I'll hook you scrolling guys first by saying this is about

The problem is this teenage girl has inevitably sort of calmed down on her teacher crush and doesn't talk to me nearly as much, and at times even seems to be happy to see me or totally avoiding me around other students. It's clear something has changed, and it bothers me. Again, I'm self aware enough to understand I just want things to remain the same as they were from December through the height of her teacher crush, and have that sort of middle ground relationship, but it's naturally impossible that it would proceed and go so smoothly, and it's selfish and crazy to assume she's just not gonna become interested in male classmates and such.

Anyway the point is
TL;DR: I'm obsessed with / in love with this student. Half of me wants to just milk it and enjoy it while it lasts to fill the void, other half knows it's wrong to even think this way. Meanwhile I'm getting depressed by the fact that she's colder now than before.

It's all a brain fuck and I don't know how to handle it.

>>18404671

You need to take a vacation from work and be around women your own age.
I'm betting that your hormones are growing excessive from lack of female attention and it'll only get worse if you don't take a break and try to let off steam elsewhere. First and foremost, realize that she is still a kid no matter what your hormones try to rationalize. Her brain is underdeveloped and she doesn't know what she really wants at all.
It can be hard when your personal life is lacking so maybe try taking up a new hobby that will place you in adult crowds more and help you build healthy chemistry with a woman of an appropriate age.
You're still fairly young so maybe taking a part time night class at a college doing something fun. At least then the women in your class will be legal.

Taking it a step further into the "self awareness", despite saying it's 'just filling the temporary void' naturally I have had thoughts of waiting until she graduates, getting contact info, then when she comes of age advancing the relationship. That ridiculous hope does also exist. But of course digressing to the fact that she's not nearly as blatantly into me as before, that thought process is just creating more disappointment in the inevitability of how unrealistic that becoming a reality is.

>>18404695
Valid input. We have summer vacation coming up in mid July though August which will inevitably be a good break away. Whether or not I can find an affordable summer class or something is a different story though.

>>18404704

It doesn't have to be a class, the idea is just group situations where you would be around more than one potential gf in your age range.
She gave you attention when you were low and it boosted you. the dopamines went to your head. you became dependant on that attention and she (as teen girls often do) has likely found a new crush already.
You can find someone new, just because your ex was a terrible person it doesn't mean you can't find something deep and meaningful with another grown woman. You need to feel loved and secure, you're not going to find that in an adolescent crush

>>18404671
didn't you make this thread before
what is the address of the Japanese school are you teaching at? this info is relevant for advice.

>>18404722
No I haven't, and I teach in South Korea you were close.

>>18404717
Thanks for that rationale. I don't know if it's going to make a huge difference, but I'll work to remember your statement when the student starts to consume my thoughts too much. It really is probably largely a dopamine addiction moreso than any real honest "love".