>have female best friend who's 30 >she's been

Cool blog post

atm the only solution i see is to let him go and finally experience the freedom he never got a taste off. maybe he will realize that that's not all there is and will come back. then he would have choosen his family on his own and not under pressure. and if he doesn't, then atleast they don't fight infront of the kids anymore all day. i just don't see any benefit in staying together if your relationship is THAT fucked up, not even when you have kids.
and yeah, the 3 other kids all were her idea. she just kept nagging till he was fed up and gave in.

>>18426866
yeah, give me a second.

post got too long

the question is, how can she get trough to him if he has completely shut down like that?

>>18426864
What's your question?

>>18426869
She can't because he doesn't want to be there at all. He doesn't want her, he doesn't want the kids, he doesn't want any of it.

>>18426870
got cut off. she has asked me to meet up, she needs advice and someone to talk to. and i don't know what would be the best way to go about this. he won't go to couples counseling etc, he's completely fed up. the question would be, is there any solution besides separating?

>>18426875
obviously, he just wants out and probably since day one. but now they have a house, 4 kids and a dog. is there another way besides divorce?

>>18426883
Of course there isn't, you moron

So are you R?

>>18426894
ok, thanks for the indepth advice.

>>18426897
for once, it's really a friend

He should go out for a pack of smokes and never come back

>>18426864
If he wanted out he could move on and just pay child support, but now dumb fuckers having baby number four. No doubt tax payers paying for filthy scum to live, feel sorry for kids they didn't ask to live that way and had no choice in matter

>>18426906
they don't get any financial aid, they both work.

but i agree, it's really not a good situation for anybody.

>>18426864
OP, can you go talk to the bloke? Like man to man? Invite him over to fix your car or whatever male shit you need another male for, then have a conversation where you don't look each other in the eye?
Start of with stuff like "im not here to judge" or whatever eases the tension and makes you feel like you are not judgemental and try to get through.

If nothing's happen they will most likely split up. The problem is that there are so many vast areas of things unsaid that they can no longer communicate on and that's how a marriage falls apart.
They'd need a marriage counselor or someone to get them to talk to each other again. Try to plant that thought in R's head too because usually it's the women who drag their guys there.

>>18426883
>didn't want kids
>had 4
like OP, this bait.... you gotta work on this bait.

>>18426881
yeah, him being a fucking man. if they divorce niether of them will ever have any semblance of a normal life until they're like 50 and none of their 4 kids will have any future. sounds like the guy needs to learn to enjoy some things he's got cause there's nothing out there better. he's got the whole point of life right there by accident. they need counseling tbqhfam. they've both pushed it to the point where they aren't going to be able to solve their problems it doesn't sound like. I doubt very much that they learned how to deal with things in life so it sounds like the husband gave up, and the wife is freaking the fuck out subconsciously so much it's manifesting because the person that's supposed to be leading things is just done with it.

>>18426928
fuck
>I called it bait
>still responded

>>18426926
i'm female, though. but my husband is one of his besst friends and has offered to talk to him. but idk if that would do any good. it just seems like there's bothing one could say that wouldn't make him feel even more trapped.

>>18426928
i wish this was bait.

thanks for the adv. but i don't see how any influence from outside could bring him to this conclusion. and in the last 12 years, he hasnmt come to it himself. do you not think that being separated could open his eyes for what he had? i mean, she would be happy to take him back any day...

>>18426938
well right now you think they're going to divorce, so there's nothing to lose with a man to man conversation. being separated sounds like a shit idea frankly. you break that bond once and it's not statistically likely to be repaired again, though he's already cheated apparently so who fucking knows.

this is way above /adv/s pay grade. my advice is someone needs to tell him to buck the fuck up buttercup. sounds like he needs a boot up his ass for a solid month and he needs a man to teach him how to lead the house like he evidently was not taught and did not ever learn.

separation is only going to reinforce his weakness. honestly, in my mind, he needs to be forced to do family shit so he has an opportunity to see his family in the light that he is willfully separating himself from. actually, there's a point, separation won't work cause he's already done it. the man needs to be forced to interact and take a leadership role. that's his obligation as a man, that's his purpose, and it's probably a big part of why he's got so many problems cause he wasn't able to step into that role for whatever reason. he's all fucked up cause what he needs is that purpose but he keeps pushing it away. its like a woman that rejects her child and is never happy from that point on.