I'm seriously considering suicide. I've spent the last

>>18383099
Sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes, English isn't my native language.

>>18383099
Can you get life insurance first and make the beneficiary out to Save the whales USA.Inc. thanks in advance.

>>18383099
You're recognizing that you need help
Your body is trying to survive.

I lasted til now cause I read parts of this site
http://lostallhope.com/

I struggle a lot with feeling worthless. I'm very much alone on all fronts

>>18383099
Please, please don't. My friend killed himself last year. I've got a lot of experience with loss and grief, but this was something different. His parents seem like someone just drained the life right out of them. For me too it's just the strangest feeling, it's so weird that he isn't here anymore. Everyone knew he had troubles but nobody knew it was that bad, he always tried to make it seem like he was OK. Just tell someone. If there's anyone in your life who cares about you, please don't do this to them.

What's going on in your life, besides the depression? How old are you?

>I spend time & money on getting help and then never utilize it.

Wow. Do you take your car to a mechanic just for fun?

>>18383230
Thank you anon, started reading that website, it's helping. The part on waiting three days to try suicide just to see if there's no other solution makes sense.

I too feel worthless, and I'm sorry you're alone... You can talk to me.

>>18383255
Hey, thank you for answering. I'm sorry about your friend... I'm sorry he made that choice...

There are tons of things going on, but mostly it's that my eating disorder is back, and I'm not strong enough to go through it again. It started when I was 12 and now I'm 28. I still don't know how but I survived back then but I'm too weak to do it again. I'm too tired of fighting it. Then there's work which has been incredibly stressful and it just makes my eating disorder worse. I've thought of quitting but I don't know what would I do then, both financially and with my life.

I'm sorry for rambling.

Just tell your therapist, it's her job to help. There's a big difference between suicide ideation and actually doing it. Meds can help calm your thoughts, allow you to refocus (at least for me). Just relax and don't act out of emotions.

>>18383268
I have an eating disorder and I've focused therapy on getting better from that. And I'm afraid what will happen once I tell her I'm suicidal.

Do you have an advice?

>>18383372
Thanks. I've tried meds on the past but didn't really noticed a change in my train of thoughts... But I've calmed down somewhat so I'm gonna think about it, maybe I need to try pills again.