My boyfriend's sex drive has completely disappeared. Everything

couples therapy, speech therapy and a check at the doc.

>>18411609
He's probably fucking somebody else, because you're annoying / an anooyance on pms. That would be my guess

>>18411613

I wouldn't say I'm annoying (although I guess I would say that). I'm supportive, we never argue, we have a very fulfilling life together. He could very well be sleeping with someone else but I don't think he'd have the time or the opportunity to do that, unless it was online or something like that.

>>18411609
I don't think he's necessarily cheating on you. Try to find the source of the problem, if he says it's cortisol levels then he should have it checked and if it's not that then go by eliminating method. Ofc this will work only if both of you are willing to dedicate your time to it.

Btw, I feel you. My sex drive is much higher than my bf's but it always has been. It can be tough sometimes

It may just be he has a lot on his mind. Underlying stress can cut into everything. When I was having financial issues my sex drive plummeted no doubt to the regret of my GF but once the problems were resolved it came back

Hard to feel in the mood when you can't get problems off of your mind. It's like trying to think of having sex with you while mentally seeing a pile of shit. It's not you that is the pile of shit or even related to you but he can't not see it until it's gone.

If he's finding his problems hard he may be reluctant to talk about them hoping to resolve everything himself as I think it means a lot to a man to be able to sort his own shit out.

>>18411663
Where were you when I was single? My wife's was very high during dating and our first 2 years of marriage. Now, she's dropped off to damn near zero. She blames 2 kids. I call BS. Is this why people wife swap?

>>18411609
Maybe the benzos loosened him up and he is otherwise insecure about sex. Try alcohol or catching him at a time when he is more relaxed.

My SO is normally uninterested in sex, but is very horny if woken up for sex at like 2am.

>>18411710

Thank you for your response. He doesn't really have any issues though - work is fine, financially we're comfortable, I don't ask for anything or put pressure on him. I'm completely independent and have no expectations. I could understand if there was some area of his life that was stressful or high pressure but there really isn't. I'll take your advice on board though.

>>18411663

Thank you. It is difficult. More so because the sex was absolutely amazing when it happened and I felt a real connection with him. Now it's gone, I still feel a connection but it's like we're just amazing friends rather than a couple.

>>18411762

I did think that could be a cause. This would be disappointing.

I don't think my attitude towards sex is very healthy either. My last partner had such a low sex drive that we once went six months with absolutely no sex. I'm terrified of falling into the same habits and to be honest, I'm starting to worry it's something to do with me.

>>18411609
Either the problem is in his head
>so stressed / terrified / crazy he doesnt want sex at all
Or in his penis
>erectile disfunction

Since he is
>trying to avoid getting to stage where he has to actively turn me down
i bet my (You)s on erectice dysfunction. He cant pop a boner. You mentioned benzo, that is happy pill. Usualy it kills libido / boners, but sometimes it does the other way around. His brain got used to chemicals from it and without it he can get boner. And he is afraid of telling you, because boys arent allowed to show emotions or vulnerability. Also being boy with broken dick is humiliating.

Ask him directly:
>can you pop a boner? Show me.
then when he gets suoer defenzive tell him it is not end of world and try to ask him if he wont make you cum via oral or similiar.

Start by gaining back intimacy. Teach him you dont think less of him for broken dick and show him other sexual stuff. Then start working on his broken dick.

Good luck?

>>18411609
I'm actually in the same boat as you. But I'm the guy.. So, for your boyfriends sake, have him exercise (if he doesnt) to boost his testosterone levels and loose any fat. If it's not that, I'd look into that pill or medical stuff he was taking. Hope that helps you both out, cheers.

lol i'll tell you again what i told you a few months ago: going from steady diet of benzos for years to no moar benzos nao is all but guaranteed to send libido into the gutter while neurotransmitters are getting themselves sorted back out. it is not unusual for this process to take months or even a year or two. the pressure you're introducing makes it take much much longer because it adds an unnecessary element of (what becomes) neuroticism to also have to deal with and work through. get a vibe, stop driving a wedge further between you guys over this, and be patient ffs

>>18411609
i don't know if this helps any, but i'm a girl and i can't have sex unless i'm on benzos. i'm otherwise too anxious and not turned on. he may just have an anxiety disorder or some other fixable mental disorder like depression or something. mental disorders can seriously kill someone's sex drive

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I wonder what it could be.