losing weight and hamster wheels and stuff was not me (OP). I never really tried to improve myself as much as just doing stuff I enjoyed doing.

>>18436995
Then there you have it. Start trying to improve yourself and stop worrying about useless stuff.

>>18437041
I only worry about useless stuff when I decide to get drunk. Most of the time I don't worry about this shit.
Thanks for the inspiration

I know that feel anon, I'm also 27, wealthy, goodlooking tall blue eue blonde hair Aryan guy yet still a KHV touchless dateless. Girls just aren't drawn to me, they never were and I will just accept that. Maybe if some miracle happens and a nice girl likes me I'll go for it. But I'm not going to keep trying to only fail.

>>18436979
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy working out, having better skin and I particularly love drawing since I've always liked to retreat into beautiful images, so being able to portray things I see in my mind is a dream. But there is something that weighs me down more than anything and it's being a virgin. I'm 24 years old and I just feel completely stunted and inadequate for intimacy. It's just so overwhelming for me. How am I supposed to learn at 24 years old what other people are experiencing since 15 years old?

It just makes me feel faulty. I understand there might be a few things I'm good at, but what good is it if I'm a fuckup and a social failure at heart?

>>18437086
It's alright anon I know you can do it. Good luck.

>>18437117
Big mistake you're committing there buddy. You give up because you think it's hopeless. It isn't. You're just scared of rejection and embarrassment and disappointments. The difference between you and the confident alphas is that while you stop at a little amount of hardships, whine and try again when you are tired of staying in the same place but giving up soon after, rinse and repeat, the other people choose to stand their grounds and push through to the end.

It's ultimately your decision, anon.

>>18437121
Haha you're in for a surprise how much one can learn at 24 years old. I've been refraining from talking about myself when giving advices to others, but I guess in this case this can prove to be more helpful than not.

Believe it or not, I was still a virgin until last Christmas. I was a social outcast. I didn't know how to talk to girls. Insecure and depressed and all that (depression is something that comes back in episodes and have been haunting me for the last decade, though I've been making steps to improve my condition), and I hated myself and my existence. Needless to say, I didn't have the confidence I have now.

That was before I learned to love myself.
Specifically, how to channel my energy that was up till then used to lament myself instead of improving things, to take better care of myself, and appreciate what I've done and have been trying to do.

Some amounts of self-appreciation can take you a long way.

Most importantly, I changed my way of thinking. I went from a suicidal, defeatist attitude to actually making serious attempts to change my life for the better. You know what's important? It's not the results of my efforts (I started working out, applying for jobs, going out more, talking with people more, having new hobbies that I genuinely enjoy), but the attitude I choose to have whether I get any results or not. I thought to myself, heck if I'm gonna die anyway, I might as well give it my best shot. I talked to myself a lot (I still talk to myself occasionally now) and I figured a few things out. One of the most important things is, if I've put in my best efforts, then I should have no regrets. One related thing is, I learned to let go of the things I cannot control.

Hmm this is getting lengthy, so I'll get to the point.

You're in a mental state where you feel defeated by life and just want to complain. I get that. Everyone feels like that sometimes, some feel it for longer than most.

[cont]

>>18437122
Ok but what if I'm actually ugly?

>>18437121
>>18437153
[cont]

And I'm telling you, it's okay to feel that way. It's okay to complain. It's okay to let it all out. In fact, you should let it all out. You'll feel better afterwards.

Just don't dwell on it forever. Remember that there are things you cannot control, but there are things you can do. What you choose to do is ultimately your choice and nobody else. Be glad you at least have that freedom.

Another problem I noticed, is that you compare yourself with others too much. Realize that this isn't doing you any good, and stop. Focus on yourself more. Realize that most people do not care that much about you or what you think, just how you choose to interact with them. Everyone goes at their own pace and you should, too. Every time you get insecure and feel that you are useless and no matter what you do it doesn't matter, remind yourself that everyone feels the same way at some point in their life, and it's normal.

One tip off the top of my head, is when you know people are facing the same problem, you can try helping them. It'll also help you feel better about yourself and help you gain confidence.

You are not faulty and you are not "a fuckup and a social failure at heart." You just like to think that. Okay, let's assume you actually are. And let's assume that >>18437164 you are hella ugly as well. What's the problem anyway?

No, not asking that sarcastically. Ask yourself what the problem really is. Once you know the problem, start working on it if you can. If you really can't do anything about it, then it can't be helped. Stop worrying about it.

Anon, it's just the attitude you choose to take on that matters.

>>18437117
well it is poss grills are attracted mostly to intellectually compliant happy go lucky drones so if you think anything outside the box they'l think "oh he so negative eugh"

t. old dude

>>18436726
You sound like you gave up. Never ever pitty yourself for longer than a day. Its not only unattractive, it will also lead you absolutely nowhere.

>>18437168
>What's the problem anyway?
Are you saying physical unattractiveness is not a setback

>>18437168
It's just, I do realize I have to change my attitude, but I don't know HOW. I am a very logical person, I can't just go "well I am great" when I obviously am not.

External validation doesn't work because it's short lived and crushing when it's removed, and internal validation eludes me.

Let's assume l was indeed a worthy person. How would I even go about knowing it? How would I just think: "I am worthy"?

I am clearly not, it's just there: I can't socialize, I missed the entire period of my life that teaches you to socialize and interact with the opposite sex, and all that is left is a stunted man child that lifts things up and puts them down.

My entire point is that I just have no idea how to change my mindset. The fake it till you make it think never worked with me, deep down I'll always know I'm faking it.

>>18437218
You're thinking too much about things. Stop. Start doing something proactive and productive and focus on it.

>>18437195
Did you even read the full text?

If you know being physically unattractive is your problem, then start working on it. If it is impossible to do anything more about it, stop worrying about it and work on something else. How long are you going to sit around doing nothing but whine about how pathetic you are? That achieves absolutely nothing.

>>18437289
>then start working on it.
I'm getting /fit/ but I can't change my face and that's the most important thing, you're telling me I should stop caring about the main element that defines a person's attractiveness?

>>18436622
You're ugly, bro. Just like me.
Unfortunately for men, "unattractive" physical features are impossible to fix.

>>18437303
So you're saying:
1. You can't do anything about your face
2. You keep caring about it anyway

First off, if #1 is true, then don't do #2. So yes I am definitely saying that you should top caring about the main element that defines a person's attractiveness, if that's how you like to put it, because caring about it doesn't change the fact anyway.

Secondly, we don't know if #1 is true yet. Have you tried everything in your power? Tried skin products? Make-up? Change your hairstyles? At least make an attempt to practice to have better facial expressions? There are plenty of things that affect people's impression of your face, even if it is naturally horribly ugly. You know what, anon, why not show us what you look like? Chances are you just don't have a very good impression of yourself thanks to the low self-esteem, so you might not look as bad as you think you do.

>>18437303
>>18437534
Furthermore, you're saying it as if the face is the single most important factor for men's attractiveness. It's called physical attractiveness, not facial handsomeness. You know what else is physical? Your entire body. Your posture. The way you move, the way you talk. Don't tell me you've only ever looked at a woman's face to determine how attractive she is. Don't you talk with her, walk with her and learn about her personality? Hey what about her tits and dat booty? Truth be told, the face is probably more important to girls than guys. It's likely much easier for an ugly guy to get a hot gf than for an ugly girl to get a hot bf. Now stop whining like a bitch about something you can't change while you have a ton of things you can spend that energy working on. You know what else makes a person unattractive? Acting like a bitch.

>>18437281
I am, I just listed all the things I've done.

The only thing I'm remotely proud of is my stretch marks because they show I was a fatass and not anymore.

File: 1491390591676.png (865KB, 1095x519px) Image search: [Google]

865KB, 1095x519px

>>18437630
>Make-up
My skin is fine, I guess I fucked up on the hairstyle though.
>Chances are you don't have a very good impression of yourself
I really don't think that's true given the babyface (I'm 19) + happy merchant nose.

You're right though I should probably stop caring

>>18437800
you look fine. if youre seriously worried you could lose some weight which would make your face more angular.

the main problem is your lack of confidence

>>18436622
>be 24
>at least a 6 or 7 out of 10
>Polite, hard working, honest, go out of my way to help people
>Don't talk or smile much
What am I doing wrong?

>>18438052
So I'm like average? I've been working to lose weight yeah
>your lack of confidence
I'll work on that too

Because no one told you in your formative years that if you are a man you have to do EVERYTHING when it comes to relationships. You can't just be a likeable person and expect things to come to you. You have to be likeable and do all the work too.

>>18438129
youre pretty average, yeah, but people like big bushy eyebrows and you have big eyes as well which people like.
if you figure out how to dress right you have nothing to worry about

>>18438145
Cool, thanks man

You're not chad, that's literally it

Because you think it takes effort to be a good person.

Give someone a reason to want you, lift for the iron gods, read a book, fuck do anything but stop thinking just because you've done good all your life you deserve something in return.

>>18436622
I lost my virginity at 28. You still have time.

>>18438337
How come you lost it so late?

>>18438337
Fuckin hell! I thought I had it bad at losing mine at 20 years old. Shit man!

>>18436622

Let me put it this way.

If you found someone lying on the street dying, and told everyone "I know what to do! I'm not a doctor, but I'm a good guy! I'm going to start mouth-to-mouth" everyone would want to tell you to fuck off because you have no idea what you're doing.

Being good isn't going to get you anywhere. It's what you do with your goodness.

Being a decent person isn't enough, there are a lot of decent people out there, so what? What else do you offer? Are you interesting to hang around? Do you have interesting things to say/do? Why should someone commit to getting to know you better?

>>18438910
why do normies always repeat stupid analogies they've heard before

>>18438957
This shit doesn't matter as well. interesting not interesting, if she feels tingles she will fuck you, if not then your behaviour is shit, go change it
Simples

>>18438965
Because without them r9k virgins don't understand the meaning of the message.

>>18438957
plenty of bad people have relationships too you know

>>18438975
Those "bad people" at least have interesting personalities or at least a semblance of a personality, other than, "Look at me my name is Jim and I'm just a nice guy"

>>18436963
>Yeah yeah yeah, put yourself out there, ask girls out, etc, I've heard it a million times.
> I'm just going to continue living exactly as I normally do

So people tell you what to do, you don't do it, and then come back and say that what you've been doing doesn't work? When do you plan on breaking this cycle exactly?

>>18438965
Because you permavirgins need to wake up.

>>18438968
if you're not interesting then she's not going to feel the fucky tingles

>>18439010
if i've heard it before why would hearing it again change my mind?

are you fucking stupid or something

>>18439005

i made this thread when i was drunk and i honestly don't even know why at this point, it was pretty stupid.

i dont normally complain about my life because i don't put in any effort to fix it, maybe i would if i had any belief in my ability to make it better

>>18439065
>>18439072

Starting to realize why you're a permavirgin.

Become an alcoholic because apparently that's the only time you have balls

>>18439156
lol
>>18439160
probably true but no thanks

>>18436778
This is such a shit attitude. Everyone has the same opportunities, yes, some people have to work harder than others. Yes hard work doesn't always mean success, but they key word is opportunity, and you can't be in the running for one without hard work. If everyone got a fucking Ferrari for working in McDonalds then would anyone bother trying to better technologies or the world? If you think "the man has his thumb on your neck" then you're too fucking lazy to be successful.

>>18438957
So explain how you become interesting.

>>18439364
By doing interesting things.

>>18436634
because you say shit like this

"I haven't tried kissing anyone." "Why am I a kissless virgin?" Seems like you answered your own question, bud. Ask someone out and after a few or so fun dates lean in. If she shys away, oh well, that's the risk I had to take.

I prefer a setting we're both comfortable in, like either of our houses or a quiet street on a sunny day. Worked both times for me

>>18438957
Dammit, why do men have to be interesting? Women don't have to do this shit.

https://youtu.be/luzcQg6wDsk

>>18440524
lol ok
>>18440549
i dont have a house

not physically trying to kiss someone does not mean i've put in zero effort into being in a situation where it could happen

>>18440949
thank you for posting something useful

>>18437800
south european jimmy norton