I've lost the will to live /adv/, I've been a shut-in

Where are you from? Don't lie.

sounds like you need professional help

>>18427913
Right, I don't mind that but it will have to be a few months down the line when I have some money.

I kinda feel like I'd be too lazy / unmotivated to even attend.

It's not like I haven't looked for therapists, but I don't feel comfortable talking about all this stuff.
There isn't a single person I know in person who's aware I'm even in a bad way at all.

>>18427927
>but I don't feel comfortable talking about all this stuff.

It sounds like you're in so much misery things can only get better from talking to someone.who sees people like you all the time.

Sure it might be uncomfortable but if the alternative is what you are describing, it's well worth it to take the plunge.

Besides theres nothing to be ashamed off, especialy not in front of a therapist, and you shouldn't give a fuck what other people think. If they care about you they will be happy you got help.

Continuining to wallow in misery would be the worst choice of all. Go out and get help.

Being in the military won't "make a man out of you", you'll still be the same miserable person, except now you have to wake up at 5am every morning.

>>18428130
The idea was more that I'd get out and about and finally find purpose in my life through travelling and hardship.

>>18427878
It sounds like your life has no purpose. Have you tried converting to buddhism? I would strongly recommend, I would have offed myself if not for buddhism. Also : "normal wordly life is fucking meaningless and shit" is one of the main tenants of the religion so it sounds like you are almost there.

>>18428184
How do I get into Buddhism? I wouldn't know where to begin.

>>18428304

An important tenant of Buddhism is that life is suffering and that normal life has no sense or meaning because no matter what you do you will get old and die and while you get there you will suffer every step of the way. After you die you dont just dissaper but you get reborn and continue to suffer again. This cycle continues for eternity and its called "samsara" basically the cycle of life and death infused with suffering. The point of Buddhism is to brake this cycle of rebirth by becoming enlightened. You do that based on three principals: "wisdom" which is the understanding how the world really is. "morality" which is doing good deeds and refreining from negative deeds. And the last one is "meditation" shich is training the mind and making it usable and controlable. Right now we are mostly slaves of our negative emotions that decide if we feel good or bad but when you can actually learn to control your mind the negative emotions and negative states diminish. This is actually the essence of Buddhism, getting rid of negative emotions. Here is a small book its not really an introduction to Buddhism but its one of the original texts so its better for a first impression. Also you dont have to convert you can just take what you find useful.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/dhp/

This is also a nice website in general. Hope that your life will get better anon.

>and years of lifting later has just decreased my confidence, made me feel unaccomplished if I see someone bigger than me, and makes me feel worthless.

News flash, you will almost certainly NEVER be the best at ANYTHING. I suggest you to make peace with this fact and just learn to be the best you, not the best of everyone period. That's not to say competition with others is bad, but holy shit, if you get demotivated by seeing dudes bigger than you, you have a lot to learn.