gradually, i've started to get grossed out by all sorts

>>18381105
>same with saliva. thinking about all the bacterias inside a mouth is just yucky

fun fact: people who are kissing regularly are less prone to dental issues

>>18381145
yeah, i know all that. that it is good for your immune system and yadda yadda. that doesn't change the fact that i have very high standards for oral hygiene (i use a tongue cleaner everytime i brush and floss/mouthwas daily, get my teeth cleaned professionally every year and never had any cavities) and if i don't feel like somebody does the same, i will be disgusted with the thought of his saliva. especially inside my mouth and even worse, anywhere near my vagina.

my bf has mediocre mouth hygiene. he brushes often and uses mouthwash daily. he also gets his terth cleaned yearly. but he never uses floss or a tongue scraper, despite me asking him to do so. his tongue is white with bacterias and i get a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about that mass of yuck on my genitals. it also costs ne effort to kiss him with tongue. and i really don't want that. it's just my disgust keeping me from enjoying oral or french kissing...

File: IMG_3671.jpg (32KB, 200x133px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 200x133px

i mean, in all seriousness, how can pic related not disgust somebody? this screams "bacterial infection for my vagina" to me... it's similar to wanting to lick off someone's ear wax. it's just unnecessary and disgusting.

>>18381200
wtf is that? I think I might have something similar on my tongue

>>18381200

That's pretty gross tbqh. This man needs to fucking clean out his mouth... don't let him near your flower bud, gurl.

HELLO SEX AND FLUIDS ARE DISGUSTING

I AM 30 AND A VIRGIN BUT I MAKE LIKE TONS OF MONEY

SO HA HA JOKES ON THE FLUID FAGS IMO

OP IT'S NORMAL IT JUST MEANS YOU WILL PROBABLY BE A WIZARD LIKE I AM

MY ADVICE IS TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME FURTHERING YOUR CAREER AS POSSIBLE

IF YOU DIDN'T GO TO COLLEGE DON'T BOTHER IT'S A WASTE OF TIME AND DESIGNED TO TAKE STUPID MILLENIAL'S MONEY

>>18381213
itms bacterial build up and almost everybody gets it since the tongue holds the most bacterias in your mouth. badically, brushing your teeth is futile unless you don't also scrape your tongue. that's like trying to dry your car whilst it's raining. think about it; your tongue has all those little tastebudds, lie a carpet. perfect rug for bacterias to hold on to. sumply disgusting if you don't clean that shit.

>>18381227
problem is, this has started to gradually bug me more. idk why...

>>18381234
ok... problem is i WILL have to have sex for the rest of my life. we'll get married in a few weeks. now what?

also, have you read "don't go back to school"? it sounds like you have. kek

>>18381250

NO I HAVEN'T READ THAT BOOK I JUST GO OFF LIFE EXPERIENCE WHERE ALL THE PEOPLE I MANAGE HAVE BACHELORS OR MASTERS DEGREES AND I HAVE NO DEGREE AND I KNOW MORE THAN THEM AND MAKE DOUBLE WHAT THEY MAKE AND HAVE NO DEBT... THAT IS WHAT I MEANT :) :)


SORRY I HAVE NO ADVICE FOR YOU ON THIS THEN IF YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED AND STUFF .... MAYBE YOU COULD NOT BE MARRIED AND JUST NOT HAVE SEX THAT WAY?

>>18381266
why are you screaming, anon?

i agree with you that degrees are fucking useless, but the issue is that it's almost impossible to get into good positions without them. they are the basic requirement... how did you get your job? networking?

yeah, i thought about being upfront about it and ask him to use a tongue cleaner snd floss everyday. i tried to get him to do so by explaining that it's important, but he's not very serious about it. maybe he needs to understand that out sexlife depends on it... OR i need to get the fuck over myself and work on my high standarts.

>>18381105
>i think of how semen will change my vaginal ph

you have posted another b8 before about ur imaginary bf forced you to have sex with him...
http://archive.4plebs.org/adv/search/text/vagina%20ph/type/op/results/thread/

>>18381279
I would say, get over it. Are you even sure that if he gave in to this request, your discomfort would go away? Because what usually happens is that people are alright for a little while, then they need more to feel comfortable. This is also how OCD rituals start. At first a simple act is enough to feel alright. Over time your "tolerance" goes up and you need to do more and more to get the same peace of mind.

I would have a conversation with a therapist and see what they think. Maybe some concrete tips.
Either way, sex is never going to be completely sanitary, that's just life. Even if he has the best saliva in the world, at the end of the day you are swapping sticky bodily fluids that people are in other context disgusted with.

>>18381279
>i tried to get him to do so by explaining that it's important, but he's not very serious about it. maybe he needs to understand that out sexlife depends on it... OR i need to get the fuck over myself and work on my high standarts.

Gotta meet halfway. Work on your shit and he works on his shit and you'll both be way happier knowing both are making an effort.

>>18381286
nah, that wasn't me. and it's true that semen changes the vaginal ph...

and as you can see in this study, semen can even highten your risk to get hiv. so i don't think it's only paranoia.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/9144379/

>>18381294
i have ocd tendencies, so that might play into it.
argh, but it's so god damn hard to go against disgust. i mean, it's one thing to learn to touch stuff like doorhandles and such if you are a germophobic. but when it cones to sex, itms not enough to force yourself to "do it anyways", since you are expected to also enjoy yourself whilst going against your disgust. and i don't think it would get better with time. u mean, i still have sex with im regulsrily and french kiss him daily and it gets worse by the day. idk, imm exposing myself to it but it doesn't help...

i know that sex will always be kind of gross. but how do people enjoy it then? how ate they not disgusted? what's it that i'm lacking that makes most people enjoy it anyways?

>>18381298
i try my best, but i can't force myself to enjoy something that disgusts me. that's like trying to eat something you hate and pretend you love it. it's not somethig you'd want to do daily.
it's true that u somehow have always been a bit obsessed with "purity". but i don't know if that is really something bad... i mean, don't most people love pure things in one way or another?

>>18381334
Yeah what made me respond like this was in part the mention that this was a thing recently creeping up on you. Could it be stress that made it worse?

Part of it is neurological, when you are aroused the part of your brain linked to disgust is not as active. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/12/arousal-disgust-sex-study_n_1877743.html) Hence why many people do stuff they would otherwise find gross and off putting during sex.

As for the rest though, I'm afraid this won't be of any practical use to you but talking from my point of view it's just a non-issue. Yeah I know there's bacteria in their body, there are in mine as well - there's shit festering in my bowels and there's tiny creatures living in my eyebrows. For me not worrying about their germs is on the same level as not getting creeped out that my hands are host to countless life forms. In fact, the naughty aspect of doing stuff you would normally not like makes it wilder to me. It's not completely for nothing that good sex is commonly referred to as dirty. It is thrilling to me to experience enjoying stuff that sounds horrible as an abstract concept.

Again this is no doubt useless to you but since you asked the perspective... it has all to do with mindset. If a therapist is one step too far perhaps try to find an OCD community, I strongly doubt you're alone in this issue.

You should probably go to doctor and discuss this. Sounds a bit like obsessive/intrusive thinking, a bit like ocd. Semen will change your pH a little, but if you clean up after sex, you know shower and stuff you'll be fine, also saliva is meh, if you're with someone you care enough about to swap spit what does it matter?

But in all seriousness please seek professional help, this could be a mental illness slowly progressing.

>>18381383
hm, that's very interesting. i didn't know that arousal and lowered disgust is linked.
my libido has dropped to basically zero (i'm pregnant, so huge hormonal changes, always feeling uncomfortable in some way, no biological need to even have sex, and so on). this might be why i suddenly started to notice all the gross sides of sex. that plus wanting to be as "clean" as possible because there's a tiny baby inside of me... i mean, i also only eat stuff i consider "clean" and my hygiene has gone up significantly. i also wash clothes, bath towels, bedsheets and stuff a lot more and am always cleaning something, some part of me tells me that's normal, but some part of me thinks it's a bit over the top. but itms hard to tell when you're in the middle of it.

>>18381414
>pregnant
Ohh that's a big one. I mean I still stand by what I said that it could be latent OCD urges surfacing a bit, but you are also going through huge hormonal changes so that's kind of expected to stir things up. Eg both sky rocketing libido and zero libido are normal side effects of pregnancy.

Either way I would still try to check up somewhere. Also because stress is very bad for the baby and you don't want to be straining yourself to wash everything all the time in a few months.

>>18381428
it's just that he's very worried that it will stay this way and he will be doomed to s life with a wife who has no libido. and i totally understand this fear. i try to explain it to him, but he tskes it personally that i have no sexual urges atm and keeps freaking out over it. he makes me feel extremely guilty for not wanting sex, so i try all i can to find out why i don't want sex and how i could change this.
and thinking about it for those past months, my conclusion is that it's disgust that kills my desire for sex. but now that you linked that, it might be that the disgust came after my libido vanished... that changes a lot. and is actually very relieving, since then it could really just be the damned hormones.
i have an appointment with my doc in two days. i'll ask her about it. maybe infront of him, so he can hear her professional take ok it.

>>18381449
Yeah it would probably be a good idea to bring him so he at least knows that you are taking it seriously and hears the professional input.

As for your husband... I understand it as well but it is fairly normal for sex to suffer a bit when kids are young. From sleep deprivation and general lack of time but also because many couples need to transition back into seeing each other as romantic partners and not just co-parents.

Is the reason he is this panicked about it also because you used to have problems earlier? Or is this the first hurdle for your sex life?

>>18381491
we always had lots of sex, and his sex drive is rather high. he says he "wouldn't survive" it if we had sex only 3x a week or so.
i tried to explain to him that it will be a bit harder to find time and get in the mood at the beginning anyways. and that we can't have sex for 6 weeks after the delivery... i don't think he believes me that there will actually be times we won't get to our "normal" count. he thinks all will continue as it was, even when the baby is here. which kind of puts pressure on my already. and i really dislike this. i told him that it might take a while till i feel at home in my body again. he agrees NOW, but i know that when the time strives and he gets horny, he forgets very quickly. oh well, maybe i need to just relax and take it one day at a time. i wish he could do the same instead of keeping track of our sexual activities. this stresses me out, yes.

>>18381518
No offense but if at all possible I would get his ass to couple's therapy and have a professional explain that 3x a week all week every week is simply not doable. Indeed even if only looking at how long it will take you to heal sufficiently after the delivery.

Yes maybe it's too much effort and he will mature but if I were you I would rather spend the time and money without it being strictly necessary, than have a marital crisis when there's a newborn waking you up thrice a night... which already does a huge number on your mood, patience and so on.

>>18381556
we already agreed that couples therapy would be a good thing. we would rather go there before we get some serious issues. problem is that it's nearly impossible atm due to lur different schedules. maybe as soon as i'm hime with the baby. i hipe we can find time, because i feel like he could take on a professional opinion and explanation way better since whenever i try to explain it to him, he just takes it personal. he simply thinks that if i would "really love him, i would want sex with him 24/7". and that's just not true. i told him that if i wouldn't love him and be sure i want to spend the rest of my life with him, i wouldn't have his baby and marry him... but that all means nothing to him if we don't have sex like rabbits. yes, sometimes this frustrates me a lot.

>>18381574
Yeah it does sound like he would benefit from a professional third. Hopefully he's not the type to get convinced that you are conspiring against him right away...

But then I would at the least pointedly ask in his presence how long you should wait with sex after giving birth. If he cannot even recognize a medical condition as a legitimate reason to not want to have sex, there is something seriously wrong with him.

>>18381576
i don't think so. his problem is that he has very low selfesteem and suspects me "not loving him" behing everything i do. i told him that's hurtfull, mean and exhausting. but he can't just change his selfedteem from one day to the next. guess we both need oatience and compromises. we're really good with that, but when it comes to sex, his tolerance and willingness for compromises vanishes rapidly.

i'll do that, thanks for your advice, anon. it helped.