i think i'm done with puttin other's feels above my

>>18396703
as soon as you say these things, expect people to forever despise you

>>18396703
it doesn't make you an asshole but you need to understand that a key component of a successful relationship is communication. bottling it up and then releasing it all at once like this is not conducive to a healthy relationship.

Also you should NEVER put anyone above yourself.

>>18396703
Do it. Wish I had. Now I'm married to a garbage breathed motherfucker who also can't understand why I might want my own bed. Not like he ever wants to fuck anymore anyway.

>>18396703
It doesn't make you an asshole at all.

>>18396703
Depends on how you do it.
Communicate openly and honestly.
Also tell this idiot to brush his tongue.

>>18396712
tell him a random on the internet says he needs to go to a throat doc about tonsil stones, and gargle the old school stinging mouthwash.

>tfw seperate beds would fuck you up.
you can't get a bigger bed so you have space OP? like a compromise cause you might sleep better but he might start sleeping like shit.

>>18396703
Good for you, advocating for yourself is not the same thing as being selfish.

>>18396703
you know, there are healty things you can do when you are bored other than cheating or staring drama

>>18396800
It's his teeth, they're horrible. The outcome of old school European dentistry, I guess. We've got a king size, that's my compromise. Still would love to sleep a night without the farts that always drift my way every night.

>>18396707
so what am i supposed to do?
toss and turn all night?
kiss a hole that smells like shit and pretend to even like it?

let his mom stick her nose into stuff that is none of her business?

i don't know, that seems like a very bad option.

>>18396703
my parents don't sleep together because my dad snores but they have a 10/10 relationship otherwise so i think this is a fine personal decision of yours.

as far as the bad breath part goes, i'm guessing that bf maybe has tonsil stones. they cause constant bad breath and are fairly common.

>>18396711
i haven't bottled it up. my attempts to communicate it without hurting someone's feels just don't have any effect.

>>18396742
i've told him. he did it once and never again.

>>18396800
i told him about tonsil stones and he uses mouth water. he brushed it off, so idk what else to do.

we have a god damn HUGE bed. but i still can't sleep. i need my own.

>>18396817
wtf does that have to do with anything i said?

>>18396902
what if one person thinks that is a clear sign of a shit relationship no matter what i tell him?

i told him that but he just ignores it.

let's get this straight:

separate beds and even bedrooms were the norm for all married couples bar the proles and plebs of western societies. (who cares about the others?) why are the modern middle classes so ostinately following these low-class habits I don't know. a reflection of their inner peasant, probably.

in fact, there's reason to believe this also led to increased marital harmony for the reasons OP has diagnosed, despite the tendency to >muh feels.

bad breath may be a sign of sinus or digestive issues rather than poor dental hygiene. eating dairy products, smoking or alcohol can exacerbate this, try getting him to cut down or check with the doctor next time he goes?

>>18396938
i'm aware of this, but i can't reason with him about it because muh feels. he has sadly bought into the romantic and naive ideology of modern relationships where "if you would love me, you would want to clig to me 24/7". i have no clue how to deal with this since everytime i try to talk about it with him he just gets butthurt and thinks i "don't love him". when all i want i some GOD DAMN SLEEP.

problem is, he's very healthy. no alcohol, no smoking, fairly good diet, exercise, decent oral hygiene. and i told him about tongue cleaning and tonsil stones. but i haven't told him that his mouth reeks like a sewer, because that will most likely put him into autistic overdrive.
i don't know where to draw the line between things that villate my own boundaries and being considerate about others feels. i feel like both are important, so what am i supposed to do if i can't find a compromise? i'm willing to "mmet in the middle" almost always. but somehow, willingly expose myself to sleep deprivation and kissing someone that disgusts me are too far gone from what i'm willing to sacrifice. i tried everything regarding the sleeping, except separate beds. it's been two years now and getting only 4h of sleep a night is having a serious toll on me.

>>18396959
well then, you need to work on your communication skills and start breaking it to him gently... good luck.

>>18396977
i don't think my communication skills aren't good enough.
how do you break it to someone gently that their mouth stinks when you know exactly that they take everything personal?

i told him gently that i can't sleep at night because i would need my own bed, but i feel like he's ignoring it unless i tell him that i's just exhausted and will sleep on the couch tonight. that will cause a huge drama, and idk, i don't need that either.

>>18396959

Is breaking up not an option if you're unable to sleep and don't want to be near him?

>>18397016
no, breaking up is not an option since i do love him.
i do not NOT want to be near him. if he would have a bearable smelling mouth i would want to make out with him very much.
and i don't think it's uncommon for people to not be able to sleep with somebody else in their bed. i've always been a very light sleeper and i take a long time to fall asleep. havig someone interrupt me constantly (slight sight, snore, tossing, turning, drinking water, checking time, going to the toilett, nesting with the blanket, wanting to cuddle, touching me) just makes it almost impossible for me to reach deep sleep. i wake up countless times every night and feel like shit every morning. itms no use to continue like that and he's not doing anything wrong. neither am i. i've talked about this with my doc and i don't need medication or anything. i sleep just fine on my own. i'm simply incapable of sharing a bed.

My gf would not kiss me because i had bad breath. She told me and i went to the dentist and got a check up. Turns out i had a tooth infection which i did not know about because it did not even hurt.

>>18397040
yeah, that's how mature humans deal with this. he takes it as a personal attack and an excuse for me to reject him. how do i handle this?

>>18397047
bad joojoo, anon.

if he doesn't understand anything from your point of view, you're in for a rough ride further down the line, sad to say.

>>18396703
You're on the way to becoming a whore and cheating on him. Keep going

>>18397086
then tell me, oh wise anon, how a girl who's not a cheating whore in the making would handle this?

>>18396703
>i think i'm done with puttin other's feels above my own well being.
You should never do it in first place, unless your well being is up to do something bad to others, which doesn't seens to be the case.
>i can not sleep next to my bf but he has always said that he thinks it's the last straw for couples to have separated beds.
That's bullshit, relationships starts with people living apart each other and its probably the best moment of every relationship, everybody needs space.
>i'm also going to tell him that he has bad breath and that's why i can not bring myself to kiss him. he has decent oral hygiene, but somehow it's not enough and i'm disgusted.
Probably something is wrong with oral health, or his oral hygiene is not decent as you think, either way, tell him to go to a dentist.
>further, i'm going to tell his mom to mind her own business.
That's actually a huge red flag in your relationship, all the people who had parents directly involved in their relationship, got splited up at some point, i'm going to assume by what you described that your bf is a manchild, how old are you both?

>>18397131
Idk, OP sounds like she's gonna dicked down by someone else soon enough. Break up with the fuck if you dislike him so much...goddamn women are fucking stupid. Stop thinking with your fucking emotions for once. I know its hard but you have a fucking brain for a reason.

>>18397030
Congrats, you are a hyper dumb bitch.

>>18396703
hey I had the same issue with my bf having awful breath. Turned out that he had a HUGE cavity that was rotting his whole tooth away. He had to get it pulled. Tell him to go to the dentist! My bf no longer has the breath of death

>>18397313
She never said she disliked him, she have a pretty good point, nobody want to kiss a smelly mouth, that's an easily fixable issue and not a excuse to dump someone.
>>18397030
Light sleeper here(and man btw), i think that's main reason why avoid relationships so much, the thought of sharing a bed with somebody who is unquiet or noisy give me nightmares, have you explained to him the reason why you want to sleep by yourself?
>>18396712
>>18396821
How did you get to this point?! Those should be issues that pop off at the beginning of a relationship right?! Have you ever talking about it with him tho? Don't let it eat you from inside, or destroy your marriage, communication is the key of every sucessful relationship.

>>18397532
yes, i have tried to explain to him why i would need a separate bed in every way i could think of. i tried to make him understand that lack of dleep is driving me insane and that i can only sleep when i'm alone in a bed. he still insists that if i would love him, i would want to sleep next to him. so i try to tell him that the issue is not that i don't WANT to sleep next to him, i simply CAN'T. but he's very deaf on that ear...

File: chin.png (2KB, 56x71px) Image search: [Google]

2KB, 56x71px

who said this is a women

>>18397647
i do now and i'm op. also, it wouldn't change anything if i wasn't.

>>18397641
Fuck No! Turn that card around on him so quick! "If you actually loved me then you would care that I can't sleep at night." Just constantly turn that shit back around to him not loving you.

And you need to shut down that mom shit with the quickness because she's probably feeding him a bunch of this shit ("loving couples sleep in the same bed" and obviously didn't teach him proper oral hygiene). Be warned, telling his mom off could be the end of your relationship even if he isn't a manchild (which I'm really doubting here)

>>18397679
And if he's seriously going to break up with you because you want to get proper sleep, then pull that guy into a guilt trip, "I guess our relationship isn't what I thought it was."
It might hurt you, but do you seriously want to spend the rest of your life with somebody so inconsiderate to your needs?

>>18397641
I honestly think that your relationship is doomed, you said that you love him, but the question is, for how long? Could you actually be with a person who is always putting their personal selfish needs above you?! the mom situation just makes everything worse, either give him an ultimatum or just turn your back and don't look back.

>>18396703
Prolly has a cavity or needs better toothpaste. My fucking wife snores like a wildabeast and wont wake up to jer 20 allarms and is a royal cunt if i wake her up tho. I almost always sleep on the couch.

15 years and its a daily argument but wtf ever.

Do wtf u want. Mayne try and comprimise like on your day off share a bed or let u fall asleep before he goes to bed or get drunk and pass out sometimes.

But a bed of my own is something i havemt ever even had. Would be glorious

>>18398314
Man up.

>>18396703
Mom doesn't suck his dick. Get him case of mints