My girlfriend said it is 'strange' that I keep pictures

Fuck her. Keep the photos up.

She's in the wrong, 100%. That said have you moved on? Do you talk about your late-wife often/make comparisons? If your girlfriend feels like she's living in her shadow I could understand where she's coming from. But the issue there isn't about the pictures, it's about trying to compete with the dead.

These are signs that this woman you are seeing are not going to make you happy in the long run. It's evident she is not empathic about your past or how you feel.

Don't marry this woman, she will bring you grief and regrets in your later years. Have fun with that pussy but plan ahead to be with someone more desirable

I would think it's weird or creepy for a guy to do that, it's been three years and I'd expect you to at least have moved on a little bit. Like maybe instead of having her pictures all over the house, why not just in a nice photo album or something? I dunno. I'd feel like I'm not really there for you to be invested in, just sex. Women are weird sometimes just like how men can be weird about other things.
If you're not willing to take down the pictures why not just meet in the middle and only have one family photo of you two and assuming you have kids, them as well.

If neither then why are you even in a relationship with this woman if you're not willing to invest all of you into your relationship?

>>18374384
Its not strange but I wouldnt have them everywhere in the house unless you have kids.
She passed away bro.
You need to move on with your life.
Its literally been 3 years and you are choosing her ghost and memory over your current gf.
That means you arent ready to move on to a new relationship.

It would be much stranger if you didn't, I reckon.

>>18374384
>she is unhappy with the fact that I still have pictures of her around my house and wants me to remove them

I want you to know you've done nothing wrong, OP. This person was dear to you, and it's sweet to honor their memory.

It's a valid concern if she thinks you haven't moved on, so you should have a discussion with her. Tell her you're going to keep the photos up, but you don't love her any less.

She could be insecure and doubt your attraction to her, or she could think you aren't ready to move on which is a reasonable concern. It's unfair of her to ask you to remove them. Would you be willing to compromise by reducing the amount of photos in the house?

>>18374384
Honestly it sounds like you aren't ready for another serious relationship.

You are absolutely not wrong. The photos stay.

Kill your gf and put up pictures of her

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>>18374384
>she's literally jealous of someone who's not even alive

What the fuck does she expect you to do? Throw away the pictures and pretend like she never existed?

You keep those pictures up man.

>>18374384
drop the bitch dude, she aint shit and sounds controlling as fuck.

>>18374384
>uncle married some bitch despite my dad and other uncles saying dont
>as soon as they got married she went full manipulation
>my dad and uncles dont see him anymore
>last time we did there were no pictures of our side of the family, just hers
>she made him return family photos to my grandmother
>dad and uncle used to have to secretly hang out if they wanted to see each other because she'd go mental if he was with anyone but her

Dump her.

If you want a second opinion, post your question on /r/relationships. They tend to know their shit.

>>18374659
holy shit, i have an uncle that went out the exact same way
never underestimate the power pussy can have over one who has had little to no interaction with it

>>18374452
Fuck this noise. His wife died from cancer. She is still a part of his life, even though it ended.

You don't get to decide who your partner is allowed to care about.

>>18374659
my abusive borderline sense is tingling

>>18374659
Similar thing happened with a friend of mine. Known him since high school and he was part of a group of guys that I hang out with a lot. After he met his wife, he completely dropped off the face of the Earth and stopped hanging out with any of us. Stopped playing video games. Just vanished and we'd maybe hear from him a couple times a year. He only hangs out with her friends and shit.

No. My father lives with his long term gf after my mother passed from cancer 6 years ago.

They share the house, but he has one picture of my mother plus my sister and me, and one photo of them at his side of the family's family reunion (a group picture).

Whenever I share old photos from my childhood I discover to my Facebook, my dad's gf will either not respond or like or <3 it sometimes.

Jealousy over the dead is petty and absurd.

I know how you feel because the same thing happened to me. My wife died of leukemia and we had 2 kids. I keep a picture of her and the boys hanging up. After I remarried, my new wife was cool with the picture being up. She accepted my late wife's family with open arms and goes to their family gatherings with us. She has said that she can't feel threatened by someone who is dead and understands it was someone I once loved. If the person you meet doesn't feel that way, I would move on. I didn't hate my first wife and I still miss her. Having someone who understands and respects that is priceless.

>>18374836
Key word: one

If someone told me that they would be out the door in a heartbeat.

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>>18374384
both sides are completely understandable. I literally can't pick who's "right" and who's "wrong" here when considering the other.

>>18374384
It depends on how big of a bitch your wife was ?

>>18374747
>Jealousy over the dead is petty and absurd.
it actually isn´t really that absurd

she gets the feeling that the love for the dead one is bigger
and that she is inferior to her because even though she is now there you are still "hanging" onto the dead

i mean it´s unreasonable and quite dumb
but it´s not absurd imo

nigga your fucking wife died of cancer who I assume you loved quite a fucking bit. if you want to have pictures of her up, keep them up and tell that dumb slut gf of yours to stay mad about it

No woman wants to have a relationship with a "man still emotionally engaged with another woman", dead wife or not. You are a fucking idiot. Either stay heartbroken over your dead wife and relish those feelings or put away the past so you can make room for the present aka new pussy. Again, you are a fucking idiot. You're all fucking idiots you who think this is some manipulator whore game (which I'm well aware of and detest more than anything). Idiot.

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>>18375490
yeah "no one" will respect physical memories of a dead loved one and stay with them. this bitch would get kicked to the door insantly regardless of the reasoning behind her intent (on the contrary to you implying everyone thinks she is doing this cause shes a whore) shes still a dumb bitch with no say so LOL

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>>18375490

>>18374384
fuck that shit, that is part of your life
who you are
if she cant accept that its because she is a self centered insecure cunt.

Big Red Flag

>>18374384

she feels uncomfortable which is understandable, she has to deal wiht the fact that you possibly met the 'perfect woman' and that she is just a stand in. since your relationship ended because of a death instead of a lack of romance, your feelings toward her wont ever really change. perhaps fade out to some degree, but not change.

and for anyone that could be really hard to deal with. that doesn't make her right by any means, but i can see why shes uncomfortable. but thats her burden to bare, not yours. you can explain to her but people are still gonna feel how they're going to feel. its up to you to decide what the 'line' is, and if she crosses it, nix her. she might already have.

>>18375490
Yes, it is kind of hard to tell if he's emotionally moved on by knowing whether or not he has pictures up of his deceased wife though. You're jumping to conclusion there, just like the anons who are screaming manipulative whore.

OP, sort this out by confronting whether you're ready for another relationship yet. If yes, proceed to have a reassuring conversation with your gf to put concerns to rest. Convey that you have in fact moved on.

>>18374384
I'd personally just keep them in an album or something since they'd stick out like sore thumbs.

But it's fucked up of her regardless to ask you to remove them, and then spit in your face by calling it strange.

I do think you should try to move on for you though. Put the photos away anon. If otherwise she makes you happy, then don't fuck this up out of pride or a neglect to at least try to move on. Just remember you're doing this for you.

>>18375524
Exactly. She sounds like she is fucking 12 year old kid. Your wife was more than someone to sleep with, she was your best friend.

Dump that bitch anon. You need someone who is more mature than that.

Your conversation should have gone something like this.
> "Can you take these pictures of your ex wife who passed on down?"
> You : "can you get the fuck out of my house?"

Buddy that's your ex wife, your entitled to this. You keep those pictures up.

My friends father ended up with cerebral palsy and he asked his wife to move on. They ended the marriage and everything, and she started dating again. She still keeps his photos up, and all the family photos.

It would be beyond unfair for a new partner to even consider making the request she did.

I'm not good at advice. But I can say, if my wife died, and I some day got s new girlfriend that expected me to take down and hide away pictures of her, that new girlfriend could fuck right off.

>>18374384
OP, your attachment is normal but it is also normal for your girlfriend to want to be the most important woman in your life and not a plan B.
It's hard to feel loved and cared for when you are still attached to someone else.

Maybe you should break up and wait some more before dating again, because it seems like you're not exactly ready to move on.

Here's a thought.
When people go into a new space, everything is novel to them. They usually look at everything, all the details. People tend to forget to that other people don't see through our eyes.

To her, she's looking at all these photos and thinking about your wife a lot. Every time she passes them, her eyes go to them and a thought about your wife pops up. She is imagining that the same situation happens for you.

When in reality, I reckon you don't actually look at those photos much. When we are used to the things in our environment, we glaze over them. It would actually ping a thought more often if you took the photos away, because your brain will have to get used to the change, and keep being confused at a picture being gone.

Do consider both sides here: she should realize that you're probably not looking at these photos as much as she is; and you should realize that she's probably looking at these photos a lot more than you are.

>>18375520
Replace with "It's like a visible, physical version of a beta orbiter white knight cuck thinking they're being extra super niceguy respectful to the dead wife and the guy's feelings over realizing what he's doing to his new girlfriend so he should live his one true truth...shhhh...hush. my child". You're garbage, mate. Nice meme btw. People like you that save memes and drop them in instead of engaging in dialogue are the exact kind of bluepill fantasy niceguy autists that op is. Good job on that. Keep piling up the memes, handsome son. Funny these people saying "no way dude keep them up they're who you are!"...they just look like a fucking security blanket that says "keep away i'm not ready yet." Just try to keep up pictures of your exes when new gf's come into your life. You'll look emotionally retarded for it. A dead wife, somewhat different, but no one wants to feel like the replacement that has to constantly prove herself against a perfect, unassailable ideal. Or just "the next one"...with creepy constantly-be-aware-of-death!-contextualization dripping from every wall. It's a gross thing to impose on someone. And guy who mentioned analogous anecdote about someone with ceretral palsy...they're way past menopause and the 'making a family' stage, no shit people will keep up pictures of their ex if there was an amicable break at that age.

>>18374384
She can't make you take them down, but if I was her, I'd break up with you because that's not something I'd want to deal with.

>>18374452
>ONLY BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU'RE 100% INVESTED
You sound like you've had a very narrow experience, relationship-wise. People form bonds and relationships with people for a plethora of reasons. Sometimes it's loneliness, sometimes it's mutually beneficial (even if temporary), sometimes it's just fun.
As the other reply mentioned, you don't get to dictate who this guy cares about. This girl clearly knew about these photos to begin with, the rules were set from the start, she doesn't get to change them now.

Tell her to get fucked. Grief happens at its own pace. If she can't respect your ex, she doesn't deserve your respect either.

>>18375448
>i mean it's [the definition of absurd]
>but it's not absurd imo

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>>18375919
>you're a beta orbiter white knight cuck for not throwing away pictures of your dead wife

What an incredibly odd thing to say.

>>18374432
This

>>18374384
It's not strange at all and she sounds pretty insecure to be jealous over a dead chick

t. girl

Talk to her to figure out why exactly she's uncomfortable with that though, there's not enough info and context to give you any other advice beyond "it's okay to keep the pictures"


>>18374452
Three years is really not that much time to move on when you loose someone as close as your wife

If OP was still in a grief phase I would be worried but there's nothing indicating that in his post, sounds like he simply still cares about her


>>18375865
Also this

>>18374384
Maybe go for a compromise and take some photos down and see how you feel? It is a 'no right answer' question but part of moving on to your next relationship.

>>18374452
Fuck off, cunt.
He didn't end his marriage, life did. He can keep her photos on display just like he could have photos of his mother on display.

>>18379875
No one said that, though. What Incredibly odd trolling, meme-master yeti. Way to simplify things to the point of autistic incoherence.

Just take them the fuck down and put them in an album for yourself. Your "100% all in life" with your dead wife is over. Make room for new life...don't make your new girlfriend feel like she has to share the walls (where she wants to be along with your future children...alive, family photos) with your dead wife. You getting the overlap yet?

>>18380402
>don't make your new girlfriend feel like she has to share the walls
Why? If she can't share the walls she can fuck off. You think OP's just over his dead wife? You think she's not going to be in his thoughts everyday for the rest of his life? It's a pretty good metaphor really. If she can't share walls with dead wife than she's not going to be able to handle sharing his heart with dead wife, so any dream of her being new wife material or having kids with her is automatically right out the fucking window. There are plenty of new girlfriends who will be able to deal with it without being demanding cunts.

>>18374384
Keep the pictures up dude fuck maybe you should kick new girl to the fucking curb

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>>18374384
Been through the same rigamaroo drop the bitch and get a girlfriend that's confident

>>18374384
>Your wife dies
>You get another gf
I hope you also die

>>18374384
It's not strange at all.

>>18374384
Unless you have plastered every room with them, she is in the wrong. Break up with her. She obviously isn't interested in your feelings.

>>18382398
So he should stay celibate his whole life just because he is a widower?

Why is everyone defending OP. Yeah that sucks but keeping pictures of her all around the house? To any normal outsider you look like a weirdo. These 4chan faggots are just trying to appease your little bitch feelings as they are little bitches themselves. I'm surprised you could even find another person after such obsession, took you long enough.

An even better question is why is a gf of 2 months already living with you? If shes not living with you, then yeah you can keep those weirdo pics since its your house. If she is, now you're both in the wrong. You need to get rid of those pictures and put them on your phone or in a book like a normal non-idiot would, and you need to kick her out and let her move back in in 2 more months. 4 months should be the minimum move in cutoff, have some decency, you're all fucked up son. Sounding like some 90 year old man or some shit

>>18374452
Honestly, she's being pretty reasonable. A photo album should be totally acceptable. That being said, i've had very very very very very very close loved ones die, and I actually took DOWN their pictures and put it in an album. Much healthier that way, much easier to move on

OP why are you dating people when you aren't over your ex wife? Yet you complain when the relationships having bumps. You're not ready for dating yet for her sake, break up with the poor girl.

I didn't realize how many children are on /adv/. OP you're not ready for dating yet, you need to grieve still.

I don't understand this fallacy that if you keep their photos up you haven't "moved on". You can still appreciate and member your deceased loved ones openly even if you have ultimate moved on. I don't understand this retarded "You must hide your photos away or you haven't moved on" bullshit. That's retarded, photos are meant to be looked at and remembered and you keep the ones that meant the most in your life out in the open. I'd hate to be your loved ones, honestly. If my wife died she has a permanent place in my house regardless if I moved on or not because she was an important part of my life whether shes gone or not.

>>18382562
when there's a bunch of photos everywhere, it feels like a shrine to normal people, and not a nice little memento on the side table.

>>18382562
These fags have never had a meaningful relationship so they think like sociopaths.

ITT: Frigid bitches and idiot who defend said frigid bitches

Lol "move on" fuck off what the fuck is this obsession with moving on about? I see this shit everywhere in relationship advice on the internet, then you fuckers still have the guts to call me heartless

>>18374384
I only think it's ok if you have children. just because you have moved on doesn't mean the love you shared is gone. but past that reason. put the pictures away.

>>18374452
By the way this is why people consider girls to be soulless monsters

>>18382487
People defending him are reading it as though he has only a couple photos up (birthday, camping trip, whatever), probably amongst a bunch of other neutral photos. I didn't even consider the possibility he could have a ton of photos up everywhere in a way that would make someone reasonably uncomfortable and give cause to question whether or not he's moved on when I initially posted. OP never gave enough information for us to tell who's actually in the right here.

>My girlfriend said it is 'strange' that I keep pictures of my late wife around my house.
>and she is unhappy with the fact that I still have pictures of her around my house and wants me to remove them
I saw these and took it as though she doesn't want any pictures up. That'd make her the weird and unreasonable one. But it's possible we're only hearing his side of the story and she's just freaked out he has a giant portrait of her over his fireplace, a large picture of them on their honeymoon/wedding kissing across from his bed, and dozens of regular pictures scattered around the house. Or he has a small amount of pictures up but keeps talking about her in which case she's insecure because he's blatantly not moved on.

>>18383046

Your interpretations, both of them, are exactly how I pictured this situation.

Without OP or a clear idea of how many pictures he has, and where, we'll all just be left to speculate endlessly.

>>18374384
d u m p h e r

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>>18374384
> I feel like it's a little unfair and having some pictures of her around isn't unreasonable
The bitch is dead. Put her pictures in a box, tie it with ribbon, and save it for a rainy day.

Take pictures of the new girl and replace them. Live life. Don't obsess on the dead.

And for God's sake, take her mummified corpse out of the attic and bury that shit. Fuck's sake, she makes the whole damn house smell like a wet shoe.

>>18374452
This seems mostly agreeable to me. People talking about how this girlfriend is "looking to control your life": don't you think that is a bit hyperbolic?

I've never lost someone in the way that you have, but if I was in your girlfriend's shoes, I'd probably be wondering if you moved on, given all these pictures around the house. In the end, if you're uncomfortable with putting these pictures away, then don't, but at least understand why your girlfriend feels the way she does.

>>18374384
You are living in the past bro. Paco up those pictures. Just because you don't hang up pictures of her doesn't mean you don't remember. Time to move on.

Well I was in the same situation that your gf. It was kind of akward, his girlfriend had passed away 3 years ago from cancer. She was loved by everyone and she practically died a martyr.
This is not a competiton but, how could I compare myself to her? She died being perfect and in the perfect relationship.
I really felt he didn't got over her death and that really made me feel bad. I know not everything was about me, but like, what about us? and about our special thing?
The worst part of my reletionship was when he flipped and began to threathen me to kill himself if I leaved him because "I can't stand to lose the woman I love AGAIN" and when he told me "The evil spirit that killed Anonexgfname is here in my room"
Obviously I left him, but I sometimes think that what happened was a traumatic experience for him and I'll never understand.
I should have seen the red flags: THE PICTURES OF HER DEAD EX GF????, the way he talked so relaxed about her dead, and the FEAR he had of being abandoned again.

Hope you are not as crazy as this bastard is. And I'm sorry about your wife, but you need to move on and get over her if you want to have another succesful relationship. Because yes, it is really uncomfortable, and as a gf you look heartless when you express you feel akward.

>>18383499
/thread

>>18383010
By the way, this is why people consider underage B& children to be ignorant

>>18383499
I agree with you 100%. BUT the way you talk about him
>crazy bastard
>THINKING that MIGHT have been a traumatic experience
well of fucking course it was you psychopath.

I mean you're totally correct, that OP is in the wrong he should not be dating someone. But I'm thinking you might need to get evaluated.

>>18383523
The second line is a little stupid but reread what she wrote. The guy threatened to kill himself if she left him, and talked about evil spirits being in the room. Pretty sure that's an accurate descriptor for crazy. And when she says traumatic she probably means 'made him go off the deep end' not 'threw him into terrible, unimaginable grief'.

>>18374384

It depends if your house is littered with pictures or if you have a souvenir here and there. Still, asking you to remove them 2 months into a relationship is really callous on her part.

>>18383499
>>18374452

I'm dating a girl who when started dating, her bf literally JUST died of a heroin overdose and I totally understand that she loved/s him and misses him. She has pictures of him, we talk about him, she tells me stories of him. I'm totally cool with it because I have empathy, I just enjoy spending time with her. Been dating for 2 years now. She's getting over it well, we're getting through it together.

>>18374384
make her wear her clothes

>>18374659
This is me.

She insults me and wrecks the house on tantrums.

One day I will run away.

>>18374452
I completely agree with you. I'm a guy too. Tbh I was surprised at all the selfish responses itt.

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>>18385248
>One day I will run away.

>>18374452
If you aren't comfortable with someone having feelings for someone else that isn't even alive anymore, then dating a widower probably isn't for you.

Feelings aren't a limited resource that have to be rationed out. Loving someone that you lost doesn't mean you can't be completely invested in a new relationship.

I'm a dude and most of the people in this thread are out of their minds.

Let's be clear: if your girlfriend is asking you to take down every single one of the pictures, or to actually throw any of them AWAY, she's completely out of line. Keep one or two pictures of her displayed somewhere in the house, maybe not prominently placed, but somewhere you'll see them. And by all means keep the others somewhere private and look at them as often as you want.

But it is reasonable for your girlfriend not to want pictures of your previous love staring at her from all over the house.

I've lost people close to me (before their times) as well and I completely understand if you're just not ready to take the pictures down. But if you're not ready to do that, then you're also not ready to date. Sorry. I'm certainly not criticizing you for it if that's how it is.

>>18386079
It is one thing to never really stop loving or missing your dead wife, and another to still have reminders of them placed all around the house for your girlfriend to run into.

I remember i used to go with this chick and before we got together her old bf killed himself.She still had his pics up on FB and I made her take them down.Im sure she didnt delete completely them but i just didnt want to feel cucked out.
Just take down the visible photos for now you dnt have to forget your wife but just get the pussy then put the photos back up unless you have kids then she should understand.

I got a girlfriend like 5 years after my wife died. I never removed my pictures from my walls though.

My girlfriend didn't care, she just understood because that's just what adults do.

And yeah, I've "moved on" whatever the fuck that means in this context. You never stop caring about your dead spouse by the way, that's not a thing unless you're just a sociopath or you fucking hated her. I reached the point where I was comfortable getting a girlfriend and I was emotionally ready to do so. I just don't see why that should mean I not have this person who was the most important person for 30% of my life be on display.

>>18386101
My girlfriend deals with it just fine. I'm supposed to pretend that 10 years of my life didn't happen? She's got to deal with my two kids, who are a much bigger reminder that my wife existed.

I understand that there's a line in the sand where it's not healthy, but a few photos on the wall aren't unhealthy to keep around.

Not everyone is secure enough to deal with it. They have to feel like they are the one and only, most important thing in their partner's life, and that's fine. Those people just probably shouldn't be dating a widow/widower.

>>18386138
Congratulations on having an unusually centered and secure girlfriend. I'm not being sarcastic. I mean it.

But there are plenty of people who wouldn't really be OK with that, who would find themselves thinking thoughts like "Has he really moved on enough to make this relationship work?", struggling with feelings of jealousy despite knowing perfectly well that those feelings were petty and irrational. I'm talking about mature, well-adjusted, essentially reasonable people, not people who demand that they be the "one and only most important thing in their partner's life."

There is of course no way for either of us to "prove" what we're saying right, but ... it's just not that unreasonable an objection. Guarantee that the great majority of grief/relationship counselors would be on my side in this - not that they'd say "You have to take the pictures down," of course, but that they'd agree, yeah, objecting to your SO displaying pictures of his late wife all around the house isn't really that insecure or selfish. Though they'd certainly admonish OP's girlfriend for calling it "strange" - more like "completely understandable, even if I'd rather you not."

I may, of course, be off-base, because it's really not clear how many pictures of her he does keep around, and how prominently they're displayed; if we're talking one or two, discreetly placed, then it becomes a much more petty thing to complain about.

Also, again, it is disingenuous to act like "not displaying pictures of your late wife all around the house" means "pretending that 10 years of your life didn't happen." I realize this is 4chan and none of us are speaking particularly precisely, so I'm not really criticizing you, just speaking to the peanut gallery.

>>18374384
shes insecure that she will never live up to the same expectarions of your late wife. also women are selfish and wont share, so she feels you are still connected by having those photos

>>18374384
Take copies in case this bitch goes full crazy and gets rid of them for you. But seriously, fuck her. She can get used to it or fuck off. She sounds like a jealous, immature cunt.

>>18386175
I got a bit harsh there, and I really didn't mean to imply that anyone that would feel uncomfortable with those pictures being up is a nut. I think it makes you a little insecure, but that's just me. I also don't think being insecure is the worst thing in the world.

My point is, not everyone is meant to be together. If you have issues with the pictures of my wife in the hall, we aren't going to be able to date. It doesn't make you a bad person. We just aren't going to be compatible.

I don't think it's an unreasonable objection to have. But I also don't think it's unreasonable to say, "No, I want those pictures up there, they are important to me."

And thank you, I worked very hard to get my girlfriend, in large part because she is centered and secure. I wasn't about to just date anyone for the sake of dating them. After losing my wife, I realized I'm okay being on my own, and I'm not about to just settle.

>>18374384
Dude, you've been dating this broad for 2 months.

2.
Months.

That's nothing. That's like a week longer than a really bad herpes outbreak.

Isn't this a little soon for her to be bitching about things in your life? How about she figures out if you two are actually compatible before she starts tackling issues like this.

>>18374411
This. If you haven't moved on, it's become obvious to her and the pictures are just a symbol of that. Be upset at her reaction but also hold yourself accountable.

>>18374432
Do not "have fun with that pussy" and make her feel used; it could very easily lead to revenge.

Drop her, of she can't respect that you loved that woman and she was an important part of your life then she needs to get the fuck out. Seriously. If it was divorce or something - sure, keeping photos seems fishy. But she passed away. There's literally nothing wrong about remembering her and the feelings you had for her. She has no reason to be jealous or try to make you forget or honour your late wife less. Tell her to fuck off and go for someone more mentally developed next

>>18386291
>hold yourself accountable

For what, honoring the memory of a deceased spouse? Take that white knight sword and give yourself a colon cleansing.

>>18374452
THIS.
Anyone saying that your gf is unempathic is making a hyperbole of the situation and being an asshole. You should meet her halfway; if she was really so angry and insecure, she would've left you a while ago. also acknowledge the bravery it took on her part to even make the request. she could've just kept it bottled up forever so you could stay comfy but also fuck her and play house at your own convenience with no way of knowing if you were holding yourself to moving on. then who's being the unempathic one, yknow?
i recognize your wife was a big part of your life, but i've known a lot of people who've lost their loved ones tragically and kept multiple photos out in the open where they could see them everyday. those people are very sad and you can feel the sadness walking into their home.

>>18386303
Dude, there's honoring the memory of a deceased spouse, and there's not moving on. If you haven't moved on, that's fine. Everyone does it at a different rate. You just don't get to be in a new relationship until you do. Grow the fuck up.

>>18386313
>she would've left you a while ago

A while ago being what? 2-3 weeks ago? The relationship is two months old.

> i've known a lot of people who've lost their loved ones tragically and kept multiple photos out in the open where they could see them everyday. those people are very sad and you can feel the sadness walking into their home.

Because those people haven't resolved their feelings, and haven't moved on. It's not the photos that are the problem, it's the people.

If OP hasn't moved on, he shouldn't be dating to begin with. If he has, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having photos up, as long as they aren't literally plastered over every single wall in the house.

>>18386291

Yes, hold yourself accountable while taking the journey of overcoming this grief, this past tragedy, and enjoying your present (even if enjoying means the occasional flip through the photo album to remember her). hold yourself accountable because only you can know if you've moved on, not her and not any of your future girlfriends. thus, do not be so surprised if they ask or hint at it. and when they do, have an answer ready and be fully confident in it because you owe them that much because you are in a relationship with them.

>>18386303
kill yourself first, bitch. i wasn't talking to you.

op, i've seen people waste away from their grief of loss. it's almost just as bad as watching someone waste away in a hospital bed, if not worse, because you know the cure is in themselves and that they themselves don't see it that way. they're waiting for the memory of that person to get easier...it's just not gonna.

>>18386333
>as long as they aren't literally plastered over every single wall in the house.
Or romantic in nature (honeymoon/wedding/them kissing). Or in the bedroom because no one wants to be looking at a picture of someone's late spouse while they're having sex with that person.

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>>18374452
>keeping pictures of deceased loved ones
>I would think it's weird or creepy

Brb gonna take off all the pictures of my deceased grandfather, it's been over 10 years I should at least have moved on a little bit right?

>>18374384
Nah men she's wrong.

The father of a friend of mine past away when she was a teen, het mother has been remarried for almost ten years now. They have some beautiful photo's of her late dad hanging in the house, together with the "new" familiy portrets of the kids and her current husband.
Her dad also died of cancer. And he is still part of their life as a memory of the good man he was, you can't erase that.
If a woman gets sour over a dead spouse from the very beginning just toss her. It's immature, "moving on" means you accept a desperate event and become whole again. Pretending like it never happened by removing photo's is the exact opposite. If she can't deal with that part of you, she's gotta go.

>>18374384
you need to set down that understanding for her. it is and should be understandable for you to keep them up for at least until the relationship becomes more serious. you can't unremember her. you can't forget her. there's no sense in trying to shut the memories out.

>>18380402
Are you stupid? They've been dating for 2 months. I won't even put up with a girl making fun of my family at that stage. You sound pathetic.

>>18374384
That's bullshit anon. Make her understand it was nobody's choice to end your relationship. She left this world, that doesn't mean all your feelings stop. She died, you didn't stop loving her. Even though you have your new wife, and I'm sure you love her, but you need to tell her to respect the fact that you intended to spend the rest of your life with this woman, and she was taken from you. If your wife feels in any way threatened or disheartened by a dead woman still having a piece of your heart, I'd re-evaluate your relationship.

>>18388737
sorry, *girlfriend

Hey there, anon.

I don't have advice for you about this but I want you to know I empathize. I lost my partner a few years ago and falling for someone else again has been really strange.

I hope you have been able to move on. I'm still struggling and your girlfriend's problem is something I've been worrying about as well.

>>18379871
absurd has a stronger connotation compared to unreasonable

ie
it is unreasonable to be sad over a toy breaking
it is absurd to kill your family because your brother stepped on your toy breaking it

>>18374384

Keeping pictures of your late wife is absolutely understandable. However, if you're at the point where you've moved on enough to start a new relationship (whether you're in one or not), they shouldn't really be on display.

>>18388737
this

>>18388927
I really don't get this. Why would you not display a photo of your family?