How do you have a healthy sexual relationship with someone?

>>18411164
Masturbate more infrequently and watch less porn and you'll start to understand.

are we only talking about the sexual part of a relationship or do you mean the whole "romantic relationship" thing with living together and stuff?

Its embedded in us man, if you got laid you would understand that.

>>18411268
I'm not a virgin, so I understand that sexuality is a natural drive.

I just don't know how relationships work

>>18411264
The whole romantic living together being around another human being thing, sex is an inevitable function of that space, right?

How does a relationship like that stay afloat?

>>18411254
>having less orgasms will make me understand what it's like to have a sexual relationship with another person
Really made me think.

>>18411331
mostly due to both sides putting in effort. it takes a lot of maturity to keep a functioning relationship going. almost nobody will be able to pull that off from the start, so it takes a lot of patience and moving on to get to that stage. consequently, you can only get there if you don't give up when issues arise. if that happens, and it will most definitely happen, it takes the courage to dare to be honest without being unnecessarily hurtful. this requires both sides to be able to communicate in mature and beneficial ways and also having learned to not take criticism personally but instead as a huge sign of love, since the other cares enough for your relationship to dare to be honest. in my opinion one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. sadly, a lot of people can't accept that gift and instead get devensive, hurt or angry. it's also common for people to not be able to be honest. instead they resort to passive agressiveness or they keep it locked down until they explode. but things like that aren't a reason to throw in the towel. if you encounter those in yourself or your partner, have the grandeur to forgive and grant yourself or the other one a new chance. ofc you shouldn't do that infinitely. some people actually never learn and then it's better to move on. but it's worth it always to try a few times before you reach that conclusion.
when you had an issue and you didnmt manage to resolve it in a mature way, it is adviceable to analize what went wrong and in the best case scenario discuss it together and find way you can avoid the same thing in the future by learning better options to deal with similar sitations.

if you do it right, being in a relationship is the biggest chance to grow as a person and reach true maturity.

>>18411359
thank you anon for such a well thought out response.

so the core of a healthy relationship is comprised of

honesty

patience

care/taking time to listen

and being open, right?

tell me if i missed anything

>>18411384
yes, that sounds good.
i also think that skills like being able to learn from well meant criticism and communicate properly are essential.
a good starting point is googling nonviolent communication. it would be autistic to follow this to a t, but it gives you a good base to fall back to if you feel like you´re talking about completely different things. it´s about small details like saying "we agreed that it is your job to take out the trash and i now had to take out the trash two weeks in a row because it was overflowing and starting to smell bad. why haven´t you taken the trash out?" instead of "you never take out the trash despite it being your job. i always have to do everything myself."

in the first example, you remind the partner of the agreement without accusing them. then you tell them what happened. notice that it doesn´t use "always" and "never". those generalisations are almost always a sure fire way to make your vis a vis react defensive by saying "that´s not true." and they are right, because it mostly isn´t true that they NEVER or ALWAYs do something. this is just asking for troubles.
after you have stated what went wrong EXACTLY (the trash was overflowing and starting to stink for 2 weeks in a row), you give them the benefit of the doubt that there was a good reason they have done what they have done. by asking them for the reason, you give them the opportunity to explain it to you without feeling threatened or like they have to defend themselfes. maybe they thought there was still enough room in the bin, or you simply came home a bit too eraly and saw it first. it jus ttakes a lot of explosive energy out of issues like that. and those are sadly things a lot of couples fight over again and again, despite it being unnecessary.

File: non-violent-communication-5-638.jpg (62KB, 638x479px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 638x479px

>>18411421
this is the basic concept. as i said, you don´t need to go trough all the steps ALL the time as this would just make you sound like some new age wussy. but keeping the steps in mind and digging them up when communication could get difficult is very helpful.

>>18411359
>ofc you shouldn't do that infinitely. some people actually never learn and then it's better to move on. but it's worth it always to try a few times before you reach that conclusion.

I'm going to expand on this part too.

Part of a healthy relationship is doing your best to keep both of you happy. This means not being a doormat and not being a dictator. How do you find that balance?
It's important to learn yourself, and to be open to experimenting with what you want. I realized that it's important for me to take some time to myself every day without my girlfriend - even just a 20 minute walk. I found this out accidentally when she had an errand to run on a day we were spending together. I went on a walk, and realized that I felt so much more clear minded. Being around her excites me, I'm watching her, thinking about her. When it's just me and my feet, I can breathe for a moment. It seemed unintuitive to me because I want to spend all my time with her.

I am careful not to promise too much. I don't take over her responsibilities. I don't over burden myself. Because if I over stress myself, then I'll be on edge, and I won't make a very good boyfriend.
She wants me to be healthy and happy. When I do things that are bad for my health and make me unhappy for her sake, then I'm not really giving her what she wants.

I trust my girlfriend to be doing the same. Which means that when she offers her help, I know it's a genuine offer. We try not to offer out of obligation.

We also realize that we aren't perfect, and regularly call ourselves out on inappropriate behavior. I'll say, "Oh. I kept asking you if you really wanted to do that thing because I thought you secretly didn't want to and were agreeing because you thought that's what I wanted. But in the end it's your responsibility to live with your answer. It's not my fault if you agree to something you didn't want. Which means that I should trust your answer!"