My boyfriend of 8 years recently told me that he thought a lot

Do him a favor, break up and find some idiot who wants them who you can enjoy sucking the soul out of.

>>18427536
That was pretty aggressive.

Yeah, if after eight years with you his answer is no, I doubt it will change soon

>>18427531
>Do I have to break up?
If you want kids you do and find another guy that want them. You've been with this guy 8 years and knew he didn't want them but thought one day he would change his mind, he hasn't and he won't.

>>18427548
He didn't tell me he didn't want kids. He always said that he wanted to have a family one day and he wanted to have kids, but he wasn't ready "right now". He changed his mind recently.

>>18427531
you have to think about which one is more important to you, him or kids
you should also nudge him towards the same line of thought, you or freedom from kids

if neither of you choose each other, then the path is clear
if one and only one of you chooses the other person than that person should be willing to compromise
if both of you choose each other, then you find a common ground (i donno how)

>>18427537
Well it's a stupid reason to break up with someone, children shouldn't be a dealbreaker, there are plenty you can adopt. Wanting to get pregnant is fetish level retardation.

>>18427572
I don't understand what you are talking about.
He doesn't want to raise children at all - he doesn't want to adopt them, he doesn't want to get me pregnant, he doesn't want kids around us at all.
It is not about me getting pregnant. I never even mentioned it.

>>18427578
Are you both poor? Make more money and adopt your own kid. Leave him out of it or find someone else to play house with you.

>>18427568
I am scared that if I pick him over children I'll end up resenting him, and if he has children with me to make me happy he will resent me and make our kids' life miserable.
Right now I can see myself giving up on it, but I'm just 24 and I don't know what I'll feel in 6 or 8 years.

>>18427559
You fell for the oldest delaying tactic by hanging in there for 8 years for an insincere "right now". Anyway now you have your answer and he is forcing you to decide, either you live a life without children with him or live a life with children with another man.

>>18427582
It made sense since he was just 18 when we started dating. I didn't want to have children when I was 16 either, it was something I wanted in the future.

I don't know what to do. I really do love him, but I am scared that being with him will make me unhappy.

>>18427580
I'm fairly well off.

But how would I date my boyfriend while raising a kid on my own? Why would it make sense?

>>18427589
>I am scared that being with him will make me unhappy
It will, sorry.

Just poke holes in the condom.

>>18427599
I would never trick him into something he doesn't want.

>>18427598
Well. That fucking sucks.

>>18427593
LOL you dont wanna be a single mother lmao
dont even consider it

>>18427593
It would make sense because you can just exploit your children for govt money instead of his. They will still be cute and give you the affection you are taking for granted in your relationship so don't worry.

>>18427608
Of course I don't want to be a single mother.

>>18427612
I make twice as much as him and I am way too rich to get welfare money.
I am not taking anything for granted and I don't want kids because they look cute.

Stop being an asshole.

>>18427614
What if he got in a car accident or something? You'd be left pissing in the wind. Grow up, don't abandon a perectly good relationship otherwise for some stupid fantasy you haven't even thought through properly.

He is making a mistake. Life is pretty meaningless without children. Try to talk him into it.

>>18427622
>Stop being an asshole.

I'm being cash with you, you want children for selfish reasons, everyone does. Humans are not fully autonomous, you are caving into animalistic instincts instead of thinking rationally.

>>18427626
I don't want to purposely be a single mother. I want my kids to grow up with two parental figures and give them an example of a happy and healthy relationship.
If we had a kid and he died I'd deal with it, but I wouldn't purposely become a single mother.

I'd deal with losing an arm, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to cut my arm off just because.

>>18427632
I don't think that suppressing my instincts and my desires is going to make me happy in the long term.

>>18427631
Life is meaningless WITH them, why do you think so many mothers get postpartum? It's because the "happy" chemicals in the brain stop being relased while the woman is pregnant so they don't freak the fuck out and kill themselves while they're carrying a 8lb human being in their stomach like something out of a horror movie while gunga is raping the medicine woman.

>>18427631
I don't think it is true in general terms, but I'm fairly scared my life would be meaningless without them.

>>18427641
Your bf is a dick and so is everyone in this thread. He wasted your eight best years leading you on and now he changes his mind?! He owes you a baby. Don't forget 45% of pregnancies are 'accidental'

>>18427666
>He owes you a baby
>Children are commodities

Further proof that the people who choose to create life are the least capable of humanity.

>>18427666
Lol. He doesn't owe me anything. I'd never have a child with him if he didn't want to. His opinion matters as much as mine.

>>18427537
welcome to dating after age 25
>>18427531

Yes. Tell him you are breaking up.

You could also tell him that you have thought really hard about it and decided that you are not the kind of person who will have an abortion in the case of unintended pregnancy.

That's perfectly reasonable.

>>18427531
>he thought a lot about it and he really doesn't want kids. I do want them.
>
>What do I do

You go on craiglist post your naked pussy and get some guy to knock you up.
After a few months tell your bf you are pregnant, now ball is in his court.

>>18427850
>welcome to dating after age 25
Phew. I'm still 24 :^)

>>18427856
I am on hormonal IUD. I won't get pregnant unless I do something super dishonest like getting rid of the IUD without telling him, which I never would.

>>18427891
>I am on hormonal IUD
God I've been trying to convince my girl to get one of these but she's such a bitch about it, does it mean your guy can cum inside you as often as he could? must have been really nice

>>18427908
Yeah. He has been cumming in me basically daily since 2010.
It was pretty fun.

>>18427891
You can be honest about it. I'm not suggesting lying to him. Realize though that you are doing something really nice for him by letting him cum inside you with zero repercussions on his side of things.

>>18427581
Dont be stupid femanon. Point of life is to have babies. Period.

Everybody claiming otherwise will die out eventually.

You want kids, he doesnt. Drop his sorry ass and find real man who isnt afraid of commitment.

I really hope somewhere out there there's a decent looking woman for me that also doesn't want to bring children into this shit world

>>18427531

Wtf your boyfriend is 8?

>>18427572
>Children shouldn't be a deal breaker
Are you retarded? Wanting kids/not wanting kids is literally the biggest dealbreaker in existence.

>>18427536
>>18427572
>>18427580
>>18427612
>>18427626
>ITT /r9k/ gives relationship advice
Back to your containment board

>>18428020
It isn't about commitment, he is okay with marrying me and wants to spend the rest of our lives together.
He just doesn't like kids and wants to focus on his career.

>>18428034
No, we have been together for 8 years. He is 26.

>>18427969
I mean - it wasn't exactly making me unhappy. I enjoy having sex without risking pregnancies, for now.

>>18428048
>literal whale gives her opinion
Back to your containment tank.

>>18427531
Thats definitely breakup territory.

If you want kids you want kids. This will not work.

Im sorry if your relationship is amazing otherwise.

>>18428057
t. Permavirgin neckbeard
Why are you giving advice on an issue you will never have?

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>>18428056
>commitment
Oh really? You know what, buy pregnancy test, pee on it and show it to him without manual and tell him it is positive.

See his reaction. If his first reaction will be
>hurry, i will pay for interruption
you got your answer.

And btw you want to have kids before 30 to prevent all birth defect, complications and autism of babies. So stop wasting your time and find real man.

One lady here told you to secretly put off uid and get pregnant anyway. Sure it is super shit thing to do to your partner, but some boys are super scared of anything resembling work or commitment that there is no other way around it. Worth a try.

Maybe he will take it as man and ask you to trip to buy stroller.

>>18428065
You fight trolls by hunger. Starve them from (You)s.

>>18428065
Nice try Tubs. But like you i wasn't giving advice.
T. Shave and have had sex before.

>>18428020
>anyone who disagrees with me isn't a real man

>>18428075
We already agreed to end the pregnancy if I got pregnant now.
I would never have children with someone who doesn't want them. I would never ever trick him into it.
It is so fucking shitty that you'd ever suggest it. I love and respect him.
I'd like to have them in 4 years anyway, I will turn 24 in fall. I'm young.

>>18428083
The main difference between boy and man is the ability and willingness to sire children and taking care of them. If for whatever reason you dont or cant do that, you arent man. Simply as that.

And now please go and live your childless life, pay taxes and die rich. More resources for my children in the future.

>>18428094
You are just dancing around hard unconfortable truth. You want babies, he doesnt. There is nothing more to tell.

The longer you stay with him, the harder it will be to find new bf willing to have kids with you.

And if you want kids this badly at 24, wait how crazy you will behave at 30 if you wont have them.

>i am young
Before ~30 years doctors (and society) would look at you strangely to have 0 kids at that age.

Find real man.

>>18427531

This is the kind of thing you should discuss very early into the relationship, exactly for this reason. It's the one thing that can rarely be compromised.

You have to decide whether you favour the relationship you have with your boyfriend, or the option of having children. He has been honest with you and said he doesn't want children, so this is something you need to respect.

The chances are he will not change his mind and you should not hold out for a change of heart either. The final decision falls with you and I'd spend the near future thinking very carefully about what you want.

>>18428101
>The main difference between boy and man is the ability and willingness to sire children
Wrong, it's physical and emotional maturity. Like the maturity to look at the awful state of the world and impending ecological and political collapse and say I don't want to subject more people to this.

>>18428126
This is whole heartedly what i believe.

>>18428126
Whatever to allow you to sleep at night. Enjoy your empty life.

He's telling you this because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. The relationship probably isn't what he wants in the end. It ain't working for him but probably doesn't know how to end it, so, he's dropping hints. My guess is there are hints that have been dropped unrelated to having kids. Went through the same situation with my ex-wife.

>>18427531

You wouldn't be the first woman that tricked a guy into impregnating her...

>>18428140
He is very in love with me and wants to stay with me. I know you won't believe me, but he is ridiculously in love with me.
He cried when he told me and begged to not break up with him.

You are wasting your most fertile years with him.
Soon you will be 30 and he will leave you for a 20 year old and the will have a nice family and you will be left holding your feminine dick in your hand.

I'm 24, my gf is 21. She wants kids, I don't.

You wanna know why? She thinks it's "fun" to have kids. It probably is, 5% of the time, the other 95% I'm supposed to take care of them and her. Woman feel entitled to get children + roof + food for free.

So maybe that's why you should be fucking thankful this guy will probably stick his head out for you, and your offspring later on and for the rest of his life. Because that's what's going to happen.

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>>18427531
OP, I've read through this board and I think you're handling these rude internet users very well. I appreciate your legitimate question and how patient you are with waiting for the few proper responses you might get.

As for my own comment to the topic, I'm sorry your love has told you that he doesn't want children. I'm sure he's aware of how big this is. But whether he "meant it" when he agreed to wanting kids one day, or he simply said it to keep you with him, I still see love for you in his actions to-date. (Perhaps selfish on his part if he did pretend to want kids just to have you close, but I still see his desire to be with you.)

I think it's definitely worth sitting down and talking with him about it. This is a life goal of yours. It's something you want to achieve, just as some people might yearn to travel or become a pilot. Your dreams are a part of who you are, just as much as the rest of you, like your personality or history. And I do believe that if he loves YOU, then he should understand that you very well might have to leave him for yourself and your aspirations.

I understand that he wants to possibly build on his career and that's something to support too if it's his own life goal. But, if you ask me, I believe that children can be added to the goal of building a career. It can be done at the same time. But denying your goal for the rest of your life so he can reach is own...well, it simply isn't fair in my opinion.

Now I do realize that he might have just used that "desire to focus on work" as an excuse. He might honestly just be frightened by the idea of children. Such a fear usually comes from the idea that a person will lose time for themselves, that everything will focus on the child/children, or that their life can't move forward with kids incorporated because the children will always come first. But maybe that can be brought up. Not harshly, of course. This is someone you love who loves you too.

1/2

>>18427531
>>18428246
2/3

I imagine a conversation where you sit with him and bring this up again, letting him know that this is important to you, but so is he. And you want to truly understand why he doesn't want children. Yes work can be one part, but what is it about work that feels like he can't have both? Let him answer. Be patient and kind. Perhaps ask too if there are any other reasons as well, not to dismiss his previous answer but because you want this full understanding and you don't want to miss a single thing. Maybe you'll find that there IS the feeling that there will be less time in his life or that his energy will be spent on children and not his goals. Maybe there are some bigger reasons than what he's said outright. But go easy with him and try to find what really has him pulling away from the idea.

With your clear information, maybe you'll find that you can reassure him. You can let him know that he can still follow his dreams. Children will not make you love him less passionately, having them won't be the big chain holding him down that he thinks it might be, there is time. There are many things to still do and a lot of fun to be had. Adult time can still be there. And of course remind him that he's not alone. Having children can be scary for you too, even if you're still hoping for it. (All change can be scary, really) But you'll be with him, his partner and friend.

>>18427521
>>18428259
3/3 Didn't expect it to be this long. Sorry.

I obviously truly hope that this can be worked out between the two of you. It's heartbreaking when someone is left to decide between a loved one and their own dreams. But that is the actual question: if he really won't have children with you, should you leave him. Well, I certainly wouldn't add this next part to the discussion suggested above; an ultimatum that it's children or he loses you. But perhaps some time after the conversation, if he still chooses no, I would say that you should then make him aware that it is serious enough to you. That if this big goal of yours [which was made known at the beginning of the relationship] is not something he wants to be a part of, then you may have to leave the relationship. I think that you (that anyone!) should be true to yourself, honest with yourself, and honest with your partner. A partner should know who you are and what you desire in life, and accept that you will follow those desires when deciding to be a part of your life (and you for them, of course).

Most importantly, I believe in the old saying, "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not to people or things."

Being a mother, a guide and teacher is a fine goal and I commend you for it.

I wish you so much luck in your life, OP. And I think you'll be an amazing mother!

>>18428101
>More resources for my children in the future.

Welfare state everybody. Your kids are gonna get dysentery from not having access to potable water even though you have a lot of green paper.

>>18428133
You realize you're the one who looks like the normie asshole trying to convince himself that he didn't royally fuck up his and his families' life just by bringing them into existence so people could *think* he's mature, which they still don't.

>>18427581
wait until you're 30 and own your own house to reproduce please.

>>18427531

I have a question for you, OP.

Lets say he got you pregnant, but didn't stick around, but was in the kids lives, and yours as much as you allowed, but he was also not in a relationship with you? How would you react?

>>18427531

It is my solemn belief that having children is for women what losing virginity/having sex is for men.

So, I will give you all of the bits of advice that were given to me.

>it's not that great
>if you can't get what you want, change what you want
>put yourself out there more
>don't put yourself out there so much
>what does it matter if it happens now or when you're 50?
>if you really cared about someone, it wouldn't matter if they were ready or not

>>18428133
So the mark of maturity is non consensually creating a life so you can prove your manliness in a very unstable and uncertain world where said life might be fucking terrible.

Even though I dont want kids, i agree with many reasons to have kids and i respect others' decisions to have them.

But that has got to be the dumbest most self indulgent shit ive ever heard. You dont have kids for you faggot, you have kids to offer a chance to others, and you better as hell be able to provide the best for them and to ensure a good quality of life.

"Im a mature manly man" is not a good start.

I am really sorry, we went out for a beer and I'm just back.

>>18428112
>This is the kind of thing you should discuss very early into the relationship, exactly for this reason.
We did discuss it, but he changed his mind. It's not something I could have predicted 8 years ago.

I will think about it. I'm a bit confused right now.

>>18428168
As I said a thousand times, I would never do it. I'd rather die without children than ever forcing him into something he doesn't want.

>>18428205
I don't want to have children before my late 20s. I don't want more than two kids and I want to have them when I'm 28-32, not earlier or later than that.

>>18428232
I am not a kid. I have my own job, I own a house, a car and have no debt. I provided for him financially for years while we were studying.
He never (NEVER) gave me one dollar. I looked after him, gave him a roof, paid his tuition, brought the food on our table.
Stop implying that I feel entitled to anything because, granted, I was lucky but I worked my ass off and never asked him for anything.

He doesn't want kids ever. I don't want them today, and wouldn't mind if he wanted to wait for 5-6 years before having them.

>>18428559
>I would never do it. I'd rather die without children than ever forcing him into something he doesn't want.

Well I'm sure he doesn't want to end the relationship.

>I have my own job, I own a house, a car and have no debt

What about savings? Will they be able to go to school for free in your country? Do you live in a country where people voted a hotdog into office?

>>18428502
>welfare state
It is funny how you claim we all are going to die from lack of water, but in reality you are scared of your hard earned money to pay bills for single moms.

First i dont plan being single dad and second you can always become neet and watch how civilisation burns from your comfy basement while sucking the tax money for yourself.

>>18428506
I dont know your life situation, but my parents were awesome and if i manage to be half as good as them, my kids wont suffer that much as you think.

>>18428538
>non consensually
Yeah, the swjs culture will demand agreement of man, woman, the future child, gov and god in order to get permit to have sex.

I dont know if you have too much estrogen or fluoride in water, but having kids should be your 1st priority.

Maybe you should vote for laws sterilizing people to prevent making babies. Would that make you happy?

>>18428246
>>18428259
>>18428266
I really appreciate your posts. Thanks for taking the time to read.

We didn't talk much about it yet. I am still kind of shocked. He will leave tomorrow night for work and he'll be back next weekend, so we decided to have a discussion after I had some time to think.

He needs to travel a lot for a living. A lot of his colleagues have kids and he told me he just doesn't want kids that grow without a father figure because he would be rather absent.
He cares a lot about his career. He comes from a very poor family and had to work his ass off through all his school and now at his job to get there. So it is something he really cares about and that kind of defines him as a person.

I will talk this further with him. We aren't in any rush to take a decision neither about having kids or breaking up.
I don't think I can stay with him if we decide to not have kids, and while I wouldn't resent him if he decided to not have children I wouldn't be able to spend the rest of my life with him and give up on something I care so deeply about.

Thank you for all your nice words, meant a lot.

>>18428585
>It is funny how you claim we all are going to die from lack of water, but in reality you are scared of your hard earned money to pay bills for single moms.

What does me getting autism bux have to do with what I said about the water?

>>18428566
>What about savings?
I don't have much saved at the moment, but enough to live for 6 months without a job. I don't want kids tomorrow tho, I want them in a few years.

>Will they be able to go to school for free in your country?
It's affordable. Not free, but affordable.

>>18427531
Did you ask him WHY?

If you want kids, it's not fair for you to assume he wanted them too. These are things couples need to discuss. Not everyone was meant to be a parent.

>>18428517
>Lets say he got you pregnant, but didn't stick around, but was in the kids lives, and yours as much as you allowed, but he was also not in a relationship with you? How would you react?
I mean, if I knew he wouldn't stick around, I wouldn't want to have kids with him in the first place.
If we got divorced later I would try to make the best out of it. It's not ideal, but it'd be fine. I wouldn't hate him if he stopped loving me, as long as he took care of the kids and was responsible.

>>18428516
I own a house and a car already, have a good job and everything. I will anyway wait till I am older to have kids, I'm way too young.

>>18428597
He told me he wanted kids. He changed his mind.

I asked him why:
>He needs to travel a lot for a living. A lot of his colleagues have kids and he told me he just doesn't want kids that grow without a father figure because he would be rather absent.
>He cares a lot about his career. He comes from a very poor family and had to work his ass off through all his school and now at his job to get there. So it is something he really cares about and that kind of defines him as a person.

>>18428594
Because your concern about lack of fiat currency is nothing compared to lack of fresh water. That is funny.

Economy can crash and burn tommorow and nothing serious will happen. Poor people will be still poor and rich people will be still rich. You just burn all papers called money.

And really, i think i have found out perfect way how to troll /adv/. Simply by supporting posters to have children.

>>18428611
I wish you luck op. No matter what you decide, try ask people around you if they regret they had children. I know only people who regret they did none.

Good luck!

>>18428608
Thank you for being a responsible adult and member of society! You're the bee's knees!

>>18427531
Time to break up. It's not fair to either of you not to be able to live the life you want.

>>18427631
I think each person gets to decide what's meaningful in their own life. Kids aren't mandatory.

>>18428618
Virtually no one ever says they regret they have children until they are adults, they just go ape shit and commit infanticide.

>>18428638
I dont understand what have you tried to tell. But
>no one ever says they regret having children
probably proves my point.

Op please, dont give up having children. It is like having dog, but you teach it how to talk and later how to be nice person.

>>18428657
>>18428657
>but you teach it how to talk and later how to be nice person.

And sometimes they still turn out shitty and retarded, just like dogs.

You're obviously giving biased advice from an emotional point of reference because you're a memeing fuck who can't turn back.

>>18428618
>No matter what you decide, try ask people around you if they regret they had children. I know only people who regret they did none.
I've heard of people who regret having kids.
I mean, I just don't want him to have kids to make me happy. I care about my future kids well being and I want them to grow up with a father who thinks they are the best thing that ever happened to him, not a burden or an annoyance.

>>18428624
I try my very best. Thanks.

>>18428625
He is part of the life I want, tho. I'll think about it.

>>18428659
So what do we do before the eugenics are perfected and put into practice? Die out?

Or are only niggers in africa with aids allowed to breed while civilized countries have 1.1 baby per woman on average?

What is your master plan?

>>18428205
Projecting much?

>>18428674
Eugenics is "unethical" and thousands of people are being replaced with robots as we speak.

>>18427531
Do you want kids? If so, leave him. If not, stay. Any other answer is going to make one of you miserable and that's just unfair to the kid.

>>18428712
>unethical
Sure, giving baby chance by being born perfect is unethical.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_genetic_disorders

You dont need to have babies if you dont want to, but dont go around telling people that they force babies against their own will.

Cheers!

>>18428715
It's not so easy to leave someone I grew up with and I deeply love.
I wouldn't force him to have a child if he didn't want it, but on the other hand right now I'm wondering if I could live without having kids to stay with him.

>>18428733
Those weren't my opinions. Stop flying a fallen flag.

>>18427606
Sorry, this is a bad situation. Give him the ultimatum right back, and if he says he would rather leave.. you can find someone better

>>18427531
I'm not sure how to help you with this OP. It's up to you to decide what's more important to you: being with him or having children. That's really all it comes down to. Just don't let the fact you've been together 8 years affect your decision

>>18427531
You will regret staying with him.
Children are for life but men can leave you at any time for another woman, just think of that.

What if you are 35 and he leaves you for someone younger? You might have to get fertility treatments at that point and they might not even work.

Do not stay with a man who will not give you children if you want them because he can leave you at any time while you are wasting your fertile years on him.

>>18427531
Holy shit this fucking thread

Op, I assume you and your bf love each other correct? And that this is most likely the only major roadblock in you're relationship atm? Is so, then I would discuss with him why he doesn't want children. Perhaps he may have cold feet about the situation and you could eliviate his concerns. Or at the very least you could find out if and why he doesn't want children, end of story.Reading your responses in this thread you seem like a pretty decent person, and it's good that you are not willing to trick him or trap him with children.

I would think that for you two to have been together for 8 years you must love each other quite a bit, so it sounds like a relationship worth fighting for. Discuss the situation with him and find out if children are a true dealbreaker for the both of you. If so, then I suppose you may have to break up. It sucks but incompatability happens and children are a pretty big thing - not just a small issue in your relationship you can easily overlook. However like I said, discuss it - have the discussion be as long and in depth as you both are willing to talk and listen for. Becuase this is an important decission you both have to make, and it would be best if you both thought long and hard about it so as to not regret the decissions made later.

Good luck op.

I went through the same situation, but in my case I was the one not wanting kids. He dumped me the day I told him that I want to be sterilized. Said the dream of his life was being a dad.
Now he's dating a single mom of 3.

>>18428674

Not the person you're talking to, but I'm sure kids can be incredible if you're ready for them. It's admirable to want to have a child, or a couple, and work diligently to make them the future of our world.

BUT, if you don't want kids, and don't have the resources to raise them, there's no good reason to force it. The human race is gonna keep going. You can find satisfaction in a lot of places.

I'm 30 and posting this from an island in the middle of the pacific, drinking a gin and tonic while looking at the sunset. If I had kids, I'd be at home cleaning up toys or something.

>>18427916
>daily sex
I hate you.

>>18427531
Bitches are short on time, biological clock and all that.
Ask the N*gga if he's serious and plan your escape. Unless you're like 20 years old, you should have already been married and had a kid by now. 8 years is a really long time.

>>18427572
N*gga drop him like a rock. You're 24 you only have until 30 then you're a "left over woman" you will be considered this way almost universally.

>>18428559
You seem like a top-tier thoughtful independent woman, so I can afford to be honest.
He'll make your life miserable. You entitled him with an easy lifestyle where his desires are fulfilled. Not creating a family is one of them. You fed him, got him a roof, paid for his university and yet, he seems to be quite low when it comes to treat you well, just for the pleasure to pamper you.
He might be a honest, decent boyfriend but I can affirm he'll be a terrible life partner.
Jmo though.

>>18427674
You can tell by those satanic trips

>>18427531

Legitimately, if you really want children, then you have two options:

1. Find a different mate who would be willing to have children with you.
2. Try and compromise on something like adoption or a donor conception.

>>18428993
It's not a matter of ultimatums, he didn't give me any.
We just need to talk this out and I ultimately don't even know where I stand.

>>18428998
Right now I want to pick him over having children, but I am scared I'll regret it later.


>>18429500
He doesn't want children because to raise them properly and be present he'd need to give up on his career. He travels a lot for work right now, and while I do not mind it and we work out as a couple even if he goes away 3-4 days a week it'd be hard for a child to have a strong father figure if he was legitimately never at home.

>>18429547
I haven't dumped him or anything. I do love him.
I'll see what to do.

>>18429857
Why? :^)

>>18429869
I'm 23, about to turn 24. I don't want to get married till I am over 25 and I don't want to have kids till I am nearing 30.

>>18429881
Thank you for the compliments.

He's not an asshole or anything. He was by my side through all sorts of shit and loves me a lot.
I don't want him to feel obligated to give me children because I helped him financially. I honestly think that if he doesn't want to have kids as much as I do it is unfair for the kids because I'd be giving them a dad who doesn't want them and love them.

>>18429894
>2. Try and compromise on something like adoption or a donor conception.
It wouldn't work. He doesn't want to raise them.
We both agree on how important it is for a child to have strong and present parental figures - we both were raised by very present parents and a big part of who we are today is because of it, we always agreed on this and on trying to give the same to our kids.
Because of his job, he is away most of the week and in the future, if things work out for him, he might be away for weeks at a time. Of course he won't be as present in a child's life when he's away most of the time. He says he doesn't want to have kids if he cannot be there for them, and that he doesn't want to give up on his career since he worked so hard for it.
I can totally understand and I don't resent him for thinking like this.

>>18428526
The most retarded advice
"if you can't have what you want change what you want" - having children isn't impossible for her she is not infertile and even if she was she could adopt. She just needs to find a serious partner.
"you can have children at 50" no you can't. Men can have children even at 100 but women after 30 are gonna have problems. At 50 I don't even know if it's possible to get pregnant.
"if you really love him you should compromise " - what for? So she can live her life without children? I don't think this relationship can last too much without them. Humans have an innate desire to reproduce which is the primary reason of romantic relationships.

To op: in my parents' relationship my father was the one who wanted children and my mother thought she was too young for it at 30 so you can find a man who wants them. And the guy I'm responding to is right in one regard: "it's not that great". There are gonna be a lot of ups and downs along the way, but isn't that what life is all about?

>>18428993
She doesn't want children right now bur after 4 to 8 years according to her earlier comments so if she gives him an ultimatum he will stick around untill the knife cuts to the bone again and he says he doesn't really want it again.

>>18430056
Why do you assume he's some sort of asshole? He's a really good guy.

>>18427581
You're smarter than most commenters in this thread then. Unfortunately that is the realuty of thesituation and also why having kids is a dealbreaker for most people. One will resent the other and the relationship is most likely doomed.

>>18427531
Tell that faggot to have your babies

>>18427581
>and if he has children with me to make me happy he will resent me and make our kids' life miserable.
Basic biology says that he will love his children

>ITT virginboys trying to give relationship advice

something that clever girls would do in this situation is to manipulate the guy into changing his mind

you say he changed his mind recently, what caused him to change it? ask him about it and be relentless. poke holes into his story and nag him until he gives in.

if this fails, plan B is emotional blackmail. if he values you this should be pretty easy to do. just tell him that you had a bad dream about dying alone or whatever and carry on from there.

plan C is the classic "get pregnant using trickery and then insist on keeping it". if he's emotionally weak/attached, he will stay.

tl:dr; manipulate the shit outta him girl

>inb4 that is wrong/dishonest

i guess then you can be a puritan idealist and find happiness with someone else, huh?

>>18431294
I am really not that kind of person.
I could never force him into having kids with me knowing he wouldn't be as happy and convinced as me. It is something that will majorly impact our lives and, more than anything, I would bring another life here. I don't want my kids to have a father who isn't crazy about them or resents them for taking away something he ultimately didn't want to give.

It's not about being a puritan idealist, but I would never forgive myself if my children didn't have a father who is crazy about them.

>>18431050
It is actually not entirely true for men, much more for women.