Honest suicide advice thread or ow do I kill myself without actually

Um... lol no.

>>18382150
You get life insurance first then you move forward with plan

Just call out of work dude, I'm sure they'll understand.

>>18382162
Please I'm not trying to fool anyone here. I'm being honest when I say I'm doing this just for attention but it's the only way.
>>18382172
OK but how exactly? I heard that paracetamol od is very common in these situations but it's also very dangerous.
>>18382187
It's not a work issue, I love my job, it's a family matter more than anything really.

First, go to a butcher and get a whole pig. Make a big deal about jumping off a tall roof. Put your clothes and ID on the pig and throw it off the roof. Then escape the area quickly

>>18382150
so you want attention? why are you so retarded? can you kill yourself for real. thats my advice.

>>18382211
>Please I'm not trying to fool anyone here. I'm being honest when I say I'm doing this just for attention but it's the only way.

so it's a cry for help? or you genuinely just want attention?

if you're feeling depressed but not suicidal, talk to someone anon. tell them you feel depressed. talk to a professional. it can get better without hurting yourself.

>>18382327
>>18382316
Yes it is a call for attention but NOT because I need the attention. There's just so much shit going on right now, I just need to shift people's attention a little bit or things are going to end badly

>>18382377
I know how you feel dude, I'm honestly in a very similar situation where you just feel completely fucking hopeless. I've considered suicide in the past and as of right now am kinda glad I didn't do anything that would've got me committed.

Seriously, talk to someone. Are you in university? They usually have counselling centres that are active even during the summer.

Tell them what you told us; that you don't want to die but you do feel like hurting yourself sometimes.

OP, don't fucking do this for attention or to shift attention or whatever idiotic plan you think it will benefit.

You will fuck your own life over. You will be locked up for a psych eval, and that shit stays on your record. There are some jobs you will have trouble getting.

>>18382150

You're a cunt.