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Hi /adv/ I could do with some advice/ links to good resources regarding self confidence and self assurance.
A couple of years ago I was working a summer job at a pub/restaurant, I really enjoyed it for the most part, but I had a pretty big 'confidence scar' if you like which really knocked me for 6.
One day we had a new guy in who was younger and inexperienced. We used iPads as our tills and before a sale you have to sign into your account with a PIN, since the lad was new the boss set him up on my account for his first shift.
Whilst taking a food order on a very busy weekend evening the lad got his order wrong, the kitchen cooked the wrong dish, sent it out and when the customers received the wrong food naturally they complained, the lad didnt know what to do and ultimately dealt with it badly.
Next time I went into the kitchen I got an absolute bollocking from the chef, shouting swearing, the whole 9 yards. I just took it on the chin. At the end of the shift once all the customers had gone home the chef was told it wasn't my fault and he apologised - anyone who has worked in a busy restaurant will know how much trouble a tiny error can make, so I always understood the chefs frustrations.
However from this point on I became terrified of making errors, I checked everything atleast 2 or 3 times on the tills, I felt sick to the stomach thinking back on how I may have got an order wrong, my job became exhausting and draining and ultimately I started making lots of little mistakes and after I took a week out for a holiday they stopped offering me shifts so I can only assume they felt I wasn't up to the task.
Fast forward to now I'm working in a Pub, no food this time but having made a couple of small errors on a shift yesterday which all in all probably cost the pub maybe £5 max I've found myself today on my day off thinking back and almost making up things i could have done wrong.
Anyone got any advice or tips?
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Also for context, I have no problem talking to new people or women or whatever, it's just roles like waiting and bar work which fuck me up with worry
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>>18388560
Mmm, yes, yes, tell me more about your family dynamics and how your parents were always too hard on you as a child and you never felt adequate in their eyes.
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>>18388605
Family are excellent and supportive, I made it clear exactly what knocked my confidence at work
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>>18388560
Value yourself more than you do now. You are hired to work because you are good at your job. Everyone makes mistakes. Its not end of the world. The chef who yelled at you also makes mistakes. Infact his mistake was bigger than your mistake. You didnt even do anything. Remember, everybody's shit stinks the same. Dont let the restaurant people who pulled your shifts affect your confidence. Their loss they let go of such a thoughtful and caring employee.
Moreover, making a mistake on your job is such an insignificant ripple in the sea of your life. Imagine your 80 years on this planet. Do you really want to let small mistakes at bartending/serving tables affect yourself so much that you waste your precious time worrying about it? You dont have that kind of time, desu. None of us do. Dont waste your 80 years of life worrying about inconsequential things.
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>>18388560
meditate for 20 minutes each day
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>>18388560
I know a great book on self-esteem, by a french psychiatrist. It is not translated in english unfortunately, but available on some other languages. Look it up. "imparfait, libre et heureux" (french title), from Christophe André
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>>18390270
Thanks Anon, exactly the perspective I needed, I'll work on keeping that in mind.
>>18390436
I'll have a look, being an ignorant englishman I never learnt another language as a kid which sucks
>>18390402
I'll give it a go cheers my dude
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