Hey /adv/, I come to you once more for some friend advice!

File: 1465787719314.jpg (55KB, 640x572px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 640x572px

Anyways, 2 months have passed without a word from my side. He has made plenty of attempts to communicate, and just today he sent a message to my sister asking if I was ok, which put him back in my mind. I thought that he would have said "fuck it" by now, but turns out I was wrong. Now, on one side I don't regret my decision to cut communications - I have changed and I don't see how I could have him as such a close friend anymore. I found him lacking on some aspects that I considered too important, like support. On the other hand, however, I feel like I took some unwarranted measures, and I don't really feel like I need to completely cut him off. I have been tangled with some fucked up people in the past, and, while this friend has his negatives, I don't think he is a "bad person" or that he deserves all this I put him through. After all, we did spend plenty of time together these 3 years, and while I've grown to expect more, I don't feel like I need to completely burn that bridge. I have done a bunch of self-reflection recently, and I've concluded that my socializing needs a lot of work - that includes maintaining a wide social circle and not just cutting off everyone.
So, wat do /adv/? How do I contact this dude again and get back in touch without him just telling me to fuck off for disappearing? How do I handle this situation and try to keep him in my social circle without completely cutting him off and without becoming "too close" friends again?
Everytime I've been in this dilemma in the past I picked the disappearence route, so I really don't know how to go about talking again to him and trying to make amends. I really don't want to lie or make unneeded apologies to him - I could tell him I've been abroad after all, and it's partly true, but I wanna avoid the bullshit as much as possible.

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this!

>>18401647
damn she's so pretty.

Sometimes your life goes in a different direction than your friends. It happens to everyone.

The best thing you can so is be honest with him. Tell him that you appreciate him sticking by you through your worst moments, and that his friendship helped you pull through and make a positive change, and that you will forever be grateful for that..

BUT, he has to realize that some of these changes you've made might not sit well with him - so explain that you want him to be happy for you because it's in part thanks to him that you pulled yourself out of a shitty period in your life.

Showing him gratitude and explaining the reason behind your change in behavior will mean the world to him, allow you to keep your friendship and still continue to better yourself.

He stuck by you, so you can return the favor. All friendships go through rough periods. It's worth it to stick it out

>>18401658
Thanks a lot for the reply mate, that was fast!
So, you'd suggest that I act straightforward and honest with him, explain to him why I've been gone and what I've been thinking, and hope for the best? I'm trying to formulate what I'm gonna message him, as I want to maintain a balance and not let this devolve into a blame game, or just exchange a couple of fuckyous and stop talking permanently. I got lots of things of his that I could point out that caused me to get mad and stop communicating, but I'm not looking to correct him or his behavior after all - I've concluded that I'm not looking for him to change, but for our friendship. On the other hand, I don't want to get shit on for disappearing, and that looks like a legitimate possibility at this point. What would you say?
Again, thanks for the help, appreciate it!

>>18401715

I think you should apologize for the lack of communication. You said yourself you took unwarranted measures.

Be humble about it and make sure he knows his friendship is still valuable to you. It's not about who did what. It's about keeping someone in your life who, although they have pissed you off in the past, has nonetheless been a good friend to you.

Make him understand why what he did made you feel that way while still expressing that you want to stay friends. I'm sure he will understand as long as you emphasize your gratitude and apologize for being harsh with him.

>my best friend
>who I met in college

lmao what a pathetic life
all my friends i've known them since I was 4 fucking years old, even the girls

Not nurturing your old friendships and keeping them as your best friends is a massive fucking red flag

>>18401850
Yeah, I get what you mean. To be honest, I haven't really made up my mind as to what I want my friendship to be with the guy. I do wanna get back in touch and the scenario where he's back in my circle sounds good at first, but, after all, the reasons I stopped talking to him are still there. Then again, I can't just keep avoiding him forever, so I guess coming clean is my best call. I just have to decide where I wanna go from there.

>>18402665
>all my friends i've known them since I was 4 fucking years old, even the girls
That's ok if you are still in highschool, or if you have never left your hometown. I've got a handful of good friends I've kept in touch with since forever, but life has taken its due course and most of them are currently studying abroad (including a good friend that I've known since before we went to primary school, and is now studying 6000 kilometers away), so I get to see them every couple of months at best. Judging by your post, you have probably yet to go to college, so you'll probably see what I'm talking about in a couple of years.
Otherwise, damn dude, you need to evolve. Still chilling with the same people from kindergarden? Have you met other people? at all?