Hello. I'm an androgynous woman, and I thought my problem

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>fucking WALL of text

Wear makeup
Grow out your hair
Wear feminine clothes like skirts
Act more feminine

>>18359862
I guess there's no doubt that it was written by a women then, huh? Thanks guys, I'm here all week, try the veal

>>18359879
Not to underscore it, but your looks aren't the problem here. Your neuroticism is going to kill any physical beauty you develop, so let's take things one at a time.

What do you ultimately want from being cuter? Attention, self-esteem, or a mate?

>>18359886
You're right, I don't know how to interact with people without being crazy and cringy. I want the last two things. How do I get a better personality? And I think my personality is a result of being insecure and sheltering myself from people's bullying, and being hypersensitive and always trying to make sure nobody misunderstands my intentions or isn't clear on what I am trying to convey. I read really fast so I guess I didn't see the problem in talking so much

>>18359866
>>18359866
Doesn't sound fun but ok. I kind of look ellen page-esque, but am not a lesbian so this makes me sad because I actually like looking like a chimney sweep of ye olden days or wearing my baggy grandpa cardigans, or not showing off my figure and I'm pretty uncomfortable wearing dresses because it feels like the general public is stare raping me (i joke but it's true, guys check me out and it's awkward). I am gonna try giving thinner eyebrows a shot. I was hoping you guys would have more abstract advice like changing the pitch of my voice or eating more salads and doing squats. I don't mean to shoot down your guys' ideas, it's just I prefer dressing the way I dress, I hate that my face isn't cute enough though

Also thanks for not being rude. I know you guys are trying to help but I feel like anything I do doesn't work. I'm actually not trying hard enough and I can admit that. I have low self esteem. I'm only 20 so I wanna deal with this before I"m 50 and single because I couldn't get a date

>>18359892
It's okay, you are certainly not alone and the last thing you need to do anymore is self-deprecate.

So, you want self-esteem and someone to be with. Ultimately you want respect then. If you can't respect yourself, then you do things like apologize up front, or overshare in order to potentially stem the risk of being hurt. This is normal today sadly.

You mentioned you don't exercise, makeup is a bit tedious and that you are unsure if your androgyny is a help or a hindrance. I think a lot of these other questions you have will fall into place by building the most fundamental building block of self-respect - responsibility. I highly suggest you do some basic exercises that emphasize aspects of your body you want to work on, and practice applying make-up every single day. Do not make excuses. Dedicate time every day - and not just for a set goal of a week or a month. Respect is hard won, and it starts with you.

There are many other things and I know it sounds cliche but when you can wake up in the morning and tell yourself you know exactly what you are doing, that you've accomplished it before and you'll continue to work at it - you begin to build self-respect. And when you can respect yourself, potential mates will notice and have a reason to respect you.

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>>18359904
You're so smart. I want to help people, in the long run, I want to be an animator and a writer and live in a big city. I want to be normal, and I let my face hold me back but what actually holds me back is me. I think I probably have low hormones if anything, from lack of doing anything. You're right on the nail with the self respect thing, I think people can tell I lack of it and it makes them uncomfortable, for which I don't blame them, I don't vent to strangers or moan about how hard my life is but I'm just so awkward it's like, girl. Grow up and maybe take a "understanding social cues" lesson. I'm gonna massage my face with olive oil and jojoba (it's this thing I do) and drink some tea, and hopefully start making enough money where I can move out of my mom's house (I know lol) and make myself. Getting a mate is not my top priority, mostly I want to blend in and when people see me not thing "wtf is that thing", regardless of whether I am interested in them or not. I am really interested in 1960s mod fashion of dress and looking put together and bookish, like a hot librarian lol. I know it's not just the way I dress though, I used to be able to pull off being a cute tomboy but something changed

>>18359940
It sounds like you know what you want, so go get it!

For the record I know what you're going through. I had self-esteem issues to the point of almost committing suicide. I'm transgender and had to spend about 7 years building myself up to being a person who I could tolerate. I too had a plain face, bad body and didn't know shit about make-up, hair care, body care, or in general how to take care of myself. I too wanted to move to a big city, get my dream job working on video games and then find someone to love.

I got all of it. It took 10 years of working my ass off, sacrificing things I thought defined me, forcing myself to be social despite hating social situations, learning my trade, building up my finances, working on my body and creating who I wanted to be but I got all of it. In the end though it wasn't hormones, my husband, or my career that helped me. For me it was faith. For you it could be different.

You're open to the right ideas, I know you'll go far.

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>>18359956
Awwww I'm so happy. My goals aren't far off, or too unreasonable so I know I can get them, I really needed a boost though and it helps knowing other people got out alive. The things that keep me going are music, drawing, books, watching youtube, etc. my hobbies basically, so I think I have those to fall back on for now having no friends. I know I'm not gonna magically become hot and then suddenly my problems will be better, but I cannot help but shake the fear that people are judging me even if they're not. You're right though, I need to get on this plane of reality and stop thinking about my looks, and just be! I'm too hard on myself, I waste a lot of time with my anxiety

>>18359966
for you* I'm a burnout and I meant to say I'm so happy for you. Sorry, I realise I talk about myself too much, it most likely is undiagnosed aspergers. Would you say it was hard to discover what you wanted to do and finally crack down on making it happen? I know it's not just easy peasy but I mean is it hard to push yourself to finally change and see the light? Not that I am not doing just that, but for a while I was really negative and blamed the world. And thanks for your help, I appreciate it a lot. I wish you luck in your future endeavours and you seem like a really nice and helpful person!!!

>>18359973
It's harder than words can adequately capture. You will lose who you are right now, and become someone you might even hate right now. But that's the only thing worth fighting for isn't it? Something that is so difficult that even if you don't accomplish it the mere journey getting there forged you into something better?

I was homeless, drug addled and resentful of the world since I was 14. I had no reason to want to do anything, who cares at that point? I didn't. No one else in my life did. But when you hate the world for so long, you tend to hate yourself. And then you come to a decision - end it or try harder. There is absolutely zero advice I can give to anyone who reaches that moment. Only that you have a choice, and pain aplenty.

I'm happy to help, I love it really. I know we'll never meet but if I can help even just one soul in my lifetime have that much less suffering, I'll have a life I can look back on as worthy. I wish you luck and happiness too anon!

>>18359837
Whatever. You're clearly attractive. You reject anyone who seems interested in you. Then you neurotically blame minute aspects of your appearance for your behavior. Dress cuter, never get chubby, and go on a few dates with people you like talking to.