So how is sympathy supposed to feel? I've seen myself as

Nope. Sounds like you're both sociopathic, and potentially slightly autistic or your emotional intelligence is stunted.

Not saying that as an insult, I'm saying that as someone who knows someone who is legitimately sociopathic, but has the emotional intelligence to understand what the concept of "empathy" is--even if he is physically incapable of feeling it.

>>18415086
Sympathy by definition is sponateous affection towards someone. Of course I want the person to feel the same way and feel bad if they don't and it may have underlying pragmatic reasons

>>18415086
you either have no morals, conscience or backbone

but it's fine, OP, it's good to be a selfish bastard

How old are you OP?

>>18415206
I take no offense.
I do understand how people feel. Be it betrayed, fooled, ashamed, and that often can evolve into anger.

I just, don't care? I don't know how to put it. I get what they are feeling, and it has allowed me to comfort people / talk myself back into their warm side.
Usually by letting people talk so I can understand the specifics, and then use that to talk my way back.

I like the position of being a comforting / coolheaded person, as people just jump onto me to tell them all about their feelings, troubles, history, and so on. They're basically giving me a blueprint on how I can act efficiently around them.

I've never seen myself as sociopathic, as it seems only edgy 15 year olds are because "lel no empathy, check me out on myspace"

>>18415280
Sounds edgy

>>18415284
21

>>18415327

All that sounds like is selfishness to me, OP. "It's other people, why should you care" seems to be the idea ringing around in your head. You can call it a lack of empathy, but it boils down to the fact that you believe only yourself matters.

Sounds like sociopathy to me

>>18415086
Here's another perspective
I'm someone that is thought of as an "empathetic and considerate person"
I feel bad when I hurt and use people because I imagine what it would be like for them and feel like they do. This can even extend to things like movies and stories. I have to avoid stories without happy endings because I will feel physically sick afterwards.
One could also say that I like to keep up a kind atmosphere because I want to set the expectation on being treated the same way.

This could also be because I get an ego boost out of being a good person. People say nice things about me, they think well of me, I have a good reputation. That all makes me feel better about myself. It makes it easier for people to trust me, and people are more inclined to agree when I ask them to do something for me.

I also worry about hurting/using people backfiring. People can get mad at me, which I can take as a hit to my self worth. I don't want to be seen as someone who hurts and manipulates. I want to manipulate the situation in a way that I am seen as good.

I relate with using people for positive relation. I keep friends because they're funny, or because they have fantastical imaginations, or because they let me vent to them, or because I feel accomplished out of giving them advice, or because we share expectations on ideal ways to spend free time, or because we share hobbies, or because this or because that.

I don't like keeping friends that I don't enjoy.


"Normal" is kind of arbitrary. There are evolutionary advantages to looking out for everyone, and for looking out for yourself. Humanity is built around our ability to adapt to many situations; that's how we survive. So we have a variety of strategies available to us on how to do that.

It's a disorder when it makes you dysfunctional, distressed, dangerous, and/or deviate too hard from social norms. Just the latter isn't enough, you need at least one of the other three.