>start pressure washing patio at 1pm >have break at 3:30

>get told I never help around the house and that I've done fuck all work on the patio despite her saying it was looking good only a couple of hours before
>she literally saw me doing the patio for about two hours straight
>says "so because of this letter you don't have to help around the house anymore", calls me a burden
>still chooses to ignore the fact that I had zero problem with doing the patio for more than two hours and would have continued and have never once refused to help around the house on "mental health grounds" or whatever
>autistic rage intensifies
>start throwing shit around the kitchen like a retard, hit frying pan against fridge
>mum is still screaming at me about doing the patio and how I've done a shit job/barely anything, again despite her praising it just a few hours earlier
>dad restrains me, start full on freaking out like an autist at this point, get dragged out the room, throwing stuff with my feet and shit while screaming

I'm a shit person , aren't I?

>letters confirm that I can suspend my uni placement until such a time that I am mentally recovered (september next year) to return to study

>>18408462

based on that, I don't think you're a shit person.

yes you have anger issues, but your parents are out of line.

>>18408249
you're probably in the US so you can't support yourself financially, but maybe you gotta bear it until you can.

>at this point I fly into an autistic rage and try to force the door open, start repeatedly slamming head against window

yeah that is pretty autistic. Frustrating sure but from a personal point of view to yourself, smashing your head on a window really does nothing for yourself except maybe let you vent your frustrations in a dumb way in only that small moment of time.

Plan out a few long-term options, as feasible as you can make them, and start working towards it. Won't be easy but it's probably the best route you have.

>>18408249

where are you, and what damaged you?

Your parents are emotional abusive, OP. You've been though a lot and it is time for healing. See a therapist, your uni likely offers it.
I dont have any advice except to cut them out of your life as soon as possible. This will be hard but its for the best.

>>18408562
Thing is, I don't know how black and white it is. I get on with them both really well when they're having a good day, but I straight up can't handle what are essentially lies ("why don't you just fucking clean the patio" when I've literally spent all afternoon on it). My mother also seems to view my mentioning her history of paranoia to the doctor as part of the scientific process as some kind of insult, even though, as I always point out, that kind of autistic hypersensitivity is a trademark of mental instability.

>>18409292
I'll also admit that I have trouble keeping my room clean for reasons I'm not fully sure of. My mother has an obsession with keeping every corner of the house in immaculate condition and has openly called my room "distressing".

>>18408479
>you're probably in the US so you can't support yourself financially

what does this mean?

>>18409560
It's nearly impossible to support yourself in America in a place people might actually want to live (ie not some hick town).

T. American

>>18408536
What's it to you?

>>18408249
OP, this is a serious and (I hope) constructive question, not a challenge: How objectively accurate is your reportage of this incident?

There are elements in it that sound a little more like your angry memory than what actually happened. (For example, were your parents quite as obscene as you quote them?)

You admit to having an anger problem. In addition to affecting your emotions, it can affect your perceptions - when you (or anyone) are angry, you are likely to misread the words and actions of others as more antagonistic than they are.

One of the things you can be taught in Anger Management is how to prevent rage from taking over you. But another important thing is how to keep rage from distorting your perceptions of what others do, and thus keep you from getting angry at something which might not actually be there.