I'm always scared of losing control over my actions. I think this is mostly an irrational fear, because I don't think the few situations I've done something I immediately regretted actually matter that much, but still, I am scared. It has been like this for a long time, but as of late I started to exaggerrate it a lot, and I've been thinking about it more and more. Now it's almost summer, so we started to open up the windows and, well, I have no reason to do so and I don't want to, but seeing how easy it is to jump out and kill myself scares me and now I'm constantly thinking about it. I could jump out at any moment. Maybe I get angry and I do it in an impulsive irractional moment where I lose control. I'm not scared of the height, this is just one example, and the one that is bugging me the most right now.
Again, I don't think I have ever actually lost control, but I'm really scared. And now that I can't stop thinking about it I'm also scared that having a constant reminder like this would make me more likely to do it.
I probably just need to stop thinking about it. What can I do?
Sounds like intrusive thoughts. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought
I'd suggest maybe seeing a therapist about it, if it's getting too bad and causing you distress.
>>18385928
>I'm scared of a thing
>so I exaggerate the behavior of the thing
>which makes me think of the thing
>which makes me more likely to do the thing
>which makes me more scared
>which makes me exaggerate the behavior
>which makes me think of the thing
>which makes me more likely to do the thing
Do you see a pattern here?
>>18385960
That does sound like it, thanks for the link.
>>18385962
Of course, but it's hard to make it stop.
Same anon
>>18386000
It sounds incredibly dumb, but have you tried telling yourself to stop thinking about it? Like the idea pops in your head and you're just like, "Noooope, not thinking of that, lalala, time to do something else" and move on with your day. It sounds like you're just stuck in a pattern of fixation.
Also, lots of people have those kinds of random thoughts, about doing this one thing and it could easily kill you. It's known as the Call of the Void. And just because you think of those things doesn't mean one day you'll just decide "jumping out of this window means I'll die, so that sounds like a great idea" and do it before you can even control yourself.
>>18386045
Oh, thank you Anon, really. I'll try, I hope I can do this.
I have calmed down a bit for now. I just wanted to thank you all.