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My gut tells me this is an awful idea but I know I need to do it anyway.
I won't go very deep into details because I don't need to justify it, just have any of you willing to give their input an understanding of the situation.
I just got rejected. Naturally I feel like shit. But going over what was said I realised something. Actually not that much has being said yet (for reasons, it is over messaging). Well I said I like her and asked her if she felt the same way. She said she liked me as a friend.
Thinking it over what I came to think was that in a sense it wasn't a complete rejection. Once again, not much else has been said yet, but I'm hoping to speak to her soon. And I thought, maybe I could give it a last-ditch effort from another angle.
I am planning to tell her a bit more about why I like her, and then ask again, but this time along the lines of "would you be willing to give it a shot?".
I know my odds of success aren't particularly high. Fuck, I don't know how I'll be able to cope with a double-rejection. But I know I won't be satisfied if I don't give it everything I've got.
In terms of advice, I mainly want to know how you'd actually pose this second attempt; what kind of words you'd use.
The other thing is there's a bunch of other things I want to say and in imagining how the conversation is going to go, I can't imagine how I'm going to fit it in with everything else. For example, I want to ask her why she feels the way she does, and on the one hand knowing the answer will help me know how to handle telling her I like her again. On the other hand if I defeat lady luck and am successful I won't even need to ask it (and really I'd rather not have to ask it). Another thing is I want to tell her about how important my friendship with her still is and how I want it to continue the way it has been. On the one hand I think saying that is almost like accepting defeat, on the other it might help show me in a more caring light.
So yeah, advice is much appreciated!
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Don't do it, man. She isn't going to come around the second time and the heartache will only get worse. Take it as it is and improve yourself into someone she would want to be with. If you follow through with this you will definitely ruin your relationship with her if you haven't already. She will think that all you want to do is be with her as a bf and stop hanging around you. DONT DO IT OP, FOR YOUR OWN SAKE
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Women do not like it when you tell them "about why you like them." You have to go there and be assertive.
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You know, I don't want to be an asshole but I will be straight with you because that's the most effective way to cut down to the core. You are completely beta and you approach this in a completely beta way. You telling her that you like her or explaining to her why you like her won't make her fall in love for you and give you a chance.
You have to look attractive to her. That's literally it. There's a reason why so many women and up fucking dudes or go into relationships with guys that don't give much of a shit about them. That means liking her is not a necessity or valuable at all in getting her to be your girlfriend.
If you want to get her interested in you, start talking to her less or even ignoring her while hanging out with other girls. No, you don't have to hang out with them with the incentive to bang or anything. You also don't have to like them. But she needs to see you spending time with other girls. Afterwards you straight up ask her for a date and she will most likely say yes, because by being liked by other women you appear tremendously more attractive to her.
That's what I did to my best female friend in junior high and she started randomly kissing me and sending me flirty texts. And she totally friendzoned me before.
Tbh, I didn't do it on purpose with my best female friend back then.
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She already said she doesn't like you romantically.
Just accept it and learn from your mistakes.
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>>18355147
I completely get your point and I'm aware I'm not in the best state of mind to make decisions. But the way I'm seeing it is like in that Narnia book where it's like if you don't do it you'll be left forever wondering what would have happened if you did. I haven't given complete details and my reading of our conversation is that she hasn't completely closed the door (and she is still acting quite friendly towards me). But I'll definitely take your words into account
>>18355154
Frankly I'm just not a very assertive person and I wouldn't know how I could be more assertive in this situation.
>>18355165
I do kinda get it. And I know I'm a beta (although much less than I once was). I'm kinda hoping the culture difference makes a difference there to some degree (she's jap).
Funnily enough I actually have quite a few female friends and acquaintances although I don't know how aware of that she is. But I actually reckon that works against me because my impression is in that culture they don't like that kind of guy you're talking about.
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I'm bloody tired and need to sleep but I'll read all replies
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>>18355191
>I'm kinda hoping the culture difference makes a difference there to some degree (she's jap).
Jesus, don't even go there. Biology transcends what culture can teach you and every woman on this planet perceives the same core traits as attractive. And that is being confident, taking what you want and being liked by other women. I'm not telling you to be a fuccboi. But whatever, it's your choice to hope things work out. Or make things work out.
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Treat her like a bitch or get a girlfriend. Hoes always want what they can't have. Try getting a job and start spending it up or bill Cosby her
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>>18355154
>Women do not like it when you tell them "about why you like them."
This x10000. If she said she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you. Giving her reasons as to why YOU like her won't change her reasons for not liking you. Don't be such a cringey beta, OP.
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>>18355139
Please don't do this. She has stated that she wants to be friends, but your gf. Explaining why you like her will not change her view. You need to boost your self-esteem, social skills and confidence man. You don't have to a cringey alpha, but you can't put your happiness in the hands of this person who has told you she doesn't like you romantically. You'll cause yourself more pain and ruin your friendship with her.
If a girl you weren't attracted to at all asked you out and you told her no, but you wanted to be friends, would you really take her out just because she explained why she liked you and asked you again? You told her that you're not interested and she's asking again.
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>>18355139
the best thing for you to do after rejection is move on.
>huur duur thats not true what does that have to do with getting her
I guarantee moving on would give you the highest chance of ever getting her.
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