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My friend is constantly coming to me with advice about her boyfriend, and I can never truely be honest with her, and its starting to bug me. Shes super cool and nice to me, but she has this sad sack of a boyfriend who went from being literally the sweetest guy in the world (He once took her, and me and and another friend to dinner and a movie, paid for it all, then bought us stuff when we just shown slight interest in it.) to this walking zombie of a man who has been so scooped out and emptied by her, he doesn't even, interact on a human level anymore. She now just drags him around, he barely talks, he has none of the jolly nature he once had, no spirited conversation, you ask him anything, he just parrots back stuff she has told him to say.
and yet she wonders why he doesn't talk to her about anything, have any opinions about things, have any motivation, dreams, drive, why he doesn't seem to want to have sex with her anymore, and why he spends his free time zoning, spacing out, or just laying down.
She has killed this man, and is dragging around his corpse, and it is the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life, because before him being emptied out, he was such a nice guy, her friends (me and a few others) stayed single, because being around them was like having a perfect boyfriend already. We're talking about a guy who canceled going to a baseball game with his friends, because he found a kitten and needed to take care of it, because it needed to be bottle fed.
what do I say to her when she asks me for advice...
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>>18395484
How the fuck did that happen??? How was she responsible?
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>>18395484
how long have they been together? honestly its really not your responsibility to manage their relationship, start telling her whats up or just stay out of it.
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>>18395497
Shes extremely demanding, and very irrational and easily angered. He would just always give her what she wants, and admittedly he was immature which *could* be frustrating, but it was mostly part of his charm, how sweet he was was part of it.
Basically she conditioned him to be this way, if he tried to express himself, she would tear him down, shown any sign of discontent, tear him apart, if he tried to leave, she would guilt him into staying, then do the whole process over again. Hes now just... a zombie, and its sad, he always seems to be mentally somewhere else, he doesn't do any of his old hobbies, he just works, buys her things with hopes she doesn't explode on him, and zones out all day.
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>>18395484
You don't sound like much of a friend to this girl. If you stood around complacent watching her suck the soul out of this dude then you're just as guilty as her for his current state. On the positive side, you're only seeing like a portion of their relationship, he could be completely different behind closed doors.
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>>18395519
He sounds spineless and overbearing. Their relationship just worsened their personality types because of comfort and wanting to maintain the status quo. She was comfortable being a bitch and he was comforted being a doormat.
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Ha, I remember being in this exact situation
Drop her as a friend. If she asks why you're not around say you're busy. If she confronts you directly to ask for advice, just be straight and say "I'm not a shrink, there's only so much I can do.". If she gets pissed off, forget her. You're not a shoulder for her to cry on.
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