I recently broke up with the person I thought would finally make

>BPD
You mean that thing that doesn't exist?

>>18430705
Other people can't make you happy. You know this if you've spent one day in therapy. You may have been happy spending time with this person which is normal. If your BPD is causing enough issues to get in the way of your relationships, you need to get that under control. It sounds harsh or mean but you can't expect a normal person to sacrifice a normal life just because you have issues. It's different if you acquire an illness after you are married to someone but this is not the case here. I'm not bipolar but I do suffer from clinical depression. When it flairs up unexpectedly, I do my best to insulate my wife from it. It's not her problem it's mine.

>>18430705
>BPD
Yeah, you can forget about love.

>the person who would finally make me happy

dropped. don't rely on outside sources for happiness. that's pretty stupid.

First you gotta heal from the breakup. Think of it like you're starting to date yourself and your "other self" has got some serious baggage from the last relationship. You're a new person outside of a partnership.

You might be inclined to date again or try replicating the emotional connection that came from the last relationship, you'll learn these attempts are futile; Tinder, dating sites, bars, one night stands, porn, etc.

Next is to begin focusing on yourself and work on negative thought patterns. Slowly replace unproductive habits with better ones. The energy you use in focusing on one thing can be transferred to basically whatever you want. Your self worth can come from a goal, like making music, a career decision, acting, volunteering.

Somewhere you need to watch negative thoughts. This one seems like the hardest but it just takes some time. If you obsessed over a past love, make. An effort to shut out those thoughts day by day. Catching yourself missing an ex on day and then deciding to end the thought by drawing will lead to you waking up tomorrow with fewer thoughts of that person.

As for finding new love? Simply do not worry about this. There will be opportunities that will come in all shapes and sizes that'll lead them straight to you. I do not believe actively persuing romantic interests is a healthy way to a healthy relationship. I also do not believe it creates more opportunities for yourself but more problems. Think of it this way:

Developing skills to attract someone vs developing skills to improve your self worth. Skills to attract someone will be completely dependant on external validation from other people. Self worth is different.

You want both external and internal validation. It's a balance but internal validation will come first and go further while your stock in external validation should be minimal.

>>18430766
Thank you, this seems to be the only helpful answer

>>18430766
>As for finding new love? Simply do not worry about this. There will be opportunities that will come in all shapes and sizes that'll lead them straight to you. I do not believe actively persuing romantic interests is a healthy way to a healthy relationship. I also do not believe it creates more opportunities for yourself but more problems.
This is the fast track to dying alone, unless you're a super-Chad

>>18430731
Why, anon, that is very helpful.

Fuck off.

>>18431025
Dying alone? Well, unfortunately we all die alone.

Being super chad has nothing to do with focusing on yourself while being open to opportunities and people when they present themselves. The direction that actively persuing singles is one that's over rated.

I'll call places such as bars and dating sites meat markets, these places are where most singles go to persue or be persued.

These things happen naturally, forcing it doesn't come off like you might think. Naturally, you should come across people who're interested in you for who you actually are and not just because you're chasing everyone around out off fear of loneliness. That behavior and attitude won't attract constructive people in your life, it only leads a lifestyle dedicated to endless persuit. Don't reinforce unhealthy habits.

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>BPD
I'm never going to date on of you fuckers again. 2 and a half years of abuse and getting screamed at daily just because of the way i'd clean or cook or even breathe. You NEED to get help and fix yourself before anything else. At least you now you have a problem some don't and just blame everyone but themselves. They promise theyll change and make you thank them for not beating you but the verbal shit is far worse.

>>18430705

>they

faggot

>>18431315
story pls

I could potentially be in a situation similar to yours