I'm a lonely son of a bitch. I'm married. I have two

See a therapist. How the fuck would we know? All we can do is go off evidence but you just there's n reason for this. You need professional help.

Those people are lacking some integral quality that you need/want emotionally, so you're not emotionally connecting with them. You need to either seek out people who have this quality, whatever it is, or you must learn to supply this quality to yourself amply enough so as not to feel alone.

That'll be $20.

>>18360922
OP here.

K, fine, I get that, but what is it? What am I missing?

>>18360853
This is what happens to you fools that marry women with kids. The companionship and emotional attachment you would get from your wife or SO is not available to you since her focus and priority is her kids with another man. However, you are isolated since your focus is as a husband, surrogate father and provider for her world.

>>18360941
Even if she didn't have any kids,
if we would've had any, what would've been the difference? She'd still devote her time to them.

>>18360951
You're being emotionally neglected. The question who has been doing it to you more?

Your wife... or you?

People emotionally neglect themselves all the time, so it's not so far beyond reason that you could be doing it to yourself. The question you should ask at that point is how much should you rely on your spouse emotionally vs how much should you rely on yourself? But that's a personal choice that depends entirely on you.

>>18360951
I agree the children would take priority but if you were the father the love between you and your children would be fulfilling. As it is you have nothing coming back at you. Your wife could pack her shit today and leave and her kids wouldn't give a shit they already got a daddy.

Seriously OP. Been right where you are.

>>18360951

Your role as their step-father can only go so far. Ultimately, although you might be close to them, they will never be your biological children and you will always be known as the step-dad.

If you had children with her, they would be your biological children. You would have hopefully made the choice together to have a child and it would be a completely shared responsibility.

It's a huge difference. It's why most people choose not to date people who already have children.

>>18360965
If she did, she has no fall back career to go to, not a whole lot of family to speak of and none of them willing to help her out, and she has always told me she doesn't know if she could find anyone else, although to me she's a woman so OF COURSE she'd find someone else eventually.

>>18360981
Too difficult to have kids. She had her tubes tied before we met, and even then my sperm is fairly weak. We did IVF twice. First one didn't take, and although we had a set of twins the second time around she miscarried. We decided that she's a bit too old to try again and even then we don't have the money.

>>18360853
I feel the same quite often, got family, gf , job but I'm still lonely.

>>18361007
Sucks about losing your kids. Sorry man.
At least you didn't get emotionally attached to them.

Leave. Your. Wife. And. Leave. HER. Kids. Or if you are too much of a pussy to change your life then maybe you should stop complaining.

I have been there but not with a wife who had other kids. Mine was a result of depression. However it could also be a result of your current circumstances. I agree with anon that marrying people with kids is a bad idea. They have kids and the kids have another parent. You take last place. Bottom line, see a therapist.

>>18361636
Not complaining, just telling it how it is for me. I don't remember mentioning anything about hating my kids, wife, etc., so who's the real asshole here?

This is a hard one.
I remember dealing with loneliness and depression a long time ago. Even around others the feeling never really went away. I think I'd have to say that one guy is right. What you're lacking is something in yourself. An emotional base. I'm not certain how I grew out of the feeling but I think i eventually accepted that l wasn't always gonna be happy. There would be times when I was gonna be alone. You kinda have to accept that and learn to be okay with being alone I think, to support yourself.
I'm not you so I can't say this is correct but I just wanted to say that I've been through the same sorta thing.
Maybe take a walk somewhere and force yourself to actually be alone for a time every other day, and learn to be comfortable with solitude.

>>18361007
I'm very sorry for your troubles, OP. Sincerely.

I don't have any advice; I feel empty all the time too, and I don't know how to make it go away. I just have tried to be alone when it kicks in, and push it down as much as possible. That's not good, obviously, and you probably don't have the same opportunities for alone time like I do with your family. I don't know what I'm saying, really, just that I'm sorry you're in pain.