My boyfriend is a nice, wonderful person, he never, ever gets

>>18409546
Well firstly let's not worry about what's on TV, that's a very superficial thing to compare your life to. Secondly, that sounds extremely odd and maybe you should bring it up with your boyfriend.

>>18409549
I have, but all he says is, I don't make him mad. But I have to make him mad, I am honestly very emotionally volatile, and yell at him sometimes for really stupid, little things, I over analyze things constantly and hes always having to talk me down. I also know he suffers from a deep depression (which he doesn't like to talk about either)

>>18409568
Okay? What do you want out of this situation?

>>18409584
I want to know if this is normal?
Why he would hide this from me
Why he would say I dont' make him mad, I have so many questions.

>>18409591
>why would he hide this

"Hey by the way im a huge asshole and generally surly and no fun to be around."

Sound like something someone will just say? I mean really...

He generally doesn't like people for one reason or another. You are an exception. If you're the one person he can treat with respect and you bring out such a good side in him, why are you trying to piss all over it?

No one wants to be scrooge. Let him be nice and feel positive and be proud you're the one who does that for him.

>>18409591
There's no such thing as normal. And why would he tell you about it? How does that conversation even go? "Yeah so I flipped a shit on one of my co-workers today, just so you know honey." Doesn't seem like something that just naturally comes up.

>>18409607
That's all well and good until they go out to eat and he ends up popping another blood vessel because a waiter messed up his order

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>>18409591
When I am around my friends we just shit talk and are super aggressive towards each other. Growing up my family was like this as well.

When I am with my GF, everything is nice and quiet. I feel calm and relaxed around her and her family. No matter what she does I do not get angry at her. If my friend and her did the exact same thing to try and piss me off. I would only get mad at my friend. Some part of me is incapable of being mad around her.

I don't see how this is an issue. If he is happy and calm around you that is a great thing. You are a calming force to him. Why would you want to change that?

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How is this bad? I'm like that and I'm almost a millionaire.

>>18409546
>>18409568
>>18409591

I suppose I can come from your boyfriends point of view. Been with my girlfriend for years and have never even shouted at her and rarely have arguments even if she's seemingly begging for it. I'm not an asshole to my friends or family or anything but they know to a greater extent than my girlfriend I will quite happily argue with them should the situation arise.

It's not a separation in people that alters this. It's quite simply I can say what I mean to my girlfriend and if she wants an argument she'll still let me walk away and have 5 minutes to ignore her bullcrap. This kind of stops escalation and it's vice versa. Some of my friends will get an issue, refuse a sensible answer and push and push and push until we're both in a full blown shouting fest as nothing has acted as a break to the escalation.

Really probably is just that simple. There's something in your argumentative interactions that allows a cool down for him. Even if it is brief it can be enough to keep civil manners

>>18409591
He has anger issues, and you don't set him off for whatever reason. He doesn't tell you because it's deeply shameful and could potentially ruin his relationship with you.
It's possible that you don't set him off because he knows you so well, that it's easy for him to empathize with you. The ISP woman he just sees as someone who is in his way, who doesn't have off days or corporate expectations or feelings. You are his girlfriend, who gets overemotional but you just mean the best for the both of you.

Personally, I would be incredibly on edge. How long have you been dating? This behavior reminds me of a borderline personality trait of black/white or angel/demon thinking. Not that he has bpd, but that you have a search term if you want to learn more about it. Black/white thinking is a categorizing of the people in his life as "good" or "bad". The "good" people, like you and your family, can do no wrong, and are easily forgiven. The "bad" people can do no right, and are filth beneath his feet.

I would be scared about someday being flipped from one list to the other. Has he ever been in therapy? You mentioned he has depression, and that doesn't like to talk about it. It's not uncommon for depression to manifest as rage in men. It's a way for him to feel in control and let out his emotions in a way that's more socially acceptable than sobbing and moping.

>>18409630
>It's a way for him to feel in control and let out his emotions in a way that's more socially acceptable than sobbing and moping.

I disagree and agree. I agree depression can take the form of anger but do not jump to a conclusion you need to make the guy cry. It would probably act as an irritation and potentially berating. It isn't just "Social acceptance" which dictates this but simply gender does differ with prominent hormones and the psychological effects of these. Ignore most of this post as it's utterly presumptive.

I will end this by simply saying don't start diagnosing this guy with shit you may and probably don't really know anything about. You don't know cause, you don't know extent and you don't know context so if you start looking at him like some psychopath or someone with deep underlying issues you're going to start down a bad path.

>>18409607
yeah but what I have heard from his friends, its night and day.
>>18409620
He has depression and is very on edge, he honestly hides it well but there is always signs hes having anxiety, I thought at first it was just him being fidgity and full of energy, but his friends basically told me, hes suppressing himself constantly...
>>18409624
I don't let him walk away... I'll be perfectly honest, I can be antagonistic. I was never alarmed by him until I found out he threatened his best friend by saying he'll "Drive down to Washington, tie the long hairs on his head to the short hairs on his ass and put him through a fucking wall."
>>18409630
We have been dating off and on for years... this latest time has been 2 years. I'm the only girlfriend hes ever had, his ex was... well an ex fuck buddy, aside from me its all hes ever had is just friends with benefits. He also has treated them completely different from me, he buys me everything I want, listens to me, does things with me, is very affectionate, others he basically had sex with then did friend shit.

>>18409663
>I will end this by simply saying don't start diagnosing this guy with shit you may and probably don't really know anything about.
I wasn't diagnosing him, that's why I said this
>Not that he has bpd, but that you have a search term if you want to learn more about it.

> but do not jump to a conclusion you need to make the guy cry.
Correct, one absolutely should not. If someone has gone to the coping mechanism of rage, that's what they do. You can't force someone to change their coping mechanism.

I still would be freaked out by someone who is capable of screaming at someone until he ruptures a blood vessel in his eye. What happens if I fuck up bad? What happens if I'm on the other end of that screaming?

>>18409684
>We have been dating off and on for years... this latest time has been 2 years.
Why the off times?

>>18409742
again, I can be emotionally volatile. Also I had to move away to help my grandmother, and he didn't want to move to the state I was in.
His friends told me while I was living in that state, he calmed down significantly, I feel like its related sometimes but I dunno.

Maybe the best thing to do is just ask him. Bring it up in a very casual way like

"I bumped into one of your mates the other day and they were wondering if you were alright as you got really pissed off with everyone. Just wondering if every things alright?"

Play it off as a honest curiosity and if he blows it off simply allow him to. Don't push for it. Also know some details in case he pushes to know what you're on about.

>>18409623
This helps to settle lawsuits that may arise from punching various service industry workers for not meeting expectations, I'm sure

>One of his eyes was red and really bloodshot for a while, he told me his cat hit him in the eye, it turns out he ruptured a blood vessel yelling at a woman working for his ISP.

Initially I was inclined to say you were overreacting but then I reached this part. It doesnt matter if you are a "calming force" like others are suggesting, this absolutely is a problem. At a bare minimum it suggests he has issues with empathy, ignoring how retarded it is to lose your temper like that.

>>18409546
>on TV guys always
Real life isn't TV. Those characters are archetypes written to be funny or create conflict.

>>18409591
This is not normal behavior
The combination of his mental health problems, and his trying to hide them from you, makes a volatile combination

>>18409591
Keep pushing him. I'm sure this is important and worth it.

>>18409546
I mean there's two possibilities:

>He's nicer to you because he cares for you
>He's suppressing his true nature not to scare you away.

Time should tell, it's something to keep an eye on, if you haven't known him for very long.