So /r9k/ told me to go here If there's any chads online

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Cont.
I don't think we even have that much in common or if she would even want to date me. She reminds me of me at age 16* (obsessed with video games and nerd culture) in a bad way. I'm not sure if I could even do as good as her, or if the social value of being in a relationship with someone would be worth it. My coworkers would think I'm a normalfag and would then think higher of me which would be good for my career. I feel like all my options are equally bad and that I'm headed for disaster in any way, but I still can't decide which one should I take

*she's my age, I'm not dating 16 year olds like some pedo

(these posts are really turning out to be rebbit-tier now that I think about it)

>>18355630

As a relative normy who has used Tinder a lot, walk away from it. From what I can read you want a gf and you're not a pump and dump kinda guy. This girl is emotionally stunted and will only drag you down with her. If you feel like there is a shot at the puss keep going, but keep your wallet tucked away.

If you want to date a retard, go ahead. Usually people are not attracted to stupid people. If you think it is elitist to be attracted to intelligence, you must live in a really horrible country, haha.

You gave all those pointless details but weren't clear on the most important one. Do you like her? Did you enjoy your time with her?

>>18355692
I'm an emotionally stunted mildly autistic manchild. Give me a break
>Do you like her?
I'm having a hard time telling if I actually like her, or if I just feel flattered by a girl actually wanting to go on a date with me.
>Did you enjoy your time with her?
Playing videogames and eating pizza is always enjoyable for me and having a girl close to me who wanted to spend time with me gave me a nice ego boost. Then again playing videogames and eating pizza is enjoyable for me with pretty much anyone.
Maybe I'm lonely and just overthinking this.

>>18355668
>If you think it is elitist to be attracted to intelligence, you must live in a really horrible country, haha.
I'm not saying its elitist to be attracted to intelligence, I'm saying I feel like an elitist for feeling so dumbfounded when meeting someone who's noticeable less smarter than me.

>>18355715
>Maybe I'm lonely and just overthinking this.
It does sound like that's the case. I think you should hang out with her a few more times to make your mind. The way you are right now you'll probably overthink like that any relationship with any girl.

Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you have some issues. You seem to have absolutely no confidence and put too much emphasis on everyone's opinion. You seem to care only about what's the "right" thing to do in society's eyes and ignore how it makes you feel to the point where you don't even consider it. Basically you seem very disconnected from your emotions and you have no individuality. These are pretty big issues and they will prevent you from being happy, developing a personality and raising above (or even to) mediocrity.

I know this is unrelated, but what I think you should be focusing on is figuring out what your values and ideals are and sticking with them. So far you seem to only value intelligence and that's fine, but also very vague. You should start reading non-fiction and try to find some interests, these are the foundation for your values, beliefs and ultimately your personality.

>>18355797
>It does sound like that's the case. I think you should hang out with her a few more times to make your mind
That would indeed help with the general feeling of loneliness and help me learn how to talk to girls better.
>Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you have some issues
I've got so many issues. I'm a virgin at 21, never had a gf and the only thing I've got going for me is a job as a web software developer I've somehow managed to acquire (which allows me to afford my own flat and a great supply of alcohol). I've got basically zero experience with girls and it leads to me overanalyzing everything and making threads like these.
>You seem to care only about what's the "right" thing to do in society's eyes and ignore how it makes you feel to the point where you don't even consider it
I've probably got aspergers (saying "probably", since its very overdiagnosed and I don't recognize that many of the symptons in myself) which occasionally leads to me trying to choose the logically best option. I don't think I even know what I really want. Logically the best thing would be to advance my career in any way possible since more money would give me more freedom, but money can't plug all the holes and eventually I'd crack and lose my mind.
>Basically you seem very disconnected from your emotions and you have no individuality
I might have some, but I can't really bring it out that much since its mostly 4chan-tier memes, opinions and music. Maybe it comes from using 4chan and other imageboards since the age of 13 (I'm not underage, see above). Practically being raised by this site has helped me (recognizing whats autistic and whats not), but it has also made me slightly xenophobic and sorta misogynist. I also place too much value on the opinions on fellow anons.
>You should start reading non-fiction and try to find some interests, these are the foundation for your values, beliefs and ultimately your personality.
Care to dump any /lit/ guides?

>>18355630
>irritation
Hmm, really? That's the real questionable thing here. How bad was her lack of knowledge? And does she just not do anything for a living?

>"smart" girl that'll judge you for your inadequacies (the way you describe yourself it seems like you have a couple) and possibly shun you if you fuck up
>sweet geek that probably won't judge you

She's probably someone that'll be fun to hang out with, low-effort. No need to make it something serious--just make sure you don't lead her on.

>>18355849
>do you have /lit/ guides

This is exactly what's wrong with you as a person

>>18355849
I don't have any "/lit/ guides" but I can recommend a few books.

"Mastery" by Robert Greene sounds like what you should read first. It gives some great insight into the minds of people who achieved mastery and how you can get there. The thing is, it also offers some information about many different fields, from physics to painting and sociology. It can help you figure out what domains you're interested in so you can chose your further reading material based on that.

Other than that I'll give you some books relating to psychology, because I believe it's the most important subject you can study outside your chosen field and everybody should do it.

"You are not so smart" and "You are now less dumb" by David McRaney. They tell you what you think and feel, how you think and feel and why you think and feel certain things. Some of the most eye-opening books I've read.

"Power of habit" by Charles Duhigg. Mandatory read for anybody who wants to improve their quality of life. As title suggests explains how important habits are (they pretty much rule your whole life), how they work, how gain good habits and how to lose bad ones.

"The 48 laws of power" and "Art of seduction" by Robert Greene. They pretty much describe how manipulation work and give you some good practices that can be applied to pretty much anything. Can help you a lot with relationships and career.

"Models" by Mark Manson. This book is pretty much "how to slay pussy" by Chaddius Thunderloins. Offers some great advice on relationships and other aspects of your life though.

"10% Happier" by Dan Harris and "Happiness" by Matthieu Ricard. Just because I wanted to shoehorn something about meditation and Buddhism in here. They were life-changing books for me, I recommend giving them a try, they're interesting reads if nothing else.

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Honestly all these posts in the thread might have caused me to have a personal crisis of sorts. Makes me wish I had never installed tinder and makes me wonder what kind of a person I'd be if I had never gone on 4chan in the first place. Should I just seek professinal help or is it just an another scam?

(Full disclosure, I spent around 30-40 minutes on this single post.)

>>18355893
>That's the real questionable thing here. How bad was her lack of knowledge?
For example we were watching a movie and a shot with a bartender came up. She was wondering where one could buy bottles with the bartender pouring spouts. She kept asking similar stupid-ish questions during the film. Maybe she's just one of those people who speak their mind easily, but her general attitude towards things seemed really childish
>And does she just not do anything for a living?
She's a NEET, but trying to gain employment
>She's probably someone that'll be fun to hang out with, low-effort. No need to make it something serious--just make sure you don't lead her on.
This sounds sensible enough, but I'm not even sure if she liked me or if she has other guys lined up. Even being friends with her could be fun enough since I don't really have any female friends and having one would help me learn to regard women as just fellow humans and not some weird distant creatures. I was able to make conversation with her easily enough, but mostly on shallow topics.

>>18355912
I know I need to stop trying to follow 4chan guides like a slave, but it just feels easier to have an infographic that clearly tells you what to do instead of having to figure stuff out for yourself.

>>18355925
and now this post comes along and makes me want to follow it like a slave.

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>>18355968
Yes, anon, heed and follow my words, I shall make a god among men out of you. It's all so simple, you don't have to think about anything, you just have to follow my advice, no need to think too hard about anything. Can't you see, anon, I only want your good and you know that I know best what's good for you.

But seriously now, I'm not giving you any instructions on how to live your life. I'm only recommending you some books. Some books that may help you make an informed decision on how to live your life. Because that was my whole point, you need to think for yourself. But to think for yourself you must know yourself and the world around you. Otherwise you'd just be making arbitrary decisions and judgements that have no purpose and will most likely lead you into a downwards spiral of failure and self pity.

Regretting the past is pointless now. We all have these small crises once in a while, but we should be using them to try and figure out what's the best course of action in the present, not worry about the future or dwell on the past. I don't think your issues warrant professional help, but then again I'm not a professional psychologist and I only know what you posted here. I think that many people are in your situation and most of them don't even realize it. It's not such a huge problem as you (and probably I in my second comment, now that I think about it) made it sound. Yes, you have issues. So do I, so does everyone else. The earth won't explode because of that.

That being said talking to a professional psychologist can help. It can also be a waste of money and time. Or it can even lead you to a worse path than you're on right now, depending on the psychologist. But, chances are it will help you, because those people are trained specifically for this purpose, unlike me and the other anons here. That applies to anyone, no matter what issues they have. It even applies to people who have no real issues and their life seems great.

>>18355968
How about you delegate some of the unproductive things you want to normally do (like see a certain show or play a game) as things to do with her? Other guys or not, it might be worth being friends with her.
>spouts
...You sure that you're not experiencing the shock of what it's like to be with a girl who isn't uptight and is open, child-like, curious? Is she the type of person who genuinely doesn't learn at all and is repetitive as fuck (aka, she is truly dumb)? Or are you associating intelligence with simply not being childish?

If she consistently is
>unable to make a connection with you
>always is shallow (there's no light breaking through the clouds)
>doesn't give you a sense of peace/belonging to be around (no matter how hard to try to accept her)
then she just isn't worth hanging out with. Keep it simple like that.

>personal crisis
sorry anon. To be fair, a ton of people tend to easily go along with what other people say. It's really nothing new. >>18356064 is right. And, for what it's worth, I think it's a good thing that you're questioning shit. A lot of people stay sheepish their entire lives.

>>18356128
Also don't get too caught up in feeling like you're a slave. Self-fulfilling prophecies sound dumb but they actually do sometimes occur...

>think of yourself as being something
>the more concrete and real it becomes to you
>the more your thoughts return to it
>the more you become what you think you are

As long as you're questioning things and making moves to explore your identity (intelligence, values/principles, and creativity) you're no slave.

>>18356128
>How about you delegate some of the unproductive things you want to normally do (like see a certain show or play a game) as things to do with her? Other guys or not, it might be worth being friends with her.
This seems like sound advice, since even hanging out with her while making no "progress" or "moves" was fun enough.
>You sure that you're not experiencing the shock of what it's like to be with a girl who isn't uptight and is open, child-like, curious?
I've got minimal experience with girls, so maybe Its just that. Maybe is the combination or her decor (plushes of pokemon and other anime-tier stuff combined with nerd culture tchotchkes) and her general attitude remind me of myself at 16 and caused me to feel negative emotions? Maybe its just me remembering the cringeworthy stuff cousing (around three years older than me) used to ask me while we were watching movies, which causes me to regard all curiousness as being childish. N oidea, but I'll definitely text her tomorrow when I'm sober and ask her out to see a movie on the weekend.

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Okay so I've thought about the advice you've all given me and it seems sound enough. Dumping some of my "moot"-folder as thanks