tl;dr How do you deal with the fact that there are people out

While we were dating, her older sister really hated me, but she but up with me because my ex loved me that much, and that strained their really close relationship. When I got out of the aforementioned psych ward, the first thing I did was text her (this was almost a month ago), and only a few days ago did I learn that when I did that, she had a goddamn panic attack. And when we broke up on Saturday, she was literally bawling her eyes out because she that badly didn't want to break up with me (and I din;t want to break up with her either, mind you), but the stress from her sisters and my whole trying to kms was just too much for her at this point, to the point that she had lost like 20-30 pounds just in this last month. And all she ever did was try to make me happy, and be the best girlfriend anyone could possibly be. And even though I said so many words that showed my feelings for her, every action I made only served to hurt her.

And that right there is the real kicker. I could deal with failing school. I could deal with failing work. But this small girl whom apparently I gave so much happiness too? She was the one thing that I promised myself I would never fail. And I couldn't even fucking do that. So I've been sitting here on my couch, crying about how much of a disgusting bastard I am for a solid day now. I've failed almost everything a man possibly can, and once summer is over, I won't even have my friends (the last thing I have) around. I feel like I wish I had some alcohol around, but if I turned into a drunk, I'd definitely get kicked out of the house for real.

So how about it /adv/? How do you deal with the fact that there are people out there that love you so much, yet all you ever did was fuck up their lives (as well as your own), because you're a retarded asshole?

In nearly the exact same situation but I'm homeless now.

>>18388982
You are nowhere near important enough to have fucked up anyone's life.

>>18388982
Kys. There's a reason the male suicide rate is higher.

I was on the other side of something lile this, all i can say is, FUCK YOU

>>18389908
Man, I don't know how you're keeping on. If I had to be homeless again in this state, I'd probably go jump the bridge. Godspeed to ya.
>>18389912
At the very least, my own life is pretty fucked up. But sure, fucking up someone's whole life is a pretty massive feat. So I'll put it as, "I fucked up this specific part of their lives that I had a lot of influence over."
>>18389990
I never tried to hurt anyone, ya know? But I did, a fuck ton. So I really do deserve this. But I hope you'll be happy to know that she's doing better now.

>>18388982
Isn't the answer obvious? Either you really care enough about this and do things to change to become less of a failure that drags others down. Or you just pretend to care to feel less bad about it and won't do shit, which will probably remove most people out of your life in the long run, also solving the problem.

>>18390079
But change takes time, and that's something that I feel like I never have. Every time start to get back up and improve myself, some bullshit hits and everything crashes down again. it's been like this for almost two years now. I just don't know how to get out of this cycle.

>>18390100
Two years are nothing in the long run. Specially for a kid who's still learning, mistakes, even huge ones are just part of the process, as long you find something to learn from them, or at least use them as motivation. As long you stick to it, you'll arrive where you want to be despite the setbacks.