/adv/ i need help, i fucked up real bad. TLDR >18 >hangout

>>18353618

Don't say shit and lawyer up, you fucking scumbag.

>>18353629
This

The college will drag you through the fucking dirt, there's no stoping that. Just make sure they can't hold it against you outside it,

genuine question:
if you can't be held accountable for consent when you're drunk on account of your impaired decision making, how can you be held accountable for fingering somebody?

>>18353645

Because we hold people accountable for crimes.

Saying "Stop that, you fucking scumbag" is not a crime.

Any other pillars of logic you need illuminated?

>>18353664
whoa, I'm not talking about if she says "no" or "stop", obviously that makes it rape and not-okay

I'm talking about when people say "silence doesn't mean consent", so if you and a girl are both drunk as fuck, and you start groping her, and she doesn't resist or say no, then the next day why would you be accountable for rape? if the girl in that situation "wasn't aware of what she was doing", then how is the guy?

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>>18353618
You're so fucked, introduce yourself to my friend over here cause he's gonna be taking your ass to pound town in jail.

>>18353697
But on a serious note, why would you do that, I know it's all jokes and shit on here but were talking about real life here, especially with all the pro women against rape and consent demonstrations going on these last couple of years, why did you think it would work out ?

>>18353645
Should drunk driving not be a crime?

>>18353679

Anon misread it.

Your logic makes sense, but men get screwed by the justice system.

Again, they lean toward "crime" vs "not crime" - and place the "burden of consent" on the male.

Not saying it's right, but that's how it works.

>>18353717
I'm not saying it should be one way or the other, I'm asking why the two aren't considered equivalent.

for the record I personally believe that you're responsible for not getting black-out drunk in a situation where you might be unsafe (as a girl) or if you know you have issues with sexual drive (as a guy). its just your own responsibility.

OP here, so should I just go and commit suicide now? I'm not willing to become a felon, my life would be ruined either way.

>>18353731

Look at it this way. They are held accountable by being raped.

Same as being drunk with money stuffed in your pockets wandering down an alley gets you mugged.

It's still a crime to mug and rape people - and you probably shouldn't do things to increase your likelihood of becoming a victim either.

>>18353739

You will leave jail eventually. Your anus may recover.

It's the "registered sex offender" that will really fuck up your life.

>>18353731

Your shitty inability to prevent yourself from sexually assaulting women is not a moral grey area, nor is it society's responsibility to subsidize your rapist tendencies. There is no excuse. There is absolution of responsibility. None.

Taking advantage of people in vulnerable situations is a crime, regardless of how self-inflicted a victim's vulnerability is, thats why we send rapists and child molesters to prisons. There is no conversation to be had about "Why was she so drunk?" or "What are your sexual impulses like?" If a girl says no and you have sex with her anyways you're a rapist and you should be in prison. Period. End of conversation.

>>18353767
>If a girl says no
you misread my friend

>>18353774

>you misread my friend

I didn't. I was addressing that shitty, age-old argument about "You should be responsible for not getting too drunk to stop being raped."

I'm curious about that because what exactly is it you're implying? Yes, we all know its irresponsible and a terrible idea to get blackout drunk in unsafe situations and it makes you very easy to be taken advantage of but what does that have to do with the rape? What does the things the victim should've or shouldn't have done to stop the rape have to due with the amount of responsibility the rapist holds for committing the rape?

Absolutely none, which is why I'm so confused when people bring up this argument because quibbling about what could have been done to prevent an event is always counterproductive when talking about what is to be done after the event has already happened. Its just useless Monday morning quarterback bullshit.

Yes, preventative action is important, but it has no place in a conversation about or with someone who has already been raped.

>>18353791
>shitty age-old argument
but when why do you proceed to agree with it?
I'm not being misogynist or something here, I already said the guy is as much responsible for stopping himself from getting too drunk to stop his sexual drive and realize what he's doing

I'm not saying they should be considered a victim, I'm not even arguing anything about "preventative action"

I'm just asking why in one situation the law says "being drunk prevented you from making reasonable decisions therefore you did not consent" but that being drunk preventing you from making reasonably decisions does not extend to making sexual advances on someone?

>>18353808

>but when why do you proceed to agree with it?

Because context is the foundation of human interaction, anon. Context. "Agree" is not a blanket statement. Things vary in validity and appropriateness depending on the context.

>I'm just asking why in one situation the law says "being drunk prevented you from making reasonable decisions therefore you did not consent" but that being drunk preventing you from making reasonably decisions does not extend to making sexual advances on someone?

Because the burden of responsibility does not fall on the victim, it falls on the perpetrator. The reason for committing a crime is not as important as the fact that a crime has been committed.

The moral responsibility for raping someone while you were drunk is nowhere near the equivalent of being too drunk to consent to sexual activity. The same logic is extended to all crimes. If the hammer drops anywhere its on the person who committed the act, not the person who may or may not have had the mental capacity to stop it.

I am aware there is a lot of grey area in this argument when talking about degrees of intoxication but lets not forget that "I was too drunk to know any better" is not a valid excuse for any crime. Drunk people are convicted for fucking up every day and this is no different.

>>18353842
Fair enough, it just seemed weird that responsibility based on being drunk was so unequal but when you compare it to "is failing to stop a crime prevent you from being a victim" it makes much more sense to me now.
I'm not very good with legal stuff.
thanks for not pol-posting

There is close to 0% chance you face criminal charges unless you do something retarded like confess. Unfortunately, there is a high chance you get expelled from college.

Hopefully you didn't say anything already to the harassment office or send incriminating texts. Your best bet is to come up with a plausible story about miscommunication. You didn't hear her say no, or she said no about something else and you thought she consented to what happened.
Read your university's sexual conduct policy to make it fit.

>>18353618
You better get a fucking lawyer otherwise you're gonna be the one getting fucked

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LAWYER UP YOU FAGGOT AND DONT TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT IT

>>18353808
drunk driving is a crime, being drunk does not excuse the harm you can cause by driving even though your decision making was impaired by being drunk

the same applies here, rape is a crime, your impaired decision making due to being drunk does not excuse the harm you can cause

it is NOT a crime to get drunk, which is all that the girl did. the blame is 100% on OP, who committed a crime. being drunk does not excuse the harm he has caused

why is this so fucking hard for people to understand

>>18353618
neck yourself you sick fuck. people like you shouldnt be allowed to walk the streets. youre even worse because you think being drunk provides an excuse for your actions. i will tell you right now if you ever did that shit to someone i cared about you wouldnt have to hang yourself because id hunt you down and hang your scumbag ass myself fuckhead

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>>18353618
>she says no but i fingered her and groped her

You fucked up anon. Now man up and live with the consequences. Apologize to her and try to make amends. It show's character and is what usually works best. Denying it and going the lawyer route from the start is pussying out.

That said, you should get a layer if she wants to take things further and goes to the courts.

Let this be a lesson for life so you stop being a douche.