>Emotional validation comes from bonding >tfw easily attached/in

You don't have a hobby or career that gives you the validation and self worth you need. So basically like a female.

File: 1441482041092.jpg (83KB, 560x682px) Image search: [Google]

83KB, 560x682px

>>18427293

Tru. My career does suck and is dry af, hey at least its "safe" and "stable". It does not have the feeling of validating my shit through conquest.

File: 1460350513132.png (643KB, 1022x731px) Image search: [Google]

643KB, 1022x731px

>self-worth is tied to how many girls I can get
Fuck, how do I break out of this? My three best friends are like this, too. We get laid regularly.

File: image.jpg (72KB, 599x787px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 599x787px

>>18427359

Word man, worst part is I've been failing pick up lately, which creates lack of confidence which creates lack of competence which creates lack of confidence and so on.

Desperation ain't attractive.

File: ba34efde20d3bbd0a76bc620aa7f7486.jpg (70KB, 736x1279px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 736x1279px

>>18427236
>Why am I like this
Its likely you have been conditioned to express this behavior in order to feel control over your situation. Perhaps it is a behavior that began in school, perhaps at home. W/e the environment or stimuli, it's a behavior which was probably a necessary response to the situation(s) presented.
The question is, are you conflicted about it?

>>18427236
What you're describing is lust, not love. Next time you feel this way simply tell yourself, and accept that, the feeling is fleeting and nowhere near as deep as love. You aren't IN love until the other person loves you back. Until then it's just lust. I'd say after a year with someone you'll know the difference.

You're experiencing lust, not love.

"Love" is an addiction. We seek validation from others because that is how we are biologically built. No way around it except supplementation. Nerdy social rejects for example get around it by having hobbies or activities that they are so engrossed in they forget about their emotional needs.

File: image.jpg (71KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 500x500px

>>18427432
Yeah I mean I was raised on a diet of romantic comedies and Disney.

Shit has to change if I ever wanna be a ladies man, or at least a normal member of society

>>18427516
Would you describe yourself as well socialized? I mean as a kid were you around other kids or was that something you had to 'catch up' on so to speak?

>>18427665
Oh I had to catch up!

>>18427236
I'm like this too but...I kind of enjoy it desu.
Recently I've kind of gone past it. I'm 24, and make, and I think your brain just matures a bit eventually.

Now I'm not a girlfriend kinda guy still but actually I'd just much prefer to have a laugh with my friends than pursue females. They're a nice consequence of a lifestyle but not a good goal.

If you want to break out just take a look at why you're doing it. Initially you probably enjoyed it and now you just don't any more. Seeing this in yourself is already halfway to conquering it. Or you could just accept it and try to enjoy it again. Banging chicks is great dude. They're beautiful creatures.

File: aoZenxm_460sa_v1.gif (1MB, 276x225px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 276x225px

BUMP

>>18427359
I wish I could figure this out too. For me it isnt how many girls I can get. But how much pussy I can score either from multiple ONS or getting repeated pussy from one girl. In short, I need a constant source of pussy, but I dont need multiple amounts of different women. Sad part is I'm not even a virgin. I just like pussy that much to where I give it some kind of value above most things.

>>18427434
That's like saying be conscious of your breathing as you're doing it. When you're horny its an override. You cant control wanting to fuck someone

>>18428314
You didn't fully comprehend what I said.

File: g-gibs.jpg (85KB, 750x598px) Image search: [Google]

85KB, 750x598px

>>18428306
>like pussy that much to where I give it some kind of value above most things.
Ohh, you mean like all men?

>>18428893
Elaborate please then. I'm actually very interested

>>18428928
No, because lots of men put pussy as an after thought because their carers, hobbies, etc keep them busy to where they seek out pussy as something out of boredom or random horniness. There's a difference between a guy whose meh about getting laid cause pussy comes easy and a guy who seeks it out because he can't get enough. Like when I hang out or talk to a woman, my intent is sex, despite having sex before,because i enjoy it that much. A good chunk of guys can hang out or talk to a chick and not feel this way right off the bat.

>>18427236
>self-worth is tied to how many girls I can get
weird, I'd say there's a small part of my self worth that I'd say is tied to having one girl I'm with. just stop being a man whore.

>>18427696
K. Is it possible that bonding/attachment (consciously or not) is an improvised interaction tool?
Early developmental years are critical for a child's ability to interact socially, which if obstructed can have lasting (though not heinous) consequences on a child's/adult's methods of socializing. I speak from several levels of experience.
It sounds like some aspect or degree of your standard "operating proceedure" is due for some refinement. No judgement, but that sounds like too-detailed an area for me to inquire into.
>t. Horsefucker

>>18429463
Breh, I'm all ears.

I need to figure out how to solve it tho

>>18427236
Op, are you sure you have a cock between your legs?

>>18429688
I do... But I see whatchu saying

File: image.png (53KB, 796x868px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 796x868px

>>18429463
Still need a prescription senpai

File: Care-Bear-4.png (183KB, 900x1277px) Image search: [Google]

183KB, 900x1277px

>>18429687
Okay well in that case.
1. Does the bonding/attachment you currently engage in cause you distress/dysfunction?
2. Does it cause adversity in/around those you are seeking to or have bonded with?
3. Do these bonds come with attachments or agreements (spoken or otherwise)?
4. Is the bonding behavior still working as a socialization method; why or why not?
5. Are there ways you could improve on your method or approach that makes it more conducive to lasting relationships?
6. Are there any unrealistic expectations you may not be aware of?
These are all rhetorical, feel free to decline answering as desired.

>>18428981
I honestly feel that the concept is exceedingly simple. Your analogy doesn't really apply to what I said because I'm not offering it up as a cure-all. It's something that needs to be worked on, and reminding ones self regularly that the feelings being experienced in this situation are not love will assist in that process. If you think you're IN love before someone has reciprocated fully, or greater than, your expressikn of love then you are simply misunderstanding the expression. OP has never been in love with these girls. He has a natural selfish attachment through hormones and LUST which is an important distinction... Which is exactly what I said before. Misunderstanding these terms is the first error because now OP doesn't know what he's looking for when it comes to actual love, and he will confuse this feeling of lust for love and never experience the thrill and euphoria of deep love.

Love is a very deep feeling, and lust is an incredibly shallow one by comparison. If you wouldn't die working your fingers to the bone for these women then you don't love them.

>>18430804
>>18430707

I'm gonna say is this

Fuck man, all a girl has to do is give me an oxytocin high (cuddles, making out, etc.), ghost for a couple of weeks and then come back and I will be following her like a lost puppy and I will be miserable and thinking about her when she is gone.

Why am I like this?

File: 140922103804-dr-drew-spanking-newday-00013213-story-tablet.jpg (56KB, 768x432px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 768x432px

>>18431370
>Why?
How's your relationship with your mom anon?

File: 20150511221531-psychologist-shrink-doctor-therapy.jpg (241KB, 822x462px) Image search: [Google]

241KB, 822x462px

>>18431529

Fuck. Ok. Well she is always away for work, and even until now she is mostly unavailable and its clear that I will never be her priority.

Fuck.

Please give me a solution.

>>18431551

HALP

File: Care bears2.jpg (13KB, 246x300px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 246x300px

>>18431551
The 'solution' is to develop a behavior/habit that gratifies you in a comparable manner that you're not conflicted about. What you have described is not uncommon, though there is no immediate remedy.
One manner of addressing it is to socialize and interact with individuals who display the manner of relationships which you prefer to express/emulate, another is to identify resources and instructions, et al. You know far better than I what resources and options you have at your disposal.

>>18431760
It's like telling a poor person to just stop being poor, anon.

>>18431808
Hmmmm. More akin to advising a poor person to begin a process of learning to manage their finances better, while addressing the behaviors and stimuli that engender a propensity for excess or ill-advised expenditure. XP

>>18427236
go get your heart broken. also, women see you as a slut bro. a man that gives love to any woman is as bad as a woman that gives sex to any man

File: 1497715248087.jpg (45KB, 350x500px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 350x500px

>>18433708

Thats the problem, I get attached too soon. Prolly because of >>18431551 >>18431370

She becomes my existence... which makes me feel like a bitch ass typing it out just now.

And I know its wrong, and unhealthy.