How do I stop being so nice and compliant? Its gotten me nowhere

>>18433840
Why would you change being nice to others?
Seems like a good feature

this is probably just a distortion you're having due to the fact you're upset, maybe depressed and frustrated

>>18433840
Being nice to people doesn't carry any negative consequences, being mean to people can carry very negative social consequences. Especially if you're mean for no reason besides to be mean, then people will just think you're an asshole and not like you.

the words you're looking for is doormat vs assertive. not standing up for yourself has nothing to do with being "nice".

>>18433982
You basically hit the nail in the head. I'm a complete doormat and don't want to be anymore. I do want to be more assholish as well though, mainly because bitterness is just piling up on me and I need an outlet.

So, how can I be more assertive/more of an asshole?

>>18434017
assertive is DEFINITELY not related to being an asshole at all. it is, however, highly desireable.

i would strongly advice you against trying to be "assholish", especially because "the bitternes is piling on". what would that accomplish? people would treat you like assholes in return, which would fuel your bitternes further. do you see bitternes as a goal you want to work towards? does it seem like something enjoyable to you?

being assertive allows you to get respect and fair treatment without being an asshole. it's the superior way to go from every angle.

not being able to stand up for yourself usually stems from an inherent fear of not being worth standing up for. iow, you don't think you deserve to be respected and heard. you really need to get a grip at that or it will eat you up from inside.

can you give me an example of a situation where you felt you were being treated unfairly but didn't dare to speak up? i wsnt to show you what kind of reaction wiuld have been assholish and what would have been assertive.

>>18434037
I am basically a societal cuck. I work, aim to please people and in exchange people take credit for my work and exclude me from society. So yes I'd rather be a cunt. In fact I'd really just like to be a fucking cunt to everybody, but it doesn't seem to be in my nature.

Either way, an example. Boss needs presentation made, do it for him, upper boss says it's really well made, boss takes credit. Bear in mind I'm just a shitty intern.

>>18434130
well, if you're talking about unfair treatment in clear hierarchy, things get more difficult than with people that are on eye level with you.
now it depends on what you want to achieve. can you afford to lose that job? it could very well be that an assertive reaction to such a situation gains you high respect with your boss. he might value someone who dares to speak up, greatly. problem is, most bosses don't. they want their subordinates to just keep silent and do what they're told. so you standing up for yourself might not be greeted with joy. which doesn't mean you shouldn't. just be prepared to deal with the consequences.

the doormat way would be to just do nothing.

the asshole way to react would probably be passive agressive behaviour, iow trying to harm your boss without facing him.

the assertive way would be to straight up tell him that you found his behaviour unprofessional and that you think one should give credit where it's due.


your example made me remind a book called "the 48 laws of power". it even advises people to take credit for other people's work... so that might be what you're looking for if you're genuinely going to go the "asshole" route.
here's a link that covers all 48 "laws".

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/48-laws-power-robert-greene-joost-elffers-ratna-sharma