How do you overcome trust issues? My mother abused and neglected

>>18408888

therapy.

>>18408888
You have any female friends? Seems like a way to expose yourself to them in a more comfortable, looser relationship dynamic.

>>18408901

Therapy. And realizing not everyone's your mother. Mostly therapy.

>>18408888

>bitten by a dog
Well you might develop a fear of that particular dog, or maybe that breed, but fearing a breed of dog is stupid if each dog's temperament is different

>mugged by a paki
Oh, you're just racist and stupid, got it.

>>18408901
I'm scared it will be some bored person asking me about my mom
>>18408906
I do, more like acquaintances
>>18408912
Paki isn't a race, silly

>>18408912

you're stupid if you think that your brain doesn't process things visually. people do develop a universal fear of all types of dogs after getting bitten, people tend to be more nervous around other races if they have a bad experience with them and its pretty easy to demonize a gender because of the actions of a few.

the brain isn't inherently rational, your reactions are not your thought processes. you can acknowledge that women aren't all abusive and that paki's arent all muggers but parts of your brain are not going to process that rationalization,.

>>18408933

>im scared it will be some mored person asking me about my mom

so? thats pretty much what therapy is

>>18408933

>I'm scared it will be some bored person asking me about my mom

better to just never seek help then, i mean if they're bored thats pretty much the end of your life right?

>>18408939

No, I think it's stupid because people don't overcome that reaction and come to the realization that no two dogs, nor two people, are the exact same. It's not hard to understand.

>brain isn't inherently rational
>reactions are not thought processes

Okay. Well, I already know that I'm talking to a moron, so it's okay. You can go guide OP on his magical journey to not fear women. I'll be over here, watching you two bond over who's more retarded.

>>18408955

>misquoting someone to prove a point

you've also clearly never studied basic biology.

>>18408955
What are you so mad about? He's right. You can intellectually comprehend that there is no reason to be afraid and still be terrified.

I think you know a lot less than you claim to.

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>>18408965

I quoted you verbatim, dude. I don't know how I can misquote you when I literally said what you said.

>>18408980

You can overcome fear if you try - most people "feel" something and run with it so hard they never look back.

>>18408939

I said:
>your reactions are not your thought processes

you said:
>reactions are not thought processes

Considering English doesn't seem to be your first language I can understand how you might get confused, but unlike whatever backwoods lingo you grew up with one word DOES make a different.

regardless, your reactions are literally not your thought processes. a reaction cannot be a thought process, its literally something you do in response to something else before you think.

your thought processes are you processing what happened instead of reacting to it.

reaction says: this person is a female so she wants to slap me
thought process says: this person is not the same person as my mother and therefore does not want to smack me.

>>18409001

>wow I left out two "yours" so therefore it's incorrect
>since English doesn't ever have an implied "you" for a subject or anything

Okay.

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>>18408993
Ah, so you're one of the
>"just do it!"
>"just be confident!"
>"just be happy!"

types. In other words, your advice is totally useless and comes from a point of view that is incapable of understanding others' difficulties and/or shortcomings. You should stop posting in this thread, you've proven yourself incapable of being helpful.

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>>18409014

As someone who has had fallen through a roof at the age of 5 and gotten over both a fear of heights and structural integrity after cracking my skull open and being hospitalized, and getting over the fears with no therapy and outside help, I am incapable of understanding someone's baser fear of something that is outside their control.

Sure, okay. You guys, the armchair psychologists, can go ahead and explain everything so that OP can make a full recovery from being afraid every woman is going to turn into his mother and treat him like shit for no reason.

Good luck!

>>18408888
I think I can empathize with you on this. I've been hurt by lots of people, especially guys, and it's led to me being scared to trust and not wanting to let myself be vulnerable. I've gotten better, but even now I worry that my boyfriend is cheating on me or doesn't actually love me and it's all a cruel, elaborate joke.

Here's some things that help me push past the fears. First, I recognize that I'm having those feelings. It's okay to have those feelings; trying to deny them doesn't make them go away and usually just makes you feel bad about yourself in addition to feeling afraid. Your brain is really good at trying to keep you safe. If something hurts you, the brain often makes generalizations in order to prevent you from experiencing the same hurt. Great for our ancestors, bad for us in most cases.

Two, recognize why you feel that way. You've already gotten this part down, which is great. It's good to be able to recognize where these feelings are coming from, and why they might be getting triggered in specific situations.

Three, go with only what you know and make as few assumptions as possible. Look at the girl's behavior. Has she, at this point, actually done anything to hurt you or break your trust? Is there actually a reason for you to feel afraid or worried that she's going to hurt you, or is this just feelings from your past coming up because your brain is trying to protect you?

If they're irrational thoughts with no actual evidence backing them (evidence backing up that that specific person is going to break your trust), then it's good to recognize that they're irrational. Also, we do other things that are scary or painful because of the potential good that can come from them, and relationships are no different. As long as we keep ourselves guarded and closed off, true, nobody can hurt us, but we also prevent ourselves from experiencing a closeness and bond with someone that can only be achieved by willfully making the choice to be vulnerable

>>18409005

it literally doesn't in this case, and regardless you were wrong, so there's an implied 'retardation' for you.

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>>18409031

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>>18409005

>I QUOTED YOU VERBATIM!!1!
>EXCEPT FOR HOW I DIDNT BUT THAT WAS ON PURPOSE ITS YOU WHO IS STUPID

jesus christ anon

>>18409020
>I am incapable of understanding someone's baser fear of something that is outside their control.

That was my point, and now you've validated it. I appreciate you leaving.