Guys, what's your take on a girl (not your gf, just a friend)

>>18408699
>do you find it bothersome or pathetic

only if I'm not clapping her cheeks

well what are you getting out of her?

>>18408699
>do you find it bothersome
yes, unless we are fucking regularly. i have my own problems to deal with

>>18408699
It depends. What you are describing is as simple as being friends with a girl. In which case, I'd expect the same thing from her. If she isn't supportive/willing to help me through a problem as I am for her, then it's too one sided for me to actually consider her a friend. If I don't consider someone to be a friend to me, I have zero interest in helping them through their problems.

>>18408699

>is she a good friend
It's not annoying.

>she can't solve any of her own problems and mindlessly comes to you for everything, like suggestions for dinner when you live in different towns

Then it's annoying as fuck.

>>18408730
I'm the girl in this scenario. I often reach out to my male acquaintance when I feel overwhelmed with problems. He usually shares some of his grievances with me but I don't know what he thinks about my complaining. Last time when I complained to him and apologised for that, he said not to worry and that I can go to him with my problems whenever I want to, but I can't tell if he was just being polite or really meant it.

>>18408699
If I hang out with this girl a lot and she's actually my friend it's completely fine. If she mainly dumps emotional baggage on me I'm a beta orbiter.

>>18408814

>male acquaintance

So he's not even your friend?

>>18408699
Get drunk with him and suck his dick.
Your friendship will probably stay the same (no, really) and he won't feel so used.

Don't have sex with him though, for some reason that fucking changes things.

>>18408860
I don't know, we aren't crazily close. Just talk from time to time.

>>18408868

You don't have to be crazy close for them to be your friend - but if you guys only talk occasionally and he lets you dump your problems on him, he probably likes you in some fashion.

>>18408875
Then it looks like we are friends. But I still worry I bother him. It's so hard to tell what he thinks about me using him as my emotional support.

>>18408814
so it's ok if he claps your cheeks I suppose?

>>18408699
Maybe she sees me as the most emotionally developed friend that she has? Maybe I'm a better talker than other people?

What is your actual mindset for why you would turn to this friend when things get tough?

>>18408897
He doesn't do that.

>>18408899
I just trust him in a special way. He seems to always keep his cool, and he seems very strong and stable emotionally too. And I like him.

>>18408913
would be nice if he does tho
right
that hard dick inside you....

Sounds to me like you are leading someone on.
How about you ask him how he feels about you?
He probably thinks he has a chance to get in your pants.

It bothers me, I don't take any joy from "being there" for someone or supporting someone who tells me their problems, because when I needed that myself, no one has ever been there for me.
I had to be the emotional support and shoulder to cry on for many people and I hate it. I give them advice and they reject it like I'm an idiot for even suggesting it, I feel like I'm their scratching post. I feel the same way about this for guys and girls.

>>18408957
Oh, fuck off.

>>18408975
I don't see how am I leading him on. I doubt he has a crush on me, he doesn't strike me as a person who get crushes easily and after all we aren't that close.

>>18408978
Fair enough, but sometimes he cries on my shoulder too.

>>18408699
No because I'm not a heartless fuck.

Sometimes friends need help. If someone is so much of an emotionless bastard to ignore a friends problems then they don't deserve friends.

>>18409016
>Fair enough, but sometimes he cries on my shoulder too.
That's good I guess. Either way I think the most important thing is to know when to stop and when you are causing an emotional weight to the other person.

>>18409058
I don't want to overwhelm him with my problems, obviously. But it looks like he doesn't mind helping me out, what worries me tho is that he might be putting up with me only out of politeness.

>>18408699

I see it as a sign of disrespect.
I'm her emotional tampon. Her substitute boyfriend when the guy she hateloves does something (or nothing) that ends up aggravating her.

Though, to be fair, if a girl acted this way around me she'd just hear "none of my business" over and over again.

>>18409194 is me.

It's also worth mentioning that I used to like it.

I felt useful, felt like it was nice to be appreciated (especially by a girl, I used to get called "creepy" alot as a teen).

But I'm too old and cynical to give a shit anymore.

At the end of the day, I'm being treated like a therapist except for the goddamn pay. All I am to her is a bunch of ears.

As long as she doesn't over do it its fine. Friendship should be about having fun and shit. As long as it happens on the side and isn't the main reason of contact it'll probably be fine. Keep the fun in. Everyone needs help sometimes ;)

Also, it can build trust which might create a stronger bond.

>>18409194
I see your point, but I never complain to him about other men.

>>18408814
Some of my best friends are my friends wives. I find it easier to talk to girls than guys.

31 years old.

Never talk about feelings.

Go bat shit crazy and put on meds.

Still dont talk to guys about feelings.

It'll get annoying eventually when he realises you're not going to give him the pussy

i usually dont give support, i give you my opinion if you are interested
every women does this btw

you arent a friend if you only seek his company when you are in trouble