This is a long one, but I'd really appreciate some advice.

>>18362829
>essentially raped me
What do you mean by this

>>18362835
He came over to my house when I asked him repeatedly not to. When he got there I sat him down and tried to explain to him the meaning of the word "consent". I had just gotten out of the shower so I was just in a bathrobe. He kind of sat there for a minute like he was thinking it over, then he started crying. I felt bad, went over to comfort him, and he sort of brought me up to my room. I guess I thought he just wanted to cuddle? But that's pretty stupid. That's why I say it was "kind of" rape. I feel like I should've been smarter and just not gone upstairs with him. I definitely allowed this to happen. Anyway, we wound up on my bed, and before I know it he has his dick out. I wasn't expecting it so I was completely dry, but he shoved it in anyway and PLEASE believe me, it hurt like a BITCH. I teared up a bit but he didn't see, and I just lay there until he was done and couldn't look him in the face or really talk to him very much after. As he was leaving, we said goodbye and he pulled my chin up to kiss him, but I just felt so hollow. But I never said "no" or "stop" or anything; from his perspective I was probably being cold and frigid, I guess

>>18362870
what would you be reaching out for? Obviously you didn't like what he did, would you just be chewing him out? I'm not sure I understand.

>>18362878
It sucks to just live being angry or upset with people. It just doesn't feel good. I want to forgive and move on, I think that would feel best emotionally. I guess I'm looking for closure, but I don't know if seeking it would open up to many new cans of worms

You stupid bitch ....he raped you then you got all butt hurt about it he still wanted to talk to you but you ignored him ....he unfriended you so he wouldn't look at your page every fucking hour ...he unfriended you so he won't come back and kill you stupid ass...now your asking us if you should contact him like wtf !!!! Either tell him to come and take that pussy again or shut the fuck up and get out of his life stupid cunt !!!!!!

>>18362829
Do not reach out. That chapter in your life is over. You can regret that it's over and you can remember the good times with nostalgia, but absolutely nothing good will come of reconnecting with him.

Seek closure in blocking him. Accept that he brought a lot of damage into your life and the best course of action for both of you will be to cease all contact. If you care about him think about this: after you block him he'll finally have a definitive no. He can start to get over you and move on. But honestly, you should care about yourself primarily. If you don't want to don't be mad at him, just make it a promise to yourself that for your own emotional good he stays in the past. I'm sorry to hear what happened to you and I hope you'll find peace. Good luck.

>a rapist
>not a bad person
Fuck girl did he damage your brain too
Are you mental

Oh my god, darling, go see a therapist. That WAS rape and you DID NOT WANT THIS and YOU DID NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN. Somebody violated you terribly and it's not your fault. As a man I can clearly see when a girl is into something I do or she's feeling uncomfortable. HE KNEW YOU FOR 4 YEARS. Theres NO WAY he didnt realise. Stay away from him, please. You're like a case from a psyhology handbook, blaming yourself and feeling sorry for him. GET A THERAPY, PLEASE, SWEETHEART.

fun fact: everyday a grill on 4chin got raped in some way

>>18362870
kek I like how there are like daily posts describing events like this on /adv/ now

>>18362919
>>18362944
Thank you both. It's so far in the past at this point that I thought we would both have the emotional distance for it not to matter so much, but I can see how we could both do well without a return to that time in our lives. I appreciate the kind words.
>>18362950
Good people can do bad things anon!! Sometimes the best people have very dark sides, I've found.
>>18362976
I had one my sophomore year of college but she didn't really do all that much, as she was an overworked health and couseling worker for my school. Still, it was nice to talk to someone. I'm looking into getting a more professional therapist right now.

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>>18362829
Stupid Dumb Brain-Dead Ameritard/Western Normie. You're too stupid to know common sense because your pathetic parents and their parents all failed to eat their own shit and humble themselves.

Your Atlanticist degenerate way of life is coming to an end. Whether Republican or Democrat, Conservative or Liberal, Christard or Fedora Atheist, you're all of the same stock of easily manipulable Atlanticist immoral inferior retardation. The day of the demiurge will soon be at hand, as the inferior Europeans and semitic Jewish/Muslim creatures of the Arab world crumble in the wake of the ancient Aryan Eurasianist Logos. Purge yourself of the stupid inside and around you, for the bubble you live in will burst soon and you will burn proportional to the taint in your being.

>>18362870
do you still think about him, sexually, after this.
be honest

>>18363003
Wow. Thank you. You've really put it all in perspective. I may have had some shitty things happen in my life, but at least I'll never be as deeply and absurdly schizoid-level ranting insane as you.

>>18363006
I don't know, it's been so long, I barely remember what our usual sex was like, I just remember that one incident being extremely painful. I guess abstractly he'll always have a sexual connotation in my memory, mostly because I was my first and he always had a really high libido and made me do things I didn't really want to do sexually. That last time, though, I don't really consider it to be sex, just because it was all him and I wasn't really doing anything but laying there.

>>18363016
http://www.renegadetribune.com/order-chaos-magic-dark-roots-alt-right/

http://en.kalitribune.com/hell-comes-to-frogtown-alt-right-and-triumph-of-transhumanism/

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What i think is..your not being eevil enough..xd..but really..call the cops or something..it seems he would go at it again and again since he is unstable..dont live a fantasy world..fucked him up before he fucks you up..."hes not a bad person", that respond reminds me of another girl who got abused by her boyfriend, same shit and everything, she told me she wanted to go back to him, she though in her poor mind that he would change,, I told her that people never change( and if they do its one of the rarest things you will ever see) she got mad at me and fucking left the chat, well its her choice, not mine, its just interesting to see so many people fucked up their lives, and for a free fee, xd.Btw i didnt read all comments, fucked it, not now.

He's weak.
You cheated on him and he forgave you.
Cause he is weak.
You pretend he raped but I don't believe it, that's bullshit, you wouldn't be so chill about it and you wouldn't say he is a nice guy.

To me it feels like you want to destroy that guy, you know he is dependant and you like to know he misses you, you like that he is desperate to get news from you.

You enjoy making him feel bad because you guys had sex, you even made him believe it was rape and he now feels like shit, cause it's easy for you to make him feel like shit, and you love it.

The truth is that you like the fact that he runs after you, you like that attention, it's like a net just in case everything in your life falls apart. And you play, you know he's hurt, and you loooove it, it fucking turns you on to know he is hurt.


What next ? Your grandma dies, you'll say it's his fault and you know 100% sure he's so in love he will say sorry for it anyway.


You're the worst kind of emotionless abusive fucking slut that has ever put a foot on this planet. Girls like you are the worst, you're capable of playing with a guy for years just for the thrill of it, the power it makes you feel.

Do him a favor, I would even say, save him and block him for good.

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Whoa there Phelps calm down