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I'm female. The last time I developed a crush/had feelings

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I'm female. The last time I developed a crush/had feelings for a guy was when I was 17, and that crush lasted for 3 years (he didn't like me back so obviously nothing happened)

I'm 26 now. How come I can't develop feelings for guys anymore? I used to get crushes all the time as a teenager. I've never had a relationship because obviously I can't develop feelings for anyone.
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>>18433558
How are you health wise, mentally and physically?
Lets rule those out first
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>>18433571
I'm fine in all three aspects, no major issues.
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>>18433558
The problem is you. Force yourself to go out, meet people. Maybe you're just meant to be alone
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>>18433620
I go out all the time and meet people. I never develop feelings for them though.
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>>18433558
Do you even want a relationship?
What kind of crush are we talking about? Are you more attracted to appearances or personality?

did you ever date or confess your feelings?
Do you feel insecure in any way?

The horizon is too broad to give you an answer.
Do you want a family at all? What are you looking for? If your just walking around for a "love at first sight" kinda deal, it wont happen since you arent a retarded teenager anymore.
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>>18433660
Yes I want a relationship

The crushes I had were incredibly intense, like the world was over because they didn't like me kind of intense, feeling like you were going to throw up all the time, feeling dizzy and with butterflies in your stomach, thinking about the person all day every day for YEARS.

I've never been on a date but I did confess my feelings a few times.

I feel insecure yes, but I think that's normal in women.

I don't want a family. I want a loving relationship.
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>>18433558
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>>18433667
You skipped mentioning what you are attracted too.

If i had to guess, I would say that you're over those teen years of being madly in love because desperately wanting affection, so you want a specific kind of personality.

You arent going to have those butterflies or that kind of yearning for someone untill you discover that trait your looking for, the love/ dedication/ whatever it is you really desire deep down.

So even if you aren't immediately attracted to someone, if their looks are good enough for you, start dating.
You may find after the first couple dates something will click.

Its not that you're incapable. You just wont find that thing that makes your heart throb till you push things a little further down the road.
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>>18433685
I like incredibly intelligent guys who give you the impression that no one else out there is like them. As for physically, I'm not too fussy as long as they're very masculine looking.

I wouldn't know how to get a date except for online.
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>>18433697
Online can work.
If you want a "how to" on how to date people, im not the guy to go too. My relationship went from friend online to ldr to moving in together to hitched.

Regardless, being a woman, you have the advantage.
Good luck anon.
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>>18433697
Are you, like, a demisexual?
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>>18433726
According to the definition I just googled no, because I never had a strong emotional connection with the guys I had crushes on.
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>>18433729
I browse /adv/ to try and be more empathetic and understanding (undo the autism that 4chan gave me in the first place kek) but I just don't understand these kinds of problems. Like, if you want a relationship why not just go out and meet someone you like and develop feelings?
If you're a decade on from usual time to start dating/being sexual and you haven't acted on the desire to be with anyone, is it not possible you're more interested in the fairytale guys you make up in your mind than a real bf?
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Welcome to the adult life, where you realize that romanticized love is mostly bullshit.

Now don't get me wrong, most people still have crushes in their 20s and beyond, they just tend to be rarer and less intense. You won't spend days on end agonizing over one person because, you know, now you have more important stuff to agonize over. You have responsibilities, you have to take care of yourself and all that. There's only so many fucks you can give and as an adult you have a lot more things to give a fuck about.

If you really want to get crushes again you have to put yourself in the same mindset you had when you were a teenager. "I have no responsibilities, tomorrow doesn't matter and I have no goals other than finding my prince charming." Something along these lines.

But of course, you don't really need to have a crush in order to get a good relationship. Having a crush is not the only way to create affection, it will also come with normal interaction, experience and time. A relationship is not really something that falls into your lap, like a crush, it's something you have to work for.
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>>18433558
do you even socialize with people anymore? respect other humans?

What were your crushes based on? looks, intelligence, combination of things?

>>18433667
Honestly it's normal for almost every one, but the biggest difference is how quickly people get over it or handle it.
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you are not supposed to, you should be conquered and fall for that man doing the courting

nowadays thats not in fashion since women are acting like men causing young numales to become sissy boys being picked up by women
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>>18433737
> Like, if you want a relationship why not just go out and meet someone you like and develop feelings?

But they have to like you back, and in my case that's never happened.

>you haven't acted on the desire to be with anyone

I have. I pursued guys, I confessed my feelings, I go out and socialise and meet people in the hopes that I might find a boyfriend, but it hasn't happened for me

>>18433738
Ok so how am I supposed to develop a relationship with someone if developing feelings for them isn't something that's likely to happen?

>>18433739

Yes I socialise a lot. Much more than I did when I was a teenager.

My crushes were mostly based on intelligence and personality.
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>>18433773
What do you look like? I find it hard to believe that even a 4/10 grill who's been looking for a bf wouldn't've found one by 26.
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>>18433779
Over the years I've looked very different, my weights gone up and down drastically, my hair has been different lengths and styles, I usually don't wear makeup because I have good skin so I don't need it
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>>18433773
I didn't say you can't develop feelings for them, quite the opposite. Not having crushes doesn't mean you can't have feelings for someone.

Look at your friends, you care about them, right? But it's not because you have some sort of platonic crush on them, it's because you spent time with them, you talked, you shared things you had experiences together. Well you can "build" romantic feelings in the same way.

Many successful relationships start with 2 people who don't love each other, just kinda like each other. The feelings come with time and experience.
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>>18433800
I just call romantic feelings of any kind as a 'crush'.

There's no one that I just 'kinda like' either.
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>>18433697
>I'm not too fussy as long as they're very masculine looking
lol
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>>18433812
Yea because in today's feminist gay world, wanting a guy who actually looks masculine is pretentious shit

gg world
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>>18433812
That's not difficult
plenty of masculine looking guys are ugly or average at best, see /soc/ /fit/ or /r9k/
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>>18433812
...Is wanting a woman to look feminine also a "lol", anon?
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>>18433812
>>18433773
maybe just allow people more than initial opportunities for you to crush on them... not every one is on top of their game all the time
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>>18433558
how the hell are we supposed to answer this for you? can you even begin to imagine? a psychologist would have a *remote* chance of helping you, but the only person who can really answer this for you is yourself. I don't understand people who don't understand the workings of their own mind. what a way to be lost.
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>>18433803
Well you said you like manly looking, smart, unique guys. If you met someone like that wouldn't you "kinda like" him?

Point is, you can't expect to fall in love with someone before being in a relationship with them. It's just not realistic in today's world. Most of the things that make us develop feelings are things we do in a relationship.
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>>18433870
>If you met someone like that wouldn't you "kinda like" him?

No I'd be head over heels in love with him

I've managed to fall in love with people without being in a relationship with them. But you're saying only teenagers can do that?
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>>18433902
No, I'm saying teenagers are the ones who usually do that. It's not about the age, really, it's about the mentality. This kind of feeling is much harder to evoke in someone who's stressed, worried, jaded and disillusioned. And these days most adults are all of these things.
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>>18433912
Being an adult sucks I guess.
Thread posts: 32
Thread images: 3


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