Last Saturday GF told me that she is not feeling what she would

>>18412181
If she is normal and not a manipulative bitch she's gonna be sad, but she started the story.

>>18412189
For the whole year of dating she seemend normal, just a bit depressed. During early dating there where no games from her side.

So I should not contact, heal wounds and wait for her move?

>>18412181
I don't know the CONTEXT of how it was said.

Like was she trying to say it to pick a fight/complain about something you're doing? was she saying it while other guys? Or was she trying to be a real adult having and adult conversation, be open with you, and actually TALK to you about something that's bothering you?

But

> Afterwards I have stopped all communication with her, deleted our conversation and pictures.

You handled this like you were a child throwing a tantrum--not like an adult.

As I said, there IS a world where by telling you that, she was just trying to be adult, be 100% honest, and talk about things in the real world, in which case you just knee jerked and slammed the door in her face like a child.

Is that the case here? No idea, probably not, and that could be 100% wrong in this case. But that doesn't change the fact that--whatever she did--you acted like a child who needs to grow up.

Because in the future there WILL be relationships where one or both of you is not 100% certain.
In fact that is 99.999999% of all relationships. Shit is Bassically NEVER 100% copacetic in a relationship and you got to learn how to deal with that like an adult who can work through his problems to actually built something, not a child who cries when everything's not perfect.

What you SHOULD have done is talked to her, found out where this was coming from, and if it was irreconcilable, just said I'm sorry that sucks, I cared for you but that's for the good moments, good luck.

And that's it.

Because that's how you act like an adult, not a child.

>>18412211
>just said I'm sorry that sucks, I cared for you but thanks* for the good moments

These are your options:
-You say ok, then you start hooking up with other women, she gets to earn your attention back.

-You man up, (show masculinity and dominance) take her on an amazing date that lasts all day full of suprise, danger and romance and then you fuck her brains out.

If either of you had had any real spark your relationship would not have been that bleak. If you were in love you should have been shocked and hurt that she did not love you. Just move on.

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>>18412211
Don't listen to this asswipe. You got dumped man, the reason clear as clear can be. She's not that into you.

Sitting around moping around won't help, and you can't force someone to feel the same way about you so fuck it. You did the right thing by not throwing a tantrum (seriously, how is trying to move on after a break-up considered throwing a tantrum) and by taking the first steps to moving forward.

You need to keep the no contact thing going on and just move on in the meanwhile.

Best case scenario, she realizes she made a mistake and want you back, worst case scenario you move on and find someone else.

>>18412211
Well, my OP was not fully showing situation

Past weeks were quite bumpy. We had quite few conversations about us etc. She mentioned what was not working for her and I immediately showed improvement (she saw it).
On Saturday we were supposed to meet. Few hours before she initiated this talk over text. Once she said that she does not feel what she would like to feel, I proposed that we should work on this together. Her reply was that in her opinion things do not work like this. She cannot continue pretending that everything is normal because I she does not want me to be hurt even more. Afterwards I thanked for all our good moments and said goodbye. We didnt meet at all.

I am torn between moving on and asking for one more discussion with her. But because we discussed this already few times over last weeks I do not want to be seen as needy/clingy. She mentioned that she needs some space so I wanted to give her some time to miss me.

>>18412220
Date was my plan for Saturday, before she cancelled it and broke up.
Anyway I still consider resuming contact around Wednesday or Thursday to maybe go out with her durign weekend.

>>18412233
>You did the right thing by not throwing a tantrum (seriously, how is trying to move on after a break-up considered throwing a tantrum) and by taking the first steps to moving forward.

I'm pretty sure that suddenly trying to erase all signs of weeks/months/years of your life, pretending like it never happened--because someone said something that you didn't want to hear and the proceeding to shut them out of your life , is pretty much EXACTLY throwing a tantrum

The adult--non-tantrum throwing--response is:
That sucks, but that's life. We shared something good or a while. I'll feel sad for what we lost, but I will deal, remember the good times fondly, and ultimately all take those forward with me in my life to find what makes me happy. Good luck.

Refusing to deal with reality is NOT healthy, and NOT how you properly move forwards in your life.

You know why? Because you are inevitably going to come across a similar situation where you get dumped/face rejection, and what's going to happen? THE EXACT SAME THING. You are going to act like a coward, run away from it, and never learn how to deal.

Getting rejected hurts. But don't run away from it like a bitch.

>>18412222
She wanted to break up 3 weeks before. I was shocked then. But we instantly reconciled. Afterwards she was sending mixed signals, however last week everything was perfectly normal.

>>18412256
>Afterwards I thanked for all our good moments and said goodbye. We didnt meet at all.

That's good.

>I am torn between moving on
>She mentioned that she needs some space so I wanted to give her some time to miss me.

That's NOT good.

EVERY SINGLE TIME anyone has ever been broken up with/rejected and had the thought/said:
>I just wanted to talk one more time. Maybe I can get some closure.

What they really mean is:
> I just want to talk one more time. Maybe I can trick/convince them in to liking me again.

Trust me, I've been exactly there, and even from both sides of the line.

Accept that things are done.
Stop trying to play games.
Even IF she came back, nothing would change and a few weeks later, you'd be exactly back here again.

That's how romance and attraction works. There are some things you can work on, but if both sides aren't willing, then nothing will change.

You don't need to go drastic and cut contact, you don't need to try to hope to get back together, you need to accept he reality that it wasn't meant to be, felt sad for the appropriate amount of time, and realize that there is plenty of time to find someone with whom else it will worm out better.

Part of the reason why I said cutting her out of your life is stupid is because it's an overreaction of colossal scale that acts like she was "the one" and raises her on a pedestal. It mystifies her, and it elevates what you had to something significant beyond what it ACTUALLY was. Which pulls you away with dealing with the actual reality of things;!that this wasn't actually that significant and was just another chapter in your life, filled with good moments and bad--not some world shattering event. You will move past it, like you will so many other moments.

Stop being so dramatic, everything has an end, but that doesn't mean every end has to be a big deal. You will face countless of ends in your life, but what's ACTUALLY important are the beginnings that follow.

>>18412286
If you are a porn addict, you cut yourself off from porn with an app or some shit. If you are a drug addict, you get help, go to a drug clinic, whatever, and distance yourselves from drugs and those who would tempt you to indulge in them. Breakups can get very sticky very fast. I've never heard of a breakup where the two parties didn't have some residual feelings. Those feelings can tempt people to try to get back together, which is a bad idea (just one example source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.inverse.com/amp/article/11100-breakup-science-says-you-should-never-ever-ever-get-back-together).
There is nothing about civilly breaking up by wishing your former partner the best and not trying to guilt them into staying, then removing things that would reopen the wound and make you pine after them, that is cowardly or childish. It's much more adult that hmmm-hawing around, confusing your maybe-not-an-ex because you don't have the guts to face the fact that even though you want those warm fuzzies, it's best to just move on.