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25 y/o former kissless virgin here. Been with my first girlfriend for almost a year now. Everything went great for the first half year except a few things I noticed some people might constitute red flags but I waved them off because of the absence of more (for example, less than a month in she told me that she ghosts people if they make her mad, no matter how close she is to them; this has yet to be done to me.)
I've begun to notice a lot of problems that I either did not notice or chose to ignore early on. She is very insecure about my love towards her and needs constant reaffirmation, verbally and physically, and if there is any, ANY down time for either of us, she wants to be together. I cannot stand any of this, I need alone time quite often and it's driving me insane, and I have tried to tell her as much but she keeps changing the subject to me not loving her enough. It's getting frustrating to have no personal time as well as be constantly doubted. She asks if I'm with another girl any time I say that I just need some alone time, and after I say no she passes it off as joking.
I have tried to talk to her about this and have failed. She is getting upset at me more often, over stupid stuff like a friendly game of tennis where one of us sees a ball in and one sees it as out.
I am beginning to question the longevity of this relationship but because it's my first one I have no standard to compare it to and so I'm unsure of what to do. I can't continue like this, but I don't know if it's to the point where I should end it. I want to find somebody to spend my life with and I am questioning whether or not it's this person, and if I have these questions, is it fair for me to tie her down to myself for any longer.
What do?
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>>18403656
No way would a shitty flip phone be able to take a picture like that.
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>if he won't spend every single moment with me or watching me then he doesn't love me
Lol guessing your gf is a fan of twilight.
I don't think it's gonna work out chief, and that's OK. You were charming enough to get a gf this time, you'll get another.
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>>18403656
Dump your gf. You don't seem happy with her. She isn't willing talk about it. You can find another girl for sure
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>>18403656
Tell your gf that she has this illness called CLINGY GF. Meaning that her life turned into:
>sleep
>school/work
>boyfriend
>sleep
Once she turns it into
>you dont love me
hug her tightly and tell her
>but you love me too much
and dont let the embrace go. Try to explain to her, that you have activities you like to do alone and liat them all (fapping included).
Girls are illogical, emotion first creatures. That is why she must feel secure in your hug before she will be able to accept any logic. Tell her she is still your sexy qtie, that she is your first everything, but that her love combined with insecurity is killing you. Dont dare to let the hug end and explain to her both you and her need time alone to pursue other things in life. And end it with proposition to move in together.
Seriously you need to live with her 1+ year MINIMUM to see how bitchy, jealous, crazy and insecure she is. Maybe if she will be able to cuddle you each morning and night she will turn ok.
Kick your relationship to next level. And be prepared to drop her if she gets worse.
Remember, use emotions as weapon against girls. Hugs, cuddles, flowers, asking on dates instead of arguments. She has to feel secure and loved before you can tell her anything.
Dont impregnate or marry her before 1+ year of living together.
Good luck.
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It's a case of two people not being at the same standard of relationship.
She obviously loves you way more than you love her. That's not exactly bad, but it's indication that it's time to seperate. If you TRULY loved her, you wouldn't mind her company, no matter how clingy.
The real problem lies in this:
If you see this as a "just for fun" relationship, then nothing is wrong. She is just expecting something that you aren't giving. Nothing wrong with that.
If you are looking for a "I want to marry/be with this girl." relationship then you don't love her as much as you think you do. End it.
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>>18403908
I disagree. I believe it's related to introverts vs extroverts. Introverts recharge by having some alone time. Time to relax or alone time is essential for them and does not indicate they love someone any less. Extroverts recharge by being around people. Couple that with insecurities and you have a whole new dynamic. I'm an introvert and my wife who's an extrovert totally understood this and was not clingy or jealous of this when we dated or now that we're married. We respect that in each other. We spend quality time together and apart when she does things with her friends and I just chill.
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