How do you go from socially inept to mastery? Do you ever have

>>18386874
>How do you go from socially inept to mastery?
You don't, at least not instantly. It's like losing weight.

>Do you ever have moments when you're around people and think "god I said a stupid thing last night" or "I really made an ass of myself"?
Sure, who doesn't?

>I want to change my mentality to become less of that, and/or to not care.
But you SHOULD care what people think, at least to a certain extent. An edgelord who says whatever the fuck they think without any thought as to the social situation is an autist.

>>18386889
>But you SHOULD care what people think, at least to a certain extent. An edgelord who says whatever the fuck they think without any thought as to the social situation is an autist.

Not like saying you eat babies to strangers for laughs.

More like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX5Iw-XsWu4

I mean, the sociopaths and psychopaths of the world say things without caring how they'll come off. Even if they're judged for their acts, they don't care.

>>18386874
You have to become good at reading the situation.

I'm extremely good at sarcasm and I like sarcastic people, it's really funny to hang out with them but for non-sarcastic people you come off as Dr. House level of asshole at best or they might think you are serious about your statement at worst.

With my closer group of friends we joke about everything, from racism to misoginy to each other, there is absolutely no way I would send a picture of a thick girl with the legend "I'd fuck that" next to the picture of a skinny girl with the legend "I'd fuck that too" to my family whatsapp group, but my friends from the university? Well the basically have 4chan humor.

Anyone else have good advice?

Think what people are thinking, and how are they able to understand what you say than speak to them.

>>18387336

No two people think alike... mfw.

http://cogbtherapy.com/cbt-blog/common-cognitive-distortions-mind-reading

>One common cognitive distortion is mind reading, which is assuming you know what other people think. In small doses, mind reading is a very helpful skill. We know that certain behaviors, words, and reactions can give us clues about what someone is thinking. For instance, when we tell someone something and his/her jaw drops, we automatically assume the other person is surprised. This is a kind of mind reading that is helpful in interpersonal encounters, and not an example of a cognitive distortion. However, when used too much, or without much evidence to go on, mind reading can be problematic. Take the example of someone eating alone in a cafeteria thinking everyone thinks she is a loser for eating alone. Or if you get to work a few minutes late, and you think everyone else is thinking about your tardiness. Engage in enough distorted mind reading, and you can feel pretty miserable after a while.

>>18387347
>What is the evidence for and against your thoughts? When we engage in a lot of mindreading, we usually only consider evidence that confirms our predictions. Rarely do we ever pit our assumptions against evidence that steers us away from our predictions.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/tsa-isnt-good-reading-body-language-and-neither-are-you-180950252/

>The first myth claims that because we know so much about body language now, it is easy to spot a liar. The second myth, and it is exactly that, a myth, is that eye aversion is indicative of deception.

>Beginning in the 1970's so called body language experts began to prattle that body language was the key to determining if someone was lying. Both law enforcement officers and the general public bought into this, and even today, with shows such as Fox Television's "Lie to Me" the myth continues.

>n 1985, Paul Ekman and other researchers looked at this myth and found that most of us are no better than chance (50/50) at detecting deception, and very few of us rise above chance.

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/tsa-isnt-good-reading-body-language-and-neither-are-you-180950252/

Given all of this, someone's grimace at a a word you say might have zero to do with you and everything to do with reminding them of a bad event that happened yesterday with their co-worker or some shit.

There's no good advice other than being genuine and accepting of yourself to build confidence, like you belong, and avoid doing things that are outside social norms.

>>18387356

Fuck I got that first link wrong.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/spycatcher/200910/body-language-myths

Join toastmasters
Learn on bodylanguage
Learn on social cues
Make small talk with anybody. (Cashiers, neighbors, etc.)

>>18387361
Disregard the first three, keep doing the last and learn how to do it without expectation or feeling regret. Dont overdo it.

It's an instant improvisation. harder the more you want to be unique, funny, express yourself and drag attention. Thats why many people want to be the same, its easier to be yourself then.

>>18386874
>Become fit- Go to /fit/
>Read the sticky.
>Follow it.
>If you have a hard start, first for a while do this:
>Eat less kcal than you spend.
>Use the app Noom to track calories.
>Caynax & Sworkit apps for free training programs.

>Learn to deal with your feelings.
>Read "How to manage depression with CBT for dummies".
>Use the apps CBT Diary, CBTi Coach and Life Strategy to track your feelings, dreams and fears.

>Organize your life.
>Track your tasks with the apps Taskhammer, Life Strategy, Raise the Bar & My Class Schedule.

>Learn to meditate or pray.
>"The Courage to be", "Way of the peaceful warrior", "The concept of anxiety" "The power of now" & "The Way of a Pilgrim" are great places to start.

>Become more social.
>Read "No more Mr. Nice Guy", "how to win friends and influence people", "The 48 laws of power", "How to make anyone fall in love
with you" and "The way of the superior man".
>Learn what they offer (write it down on cards) and practice it.
>Join a club/ Hobby group.
>Do social work.
>Go out.

>Sleep more, and more regularly
>Wear fitting clothes.
>Have good hygiene.

>Practice, practice, practice.

>>18387485
Lifting is very expensive though.