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how do i seriously learn to be more sensible?
somehow i manged to make my bf cry two days in a row without wanting to do that at all.
i just kond of overboard and say thing i do mean, but maybe i say them in the wrong situations, tone or to people who can't cope with it.
the first instance was that i told him that i think he isn't very good at managing his energy resources. he is always tired and it's often because he can't say no and never prioritizes his earned rest time. this results in him being stressed, lacking docus, being exhausted and generally an emotional mess. i told him that he can't go on like that, even thought being "selfless" (aka putting everybody else's needs above his) is one of his deepest values. i told him that nobody benefits of him burning out, not even the people he usually puts "above his own needs". so he started to cry because i "know exactly that that's just how he is".
cont.
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a day later we briefly touched on the subject again whilst laying in bed, ready to sleep. he said that he "won't be able to sleep anyways" (because i said that). to which i, admitedly annoyed, told him to "stop doing that". i told him that i really dislike him trying to make me feel bad for telling him something i felt like i needed to tell him. i told him that when he tells me stuff like that i feel guilty for even opening my mouth and will seriously consider not saying anything in the future because i don't want to be the cause for him being even more exhausted. he started to cry again, telling me i hurt him very badly by essentially telling him to "pull himself together". i tried to explain that that's not what i wanted to say, and that it would have made a big difference if he had said "what we talked about really makes me think and i might have to dwell on it for a little longer" instead of "thanks for giving me insomnia". i know he has a habit of dwelling on shit long past their time, i tried to make him see that this fucks him over badly and that the healthier approach would be to think something trough, come to a conclusion and then give it some rest. but he prevers to brood over it for nights.
what now? i feel like i'm breaking him...
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He's being a bitch. Are you in philly? I'll take care of you.
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>>18357263
>>18357265
He kind of sounds like a baby.
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>>18357274
i knew he's not very sturdy emotionally. but i honestly wasn't prepared for that level of sensitive. i'm the exact opposite (i can't remember when im i've cried the last time. probably as a little kid), so it's a very strange thing to me and i have no clue how to deal. in our family, we talk like we wat and nobody gets offended. i think he has very low selfesteem and every little critique is a huge blow to his fundament. like he can't decide on his onw if he wants to consider what i said or not. it's like, if i say something, that's now writen in stone to be true and he has to rearange his whole character because of it. when somebody criticized me, i consider their opinion carefully, but if i disagree, then that's that.
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Holy fuck women with no empathy are the worst
How are you going to know what your baby needs if you fail to read an average man
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>>18357291
Be honest, are you really able to expect a grown to suddenly cry like a bitch all the time?
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>>18357291
i do have empathy... i just am not used to people being THAT sensitive. how can i expect that if i never before encountered it?
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>>18357297
Not really, no, even people who cry a lot as children end up not crying in their adulthood
I dont know why your boyfriend behaves like a bitch, how did he even make it to being your boyfriend?
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>>18357300
well, i think him being so sensible is related to him being exhausted. that's why i even told him that in the first place. it's like walking on egg shells atm...
it might also be that i have high expectations for him. for example, he flat out forgot his dad's birthday. luckily, his brother reminded him. so i asked if he has sent a text to atleast say "happy birthday" (because if he hasn't, i would have sent one immediately since i feel like that's the minimum one should do...). he told me that he hasn't, and i was really shocked. i mean, he got reminded and then he tells me he doesn't even have the decency to send a simple textmessage? so i openly told him that i'm pretty shocked he didn't even gratulate his dad (he has a rather close and good relationship with him, guess he was just too lazy). he immediatley got defensive and told me to not "scream at him" ( i wasn't screaming at all. i was speaking in normal voice volume, maybe with a bit tension because i was so unprepared for this). then i asked if i should send one, to which he replied that he has already sent one. wtf?
he's also stressed at work, but that's why i told him he needs to seriously consider his priorities to not burn out over this.
i'm a bit lost, adv...
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How the fuck is a real street nigga like me single and then some pussy ass bitch who cries as a grown man gets a gf? God truly works in mysterious ways.
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>>18357335
Fucking this
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