One of my longest friends threw himself off a bridge last night

Just get him a get well soon card

Wow you're no friend of his.

Maybe he didn't want advice, he just wanted someone to talk to. I'd throw myself off a bridge if you were my "friend" too

>>18349845
Well, he didn't seem too eager to listen to me the last 10 years.

>"You should've talked to him!"
Oh, I did. Literally hundreds of times about this. You wanna take a guess at how much of my advice he took?

Also I spent the night hanging out with him beforehand. I'm not here just for him to call up whenever he feels bummed, especially when he ignores all my advice anyway. It's a waste of my time and breath.

>>18349874
Then why the fuck are you even his friend in the first place?

>>18349793
If you didn't care you wouldn't be on here posting about this. You're going to do whatever the fuck you want to anyway so fuck it.

>>18349793
so your friend has bouts of suicidal ideation. did he threaten to kill himself? thats grounds for involuntary commitment in most states in the u.s. how much help did you really offer if you didnt actually act. sorry but telling someone who is suicidal that they shouldnt do it or everything is gna be ok isnt going to work. in addition to having no empathy, youre not very smart. if i were your friend i wouldnt want to see your sanctimonious ass again

I'm not here to claim to be a good friend, and I'm not gonna bother giving a laundry list of things to try and save face. But hey, I hung out with the dude all night before he did it. The fuck you expect me to do, ask if he felt like killing himself?

And I've been this dude's shoulder to cry on for a decade, it's not like I've ignored him. But after 10 years of hearing the same exact complaints, and he makes no effort whatsoever to improve his situation, at what point do you think it's acceptable for me to say "you know what, you're an adult, take responsibility"?

I get it. His job sucks, his girlfriend is poisonous, can't afford rent. But he won't quit or go to school, he keeps taking her back, and he spends his rent check on weed.

So no, I don't feel bad. I'd still like to be there for him though. So do you guys have any advice or do you just wanna call me a shitter?

>>18350330
Maybe throw yourself off the bridge and actually kill yourself so your friend can see how it's done properly?

>>18349793
If you're a real friend you'll pray that he dies. There's literally nothing worse than surviving a suicide attempt.

Acting/lying to his face and family
archive thread boys, nothing to see here

>>18350330
Being a callous husk is underrated. Ignore the whiny feels>reals fags ITT. If you gave advice and companionship for 10 years and he ignored it, I don't know what the fuck these niggas expect you to do. You aren't a psychiatrist and nobody can 'fix' other people.

Contrary to what hollywood says, people with depression aren't fixed by friends and good times (if at all, Robin Williams still an hero'd after all), they're fixed by removing toxic influences and medication, and it seems like your friend hasn't done either.

He swum in toxic waste and it made him sick, and he kept diving back in against your advice. You can like the guy, but whatever man. You can't save him from himself.

You are in a difficult situation because ultimately, as you have learned, you cannot change people and you cannot help people who do not want to be helped. Your friend obviously needs professional help and you're not a professional. It's frustrating and exhausting dealing with these people. Obviously this is someone you care about or you wouldn't have stuck by him for 10 years. I suggest you try to get some professional help to deal with this and to learn some coping skills as well. This is whether or not you continue to try to help him. It's a lot to deal with either way. Best of luck man and I hope things work out.

>>18350431
There's an idea. How many times you think he volunteered to talk about MY problems?

I'm sorry I'm not weeping on the ground, guys, but I'm not exactly the poster child for emotional availability already. I'm trying to be there for him, but I'm sure as fuck not gonna coddle him more. It didn't do much for him so far.

>>18350460
He inherited $100k two years ago, I helped him find an affordable home that he could buy outright, helped find a psychiatrist, and offered to help him invest the rest in a business plan.

He spent every penny on eighths of dabs that he picked up every day.

>all these faggots saying he's a shitty friend
fuck off cunts, you obviously don't know any hopeless people that were offered literally everything

Suicide is horrible and the fact he tried to end his life is awful yes. But as OP he did everything he could. EVERYTHING. No fault of his own and I dont blame him. It's not ops problem that friend decided to fuck his own life and swan dive to his death.

I couldn't understand at first how you'd have no remorse but I think I might get it. At first when he told you this stuff you probably cared a lot and were emotionally invested, but after all the false alarms your ability to feel empathy for them dulled because you were tired of generating mental stress every time he said x to you.

At the same time I think it's important to note that the problem was never his girlfriend or the weed or whatever, those are just symptoms. The problem is whatever is preventing him from overcoming those issues, and that's the problem he really needs advice for. It is the type of thing you're probably not trained to handle. It may also be a very deep, almost mechanical problem, which is why your friend is having such a difficult time fighting it. The same type of problem that causes people to gain 500 lbs or become raging drug addicts despite living decent lives.

If you're looking for a way to generate empathy with all things considered, think about the person this friend would have been if he got his shit together 9 years ago. Try to picture what they'd look/act like as hard as possible. Grieve for that person who would have existed, and realize that your friend is grieving for that person too almost every waking moment of their day, in one way or another.

>>18350717
This.

>>18350717
This was a conversation I had with him last year. I gave him some advice that he did not ask for, and he got offended.

He asked what keeps me above water (because hey I get depressed too and this was the only time he ever bothered asking me about it). I told him i try every day to be the best version of myself, the person I know I can be. I don't always succeed, but I always try.

He had the most genuine laugh and said "but Anon, I'm ALREADY the best version of myself!" Like he had 'perfect' written on his forehead and I was the only one to not notice.

His ego matches his depression. He has two friends on earth who bother with him anymore, his brother and myself. He won't listen to either of us.

>>18349793

You don't actually give a shit about being his friend anymore, that likely died long ago. You just now realize it after the incident. You're more concerned of how people will view you since we live in a world full of feels. I'd say level with him straight. In your shoes, I'd tell him he's a burden to act like such a moron with his life choices, and a terrible friend to leave behind the fallout of a suicide on you after your decade+ friendship. Walk away and find better friends.

>>18350956
Oh no, I realized all that some months ago, haha. I mean, I still want good done by him, but I'm so very tired of watching him making the same mistakes he did when he was 16 and then expecting favors and attention. Like I try to be there for all my friends, but fuckin' a, man, I got my own shit, too.

Anyway, he's in jail for the night. Drunk and disorderly. He denied bail, and has court in the morning. So, he'll be fine. It was like a 20ft bridge into a slow river.

>>18349793
hahaha

>>18349793
If you don't care, why pretend

>>18351049
Well, I don't expect my lack of empathy would go over very well with him. Not that it's really a big deal for me, but he just jumped off a fucking bridge, I don't want to rock the boat.

Second, I'm still best friends with his brother, and I love his mom. His brother knows me well, he doesn't expect me to actually feel anything about the situation, but he appreciates that I'm making mechanical attempts at helping. I just want to appear sympathetic to their mom.

Third, when people find out my close friend attempted suicide and ask me about it, I don't want them to realize how completely apathetic I am to it. I've discovered that people are usually unnerved when they find out exactly how comfortable you are with never seeing them ever again at a moment's notice.

>>18351177
Fair enough, you're not an uncaring robot then, you're just tired and can't help this person any further other than being there.

>>18349793

Sometimes the emotions come later. Sometimes it takes a long time for it to hit you.

Even if you don't feel anything now, go visit him and his family, for old time's sake.

>>18351212
I mean, he's fine. If he died I probably wouldn't be so cavalier, but who knows.

I mean I'm honestly surprised it took this long.

Sitting here, it occurs to me that it probably wasn't a real suicide attempt.
I mean, that is reasonably obvious already, but I don't even think it was supposed to be mistaken for a suicide attempt.

Sure, it's the closest bridge to his house, but it's not very tall, and there's a large river below.

He probably just leapt in the water and swam right to shore.

Lol

You should just try doing the same but correctly

>>18349874
Nigga how are you missing the point. He doesnt want your faggy advice. He wants a friend to talk to. Probably threw himself off when he realized you were a piece of shit.

>>18349793
After reading all your explanations I understand what you're feeling now. You're just sick of it. You did all you could, tried to help him get his life together, and offered advice and empathy, and he refused to listen and just kept feeling sorry for himself. I think I would still care that he did that, but I understand why you probably don't. Dealing with the stress of a friend being that way and refusing to even try to improve their life gets very exhausting and empathy just kind of dies after trying to work with him for so long. I honestly would just be straight with him, and break it off if he can't even attempt to change his life. You tried, Anon. Don't let autists here tell you otherwise, I've been in a similar situation.

>>18351364
You're right.

I'll just cancel my plans AGAIN because he called me up crying AGAIN about a fight he got in with his girlfriend AGAIN, but like fuck me if I suggest he do something about it.

Fuck off, m8, if you don't want help then stop fucking asking for it.

did he died

>>18352013
Frankly I cannot blame you.

At first what you said sounds bad, but dealing with mentally ill people can be absolutely draining, especially when your help doesn't change their situation at all.

As >>18351471 said, you tried anon.

However, try to not get too angry or bothered by his actions. He acted that way because he wasn't sane.

>>18349845
You've clearly never been in a similar situation.
>>18349793
>>18349874
Have a friend that's somewhat similar. He's tried to overdose three times and every time he does he comes running to me for emotional support. He won't take any advice from me or his family. He seems stable now but if he pulls that shit again I'm just going to tell him to fuck off.

>>18349874
Jeez, no wonder he threw himself off a bridge. From this post I can say you don't actually care about him at all. I bet he could tell this is how you feel and that's why he did it. You don't care that he tried to kill himself, you care that it affects you.

>>18349793
Crazy people are crazy people, bro. You can't be responsible for them. I had a crazy GF, and it was just too much because they'll just use you up and keep on using. You can't fix people, they can only fix themselves. It sucks that he threw himself off a bridge, but at some point he can't be your problem

>>18352693
I thought I established that in the OP

Update: turns out he didn't even jump. Someone else kept him restrained until the EMTs got there. He fought one, and so the police charged him with drunk and disorderly.

So yeah, crisis averted, I guess