Is there any point in trying to get help for mental health issues

I can't think of a sufficiently neat and painless method of suicide that my mom wouldn't find out about, so I'm currently trying to look up methods to give myself some terminal illness.

At the time AIDS seems easiest and the most likely, but that's going to mean sex with strangers which I do not want to do.

>>18393428
I don't know why you would want to give yourself aids that's a terrible way to die. If you could elaborate what exact kind of mental illness are you being "treated" for?

>>18393458
Well I was supposed to be treated for the depression but currently 100% of the focus is on keeping me from drinking.

So I'm visiting the clinic to take an antabuse twice per week.

I drink despite of the antabuse and vaguely hope that it's going to give me an organ shut down or something.

>>18393401
what kind of fucked up mental healthcare have you been to where they want to hide your symptoms?

>>18393428

your ignorant ass should do it just for this ignorant statement. You don't understand a single thing about HIV and your chance of contracting it from unprotected straight penetrative sex is 0.04%. Waiting long enough for your HIV to become classified as AIDS will be torture. You have a higher chance of dying due to an illness caught by your weakened immune system than from AIDS. When you do eventually start to die due to the AIDS it's going to cause mental disfunctions, loss of control of your bladder, you're not going to be able to eat or drink anything so you'll literally starve to death, your body will likely form some type of cancer, and you're going to get sores all over you.

Fuck you OP, just get mental help you're pathetic.

>>18393475
Well the drinking can definately be linked to your depression but I never thought medication was a good method of fighting alcoholism or depression. Is it strictly the alcoholism they're worried about or did you have a history of depression unrelated to the drinking?

>>18393495
Free mental health care. Every time you come there with a problem that has a symptom, they just pour all the energy into making sure you stop having that symptom.


They've treated me for cutting myself, for drinking, for suicide-attempts, for a long list of visible shit that I do, but the goal is always to make it stop being visible.

And instead of yelling at me, why won't you suggest a nicer illness that's easier to aquire?

>>18393506
the nicer illness is called fixing whatever is wrong with you instead of taking the pussy way out like a bitch.

>>18393510
That's not gonna happen.

They don't give a shit for as long as you know how to scream with your mouth closed. And they'll just poke and pester at you until you do.

And because I'm still rational enough to not need to be tortured back into it, I'm healthy enough to not require treatment from them.

>>18393475
Nah antabuse just speeds up the conversion of alcohol into the metabolite that causes the symptoms of a hangover.

>>18393506
This whole illness thing is very disingenuine of a suicidal person. If someone were to commit suicide I'd expect them to just get it over with as quick and painlessly as possible because they're absolutely hopeless but the fact that you want to drag it out all dramatically and don't want your mother to find out means you still want someone to care about you. You need to hold on to that thought as a reason to live though this and seriously consider kicking your depression though your willpower.

I know it's hard to believe but people do want to help you and if you don't want their solutions then you need to help yourself. You still care about what your mother thinks? Show her you care about yourself and find a way through this. Even if you have to change who you are completely, if who you are is killing you than you need a change, and other people can initiate that change, but they can't if you don't trust them, start with small things like cutting back on your drinking, start punishing yourself in productive ways like exercising, do something because you have the capacity to become so much better but rolling over and dying is not going to prove anything to anyone, especially not yourself.

>>18393550
Oh.

>>18393561
What if I genuinely do not want to?

I don't want to recover. I want to have two years to live and not have anyone guilting me about it.

>>18393428
>At the time AIDS seems easiest and the most likely, but that's going to mean sex with strangers which I do not want to do.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>doesnt want to live
>wants to get aids to die
>doesnt want to have sex with strangers even tho he wants aids
>still thinks aids is a death sentence

Holy shit bud you fuckin suck at life. Maybe you should go suck a shotgun you fucking faggot.

>>18393568
Buy some fucking cyanide off the darknet and kill yourself with it. Cause of death looks like respiratory failure

>>18393577
I know it's treatable but there's still the simple act of not taking your meds.

Also, I have no access to firearms and that'd still upset mom.

>>18393581
I'm too stupid to even buy shit off eBay.

Isn't there any way to aquire it other ways? Distill it from something?

Though an entirely healthy 23-year-old suddenly dying from respiratory failure would look sketchy, too.

>>18393568
If that's really how you want to live the remainder of your life I can't stop you, I don't even know who you are. But judging by your willingness to post your problems on a forum for advice shows me you don't actually believe that. Many people, more than I can count, struggle with the same types of problems you do, either you can give up and take the easy way out or you can show a willingness to stop them. Either way, it's not going to affect anyone on this site but you.

>>18393593
no bridges nearby to just jump off of? no train tracks? no knives with a warm tub? no medication to overdose on? no cops to have kill you? no black people you can threaten?

Anon I think you just want attention, please seek help even if the people you've tried so far aren't doing it for you. You need to be medicated.

>>18393593
Have you ever thought of becoming an adrenaline junkie? It's really fun and there's always a chance you die. Go 110mph on the highway no seatbelt, go parcoring, go rob banks, go skydiving. Anything is better than dying bro.

>>18393593
If you could convince somebody to sell you potassium cyanide, which is used for jewelry cleaning, you can use that. I suppose the alternative would be hoarding hundreds of apple seeds and consuming them all at once.

>>18393593
Why don't you become a monk? I mean if you seriously want to get rid of your life, and you worry about the effects death visibly would have on your family then devote your life to fasting and meditation. You could join an order, or you could spend the rest of your life wandering the world and writing journals of your thoughts and experiences. You would also be attempting to find peace and happiness plus potential spiritual freedom.

>>18393598
It CAN'T look like a suicide. It has to be illness or accident, and I can't risk just getting paralysed from the neck down, my home country hasn't legalised euthanasia.

I AM medicated. I have an antidepressant, antipsychotics and an antabuse.

>>18393605
No, that kind of stuff doesn't interest or exite me. And there's always the risk of just getting paralysed.

>>18393610
>convince somebody
It's not a legal substance?

>>18393616
I really don't think any monastery would take me.

Also, I'm not a very religious type and I don't see how being homeless would improve the quality of my life. Save that if I get hit by a train in Uruguay my mom isn't there to recognise the body.

>>18393641
It's legal but from the prevalence of suicides with it its somewhat controlled.

>>18393641
what the fuck do you care about quality of life at a monastery? if you're already thinking about killing yourself then you can't really have a much worse quality of life.

>>18393641
(Monk guy here)
Right now you are unhappy with the quality of life you have, enough so that mentally or physically you want to be dead. So why not cut your bonds and act as a dead man? Why not leave with only things you need to survive and start walking?
No your quality of life won't be better, but you can have hope of a quality of mental existence to be better. And if you get so cold you die, or you starve you will atleast have been working toward something. Your suicide would be honorable. You don't seem to mind the suffering it takes to find death, so maybe you might not mind the suffering it takes to escape suffering.

>>18393648
You know everyone isn't an american, right?

It's illegal HERE.

>>18393651
There were two options there. First was monastery and second was being a hobo.

I was talking about the latter.

>>18393664
I thought you were asking if it wasn't legal, sorry. If you live in commie land just do physician assisted suicide, take your barbiturates and lay down for a nice nap.

>>18393662
You've misunderstood something.

I want death because I don't have the energy to maintain a normal life.

If doing what you're suggesting would be EASIER than calling up potential landlords about renting a flat, everybody would be doing it.

>>18393678
No it would be hard. You would suffer and you would have strife. You will have this no matter which way you go, but it is up to you to determine which way is a path worth using your "energy to maintain."
You also seem to think that being a traveler would ultimately be the same as being a hobo. When this is untrue, you would still wake up in the morning and you would still work toward something. You would eat what you can, gather your things and walk to a stream. Then you would wash your face and come your hair back. You would meditate, you would choose a direction and you would go there. You would walk carefully and quietly. You would think about the things you see and what you are.
This option is harder than most anyone would take, but it transforms your thoughts and your actions. You are not just out of energy and sad. I say this because I have depression and I probably will for the rest of my life. You are convinced, (even if you don't realize it) that being sad and not being able to function is the only way to be. When you start to chop away at this way of being, you will work towards a reality you can face yourself. This is spirituality. You don't need to pray to a god, or even heed the words of any prophet. You need to learn to be.

>>18393707
Wow.

This conversation has been such a massive waste of both of our time and energy. I am going to give up trying to communicate with you now.

>>18393715
No, coming from the guy telling you to suck a shotgun or go rob banks I gotta say the monk guy gave some actual deep things to think about. You just don't want help you just want to whine to people on the internet. Unironically go kill yourself you waste of a person. Your mother probably wont miss you.

>>18393729
If I'm exhausted to the point where I genuinely consider killing myself to get away from making a few phone calls, what the hell makes you think I'd have the strength and determination to live the rest of my life homeless and praying?

What kind of a "why don't you just buy more money"-solution is that?

>>18393739
You didn't even read what the guy said. He said some deep shit that makes alot of sense then you basically just told him to go fuck himself.

>>18393763
I read what he said and it has absolutely no touch to the problem at hand.

>>18393428
>that my mother wouldn't find out about
Of course you refer to your mother in particular. Clearly somebody as fucked in the head as you doesn't have a positive father figure to look up to.

Lube up, bitch

>>18393401
Yeah.

Eventually u wont be able to hide and will eaither be put on meds like me a couple weeks ago or kys like my buddy did a few weeks ago...

Life is shit. Just accept it and do your best along the way.

Meds dont do anything but help me sleeo and not get asshole ounching rage over little dumb shit.

Im an apathetic zombie and idgaf what u do tho.

Just my $0.02

>>18393458
No shit.

>>18393475
Kicking the booze will help anon. Then meds.

Source. Alchy myself

>>18393506
Cause hes a prick and doesnt umderstand your pain like we do anon. Hes also probably fighting his own battles and lashing out at strangers here like we do.

Not sure hoe to help you but suicides ruined my life to the point i dont wantto live. At the very least just fuckoff to the woods and die old and alone. Dont torture your friends and family.

You cannot begin to understand the pain of a good friend an heroing

>>18393561
This 100%.

Screenshotted also. Thanks anon.

File: 1493693985387.jpg (34KB, 490x333px) Image search: [Google]

34KB, 490x333px

>>18393577
Ahh yes. There he is...

>pic related <

>>18393598
Knife and warm tub? Wut???

>>18393605
Sadly there is a chance of just getting fucked up.

Im already cripled. Not him but fuck it sucks

>>18393616
This would be cool. Keep on the electronics too so u can shitpost to us

>>18393662

File: Screenshot_20170607-094710.png (2MB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1080x1920px

>>18393739
Well, there is always the strive to get rich.

Takes work but not a ton of effort. And when i think about my potential lambo i dont think about eating a bulet for 5 minutes...

>>18395360
slitting your wrists in a warm tub is one of the best ways to go out.