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25 y/o former kissless virgin here. Been with my first girlfriend for almost a year now. Everything went great for the first half year except a few things I noticed some people might constitute red flags but I waved them off because of the absence of more (for example, less than a month in she told me that she ghosts people if they make her mad, no matter how close she is to them; this has yet to be done to me.)
I've begun to notice a lot of problems that I either did not notice or chose to ignore early on. She is very insecure about my love towards her and needs constant reaffirmation, verbally and physically, and if there is any, ANY down time for either of us, she wants to be together. I cannot stand any of this, I need alone time quite often and it's driving me insane, and I have tried to tell her as much but she keeps changing the subject to me not loving her enough. It's getting frustrating to have no personal time as well as be constantly doubted. She asks if I'm with another girl any time I say that I just need some alone time, and after I say no she passes it off as joking.
I have tried to talk to her about this and have failed. She is getting upset at me more often, over stupid stuff like a friendly game of tennis where one of us sees a ball in and one sees it as out.
I am beginning to question the longevity of this relationship but because it's my first one I have no standard to compare it to and so I'm unsure of what to do. I can't continue like this, but I don't know if it's to the point where I should end it. I want to find somebody to spend my life with and I am questioning whether or not it's this person, and if I have these questions, is it fair for me to tie her down to myself for any longer.
What do?
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Just say, "I would not cheat on you and if i ever wanted to for any magical reason, I would break up with you first before having sex or go out with another woman"
Its reassuring. dont know how she will take it but thats what i would say
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A relationship like that just isn't for you, you're just not compatible. You should try to find another girl and you should probably tell her you do need alone time. Or fuck, why not just try to get a fwb? maybe that would work better for you than a relationship (for now at least)
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>>18416200
I have more or less told her this exactly multiple times. She responds well to it but a few weeks or a month later it seems that we're right back to the same stuff.
>>18416200
I'm really not interested in casual sex so I've never considered the fwb thing. I would really like to work things out with her, she's a very honest person who wants something long term, to start a family, hasn't ridden the cock carousel and is pretty conservative, yet submissive (excluding this problem) and that's a lot of what I'm looking for.
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>>18416236
Ok, but like you just said she's driving you insane...and she's absolutely not going to change even if you "work things out" with her
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If things stay as they are, then things are not going to work out in the long run for the simple fact that she has no self awareness and is not willing to give in a single inch.
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>>18416195
take it from someone who was just through first ever relationship - if its wrong in your gut, gtfo
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