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Please psychoanalyze me and explain why my sex life is messed up.
I'm married and I don't look forward to sex. My husband is amazing but I just don't want to do it. I've never been eager to have sex in past relationships either.
I do get horny and think about sex a lot, but I'd rather sneak away and get myself off alone than have sex with anyone. When I do it alone it's quicker and my orgasm is a lot stronger.
I can only get off with my vibrator. I don't insert anything, just hold it up to myself.
When I have sex, we like plenty of positions like doggie, sideways (whatever it's called), sex on counters, against walls, showers, missionary, cowgirl, he also does oral on me and we do anal. Specifically when I'm going to get off, I usually straddle him or pose doggie style while we have sex or he fingers me, and I use the toy.
My theory is that his discomfort makes me nervous and makes me enjoy the orgasm less. Sometimes his arm/back gets tired with the fingering, or sometimes he loses his erection when we're having sex (in the position that I take so I can use the vibe). Sometimes just the way I'm sitting on him makes him grunt and need me to shift. Or during doggie with my toy I need to scoot this way or that.
Last time we had sex I started having a great orgasm and in the middle of it I accidentally scratched his nipple and he shrieked and then complained that I'd also been leaning on his chest too hard. I feel bad but my nails aren't even long. I don't know what I could have done better. I already worry about that shit so it was just another confirmation.
I just wish I could mentally stop thinking of sex as a chore. I want to 'want' to have sex.
help
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>>18396289
Maybe you're just a lesbian
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desensitisation to pornography
stop the porn
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I'm sorry but the way you describe your husband makes it look like he's terrible in bed. Also you mention "his discomfort", what's that about? I think you could benefit from talking that out with your husband. Also consider some counseling or guides, just to earn some perspective about how other people may do the same stuff you already do but in different ways, or maybe try to improve his stamina somehow? I've never come across a minimally experienced guy who would get tired before getting me off a few times.
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It baffles me how people end up married with someone they're not sexually compatible...
You two apparently don't have the same tastes in bed. You also probably have lowered your clit's sensibility with all that vibe. I know it's awesome, my gf loves it too, but using it every time to get off isn't exactly good.
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have you had a baby?
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>>18396421
Not OP, but I'm not sure if clit desensitization is a thing at all, at least not for everyone. Ever since I had a tendonitis on my hand that cured badly I cannot cum with my own fingers because the position/tension makes it hurt too much before I get there, so I've been using vibrators and a magic wand in an almost daily basis for over 6+ years. This hasn't interfered with having sex, in fact it takes me less time on avg to orgasm from someone else's hands than my Hitachi.
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