I got a new job, and while I can be pretty social and friendly,

>>18407661
>yet they come to him like flies to honey.
you'll catch more flies with shit

maybe he ia good at asking the right questions. if you get people to open up to you, they will instantly feel connected. you need to be able to pick up the smallest clue and develope it into a conversation. for example, a co-worker of mine once mentioned that she has a horse. since then, i can easily get her to talk for hours because i know what to ask. it's really easy once you get the hang of it. once she has talked to me for a while, she automatically started to give me more personal information i could spin off new and more intimate conversations. as a result, we sre now rather "close", since she tells me stuff she doesn't tell anybody else, simply because i am good at asking the right questions in the roght tone at the right moment and get people to share very personal stuff. it's almost automatical that people like other they have shared personal stories with since they now have to somehow keep them close to keep track on how they use that information. might sound cold and calculated, but that's how humans work.

Maybe you're just boring.

Then again perhaps the other guy's good with building a rapport with others. He notices small details a person had said or had in themselves and able to give it the attention and spotlight to develop it further. That's why you might mistakenly see him as apathetic and pushy assholes, while in truth he's simply more attentive and bold than you.

>>18407661
As already mentioned, try to really get to know people. Don't be shy to ask what drives them and most important how they feel about certain things. Always mention feelings because emotional talks are connecting and interesting. And get to know their story, what they have done earlier, where they lived, about their families and so on. Talking about the weather connects you with noone, if it's not the entry to a more interesting topic. But they those usually come automatically. Just keep asking them and keep it going

>>18407669
Lmao that's a good one.
>>18407672
That's good, thanks man, I'll try to focus on these things more.

>>18407679
Maybe you're right, like I said, I'll try to pay more attention.

Also how would I know if I'm boring, and how to fix it? I try to use gestures and express emotion when I can if that helps.

>>18407687
Alright man, thanks, I'll keep on trying. This whole thing is new to me so maybe I'm just bad at finding the right topics.

>>18407709
>Also how would I know if I'm boring, and how to fix it? I try to use gestures and express emotion when I can if that helps.
If people not willing to give their time and day to you, or perhaps just want to leave in hurry those are surefire signs you're boring.
Gestures and emotions are helping, but since people care about themselves more, if you still fail to ask the right questions to make them talk more, then it's ultimately useless.

>>18407767
Alright man thanks, I'll work on that.